Completeing the Circle
by Mstremble2
Summary: This is my thoughts on what happened after Season 12. This is a work in progress. Please enjoy and review. ***I do not own these characters or have anything to do with Law and Order:SVU. Dick Wolf created and owns the characters. I am just borrowing them for this journery.***
1. It's Never too Late

Captain Cragen sat in his office talking to Dr. Huang and Alex Cabot about their latest case. He said,

"Alex, I'm stuck on how to get help with this case, Bab's won't speak to anyone but Olivia and Elliott. Olivia went in with Nick and Bab's shut down."

Alex asked,

"What happened when Olivia went alone?"

Cragen shrugged,

"Same thing. She wants Elliott to be in charge of her case and will only speak to him, but we all know Elliott is retired and I don't think he will come back for this or any other case."

Dr. Huang,

"I have spoken to him and it has been 2 years and he is in an amazing place in his life. He has healed, he has done a lot of personal work – he is not the same man who left here – he is happy. I could talk to him if you want."

Alex looked at Cragen and said to Huang,

"I have spoken to him and extended an invitation to him to come today. He said he would see. He did not say no."

Dr. Huang said,

"I also spoke to him and he can not be here today. He said if we wanted to talk to him we would have to see him at the Academy since he is in class today."

Cragen said nodded,

"That is right, he is instructing the new SVU trainees and hand to hand at the Academy now and I approached 1 PP about having him come and they said it up to him and his therapist."

They were interrupted by a knock on the door. Cragen said,

"Come in."

Olivia walked in, she looked around and said,

"I have never seen Bab's so tight lipped. She has made it very clear we bring Elliott or she tanks our case."

Alex said,

"Her not talking will not tank our case but it certainly will make it a lot harder to find and convict our rapist. But to go down the easy side of the road how do we get Elliott to do this?"

Olivia looked at them,

"I take it you all have kept in touch with Elliott. I know I haven't heard from him at all since he left."

Dr. Huang said,

"I have kept in touch with him as I got him the help he needed and asked for."

Olivia sighed in relief,

"He actually said the words 'I need help'."

Dr. Huang shook his head and said,

"He actually said, 'I am in big trouble here can you please get me some proper help' and that is what I did. Olivia until the night of Jenna's shooting, I had no idea how much trouble he was really in emotionally."

Cragen said,

"None of us knew, including you Olivia. I honestly believe that if he had stayed on with us we would have found him with a gun in his mouth."

Olivia gasped,

"I don't believe he would take his own life, being it is a suicide is a sin in the Catholic religion But I am glad he went."

Dr. Huang looked at Olivia,

"Religion or not Olivia, you did not see him after the shooting. He was very clear to me that suicide was a very clear option."

They sat silently for a moment to let Olivia absorb the words he had said. Once the shock wore off her face, Cragen said,

"If he agrees to come back and run this case will you be okay to work with him, understanding he is not the same man now who left this unit. You have to know he is in a really good place right now."

Olivia said,

"I had my grieving time, I also spent some time on the couch with my therapist and I can deal with working with him. We are doing it to help Bab's and her community and no other reason."

Dr. Huang said looking at this watch,

"Then let us get down to the Police Academy and find out."

Olivia headed out the door and back to her desk, Cragen said,

"Olivia. You, John and Fin are coming too. Let's go, we are going to the Police Academy. The rest of you continue what you were doing. We will be back shortly."

They looked at each other and the six of them headed out. Leaving the new guys to wonder and watch them leave.


	2. Dr Ross's Office

_**AN: as this journey continues, some chapters will be longer than others depending on what is happening during that point of the journey. Again please enjoy and review...**_

He sat in her bright, peaceful office. It had big windows that opened to the morning sun - he stood remembering the first time he had really seen her.

**2 years earlier...**

For most people it would have been their first meeting but he was so out of it for the first 6 weeks after entering the Greenwood Clinic all he did was lie in bed, crying or despondently staring off into space when he was awake and sleeping when he stopped. All he remembered was her smell and understanding voice - sometimes she was alone, sometimes there was a male voice he recognized - telling him not to fight his feelings to just let them out to clear his system. He heard her say that everything would be okay.

He remembered the day he finally woke up and got out of bed, he was in the bathroom looking at himself in the mirror - although the hair was a lot longer than normal and the face was covered in a full beard the only things he recognized were the eyes - still blue but very different, very aged, very lifeless and very tortured. As he stroked the beard and assessed the grey in it he smelt her - the little hint of lavender and then he heard her say,  
"Welcome back, you must be hungry."  
He turned to walk out of the bathroom and for the first time realized he was nude, he looked at her and blushed. She handed him a white cotton robe as if seeing a strange naked man walking out of a bathroom was normal to her, as he put it on he got his first real look at her. She noticed his reaction and said,

"When George brought you here 6 weeks ago, you were totally despondent, we got a gurney and brought you to this room. The first few days you were in a hospital gown, one morning I came in and you were nude so we just left you that way. It was easier to put in the IV's for hydration and nutrients, also easier for the catheter."

She was a 5'6" brunette casually dressed middle age lady - she wore glasses that made her look younger than he assumed her age was, he figured she was about his age. He nodded at her question and said in a voice he did not recognize as he heard his stomach grumble,  
"Yes I am hungry."  
She said as she extended a hand to him which he took and in her handshake he felt her kindness and understanding,  
"Since you probably do not remember me I am Dr. Sabrina Ross and you and I are going to get to know each other very well. But let's get you some real food and not the liquid diet you have been on while you slept."  
He looked around the room, she noticed and asked,  
"What are you looking for?"  
"My clothes."  
She smiled, and showed him to the closet where his clothes were. She then said as she turned to leave,  
"I will be outside by the nurses desk come join me once you finish dressing."  
He nodded. Once the door closed, he looked around the room for the first time, it was bright with sunlight and the greens and blue it was painted made it very peaceful. He headed into the large closet and noticed there was a dresser there also. Looking at the clothes he noticed there was more than 1 change of clothes and they were all his. He picked out a pair of jeans and a tshirt, he changed and after putting on a pair of runners he headed out.

Sure enough she was waiting for him, as they headed to the kitchen she gave him a tour explaining that she was founder and CEO of Greenwood Clinic and had 4 other doctors who worked there. She explained that all of them had patients in different stages of treatment within the clinic. She explained he was her one and only patient therefore he would have an individual session everyday with her and group sessions would be done with Dr. Stevens 3 times a week. They ended the tour in the kitchen where he met the cook Rita, she told him that the kitchen was open 24/7 just like he was at home. She also informed him that if he wanted a late night snack he could cook it himself but 'please clean your mess'. He told her to point him to the takeout menus causing them all to laugh.

**Present Day...**

His thoughts were interrupted when the door opened and Sabrina, as she expected him to call her, walked in.

"Good morning Elliott. How are you today?"

He stood up until she took a seat and then sat himself and said,

"I feel fine, but I received 2 calls from the past asking me to go back there and I am not sure how I feel about that."

She nodded,

"George called me and explained the situation. What are your concerns?"

He took a deep breath and said,

"I'm afraid if I go back I will want to stay because I might second guess my decision and think it was a mistake to leave and honestly that scares me."

She nodded and half smiled, he noticed and said,

"You have been on me from the start to be honest about my feelings..."

She again nodded and said,

"That is not what the smile was about. You have been my hardest and scariest case of PTSD I have ever had, and yet you, of all the 100s of cases I have dealt with, are the one I am most proud of. They say we are never too old to learn and you, my friend, proved that statement to be true. Sitting here listening to you speak honestly and openly about your feelings has been very therapeutic. You need to remember why you walked away it was not because of the victims."

He nodded, and asked,

"I told George I would be at the academy this afternoon if he wanted to talk to me about it. Will you sit in on the conversation please?"

She nodded,

"Yes I will. I will be your monitor through this whole process. Personally, if this was happening a year ago I would be strongly advising against it, but since you have recovered in leaps and bounds I think it will be a good test. You need to remember to go into this as the guy you are today, not as the man you were. Also, I want to monitor this for 2 reasons: 1. I want to see who you are as a detective, it is one thing to see you on paper but another to see you up close and personal, and 2. I want to meet the lady you are in love with, the final pieces of your puzzle."

**AN: Sorry about the crazy formatting issue, I wrote this chapter on my iPhone and sent it as an email during a bus trip...it will be the only chapter like this...**


	3. At the Police Academy

The six of them walked into the Academy and were directed to the amphitheater, it was big room with about 500 seats, they sat in the very back row, the rest of the room quickly filled up. John said,

"Why are we here?"

George said,

"Just watch and listen, it will all make sense."

The lights went down and a lone female figure stood at the podium, she said,

"Welcome to this afternoon's seminar, I am Dr. Sabrina Ross and I am a FBI psychiatrist who deals with PTSD, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. I have treated many cases of it, some very mild to recently the most severe. I retired three years from regular practice and just concentrated on speaking and writing books, I also testify as an expert in court cases. Two years ago I was called by a very good friend of mine, fellow FBI psychiatrist Dr. George Huang, he right now works with Manhattan SVU profiling their suspects to help the detectives get into their heads. Dr. Huang called and said he had an emergency case of a detective who was in the process of having a mental breakdown and who was suffering from a severe case of PTSD. Now you may ask how did Dr. Huang let it get so far? And why was he not treating him? Well, you can not help someone who refuses your help, you can only make it clear that if they want help the door is open, no matter what time. This detective finally fell far enough that he needed help and went through that open door. Dr. Huang did not treat him because PTSD is my specialty and not his. I have to say he was in really, really bad shape when I first met him, I was actually scared that we may have been too late. But he put his pride aside and let me help and I am happy to say after 2 years we have a success story. He has agreed to tell his story, the good, the bad and the awful and finally his recovery. He is not the only one who has gone through this or is going through it, this seminar is to open the door to the world of PTSD and what you need to do to help yourself. These jobs we do, we do to help the victims and catch the perps, we are seeing them in the worst 20 mins of their lives, but no one thinks of the toll it takes on us as professionals. His is our story and how we can help each other get through. First we will do the talk and if there are any questions either for our detective or myself we will answer them at the end."

She looked to the top of the room and saw the six of them, Dr. Huang gestured towards Olivia and Dr. Ross acknowledged the gesture with a half smile. She surveyed the room and said,

"Without further a due I would like to introduce First Grade Detective Elliott Stabler."

Elliot was nervous, it was only his 3rd lecture and he had the basics down pat but the idea of telling his story to so many people still unnerved him, but Dr. Ross was always there to make sure he was okay.

As Elliott took the stage and thanked Dr. Ross, John, Fin and Olivia sat there looking stunned at each other. Olivia looked at Elliott on the stage, he looked different not just because he was now sporting a full goatee, which she thought looked good on him, he was thinner than she remembered but still very well built, from her distance she thought he looked tanned, but despite the fact she knew he hated public speaking he looked relaxed.

Elliott looked around the room and because the lights were dimmed, to show slides behind him of PTSD symptoms and watch signs, he did not see his former work mates. He started to speak...

"As Dr. Ross said, I am Detective Elliott Stabler, I am retired after 25 years on the force. I joined the force in 1988 after 2 tours in the Marines. I became a father when I was 17 years old and being raised a "good" Catholic, I did right by the mother of my child and married her once we were done high school. We had only been together 4 months and my father's theory was "you play you pay". She was 17 also, it was the first time for both of us, and since I now had to support a wife and child, I joined the Marines to get some training and money. I got some really good skills while in the Marines, I became a hand to hand combat specialist and also got a college degree in law enforcement. By the time my first enlistment was done I had another child on the way. I enlisted again, my wife thought it was to get away from the kids but it was really for money. After my second tour, I was released with an honorable discharge and pension. I joined the police force and started out as a beat cop, then I was upgraded to detective and was given my first female partner when I was transferred to homicide, with having 2 young daughters I always worried about their safety, I noticed there were a lot of sex crimes and to get into the sex crime unit all I had to do was volunteer, there was no added training or anything like that it was on the job learning. By this time my wife was pregnant with another baby, which we later found out were twins, now the father of four I had more to worry about. I volunteered for the special victims unit and was teamed up with a male veteran Dave, who trained me how to be with Special Victims, the raped, the violated and children. I always found the cases that involved children and young girls the worst because I could see my kids in the victims. Dave retired after 4 years of being my partner and I was given a rookie female partner who had a lot spunk and turned out she evened me out in that where I was weak in people skills she was strong and her weaknesses were my strengths. She was my partner for 12 years until I had to walk away 2 years ago. She and I trusted each other with our lives, I always had her back and she always had mine – maybe too much. About 3 years into our partnership, which is kind of like a marriage in many ways, the cases we had were getting worse as we went along, and I was unable to talk to my wife about them because I didn't want to bring it home. When she would ask about my day I would say it was fine, and she asked if I talked to Olivia, my partner, about the my day and when I said yes my wife would get upset. I tried to tell her that I didn't want to bring my work home, I didn't want that world tainted by the horrible things I saw every day. The cases would keep me away from home for days sometimes, and it wasn't just me it was all my fellow officers in the unit. My wife didn't want to hear it, she thought I was avoiding coming home, and part of me was – I was never unfaithful to my wife but every bad case took a little piece of my soul and the constant jealousy and fighting with a woman who did not understand my job was taking its toll. My wife and I separated and Olivia being the partner she was tried to fix it for me even though I never asked her too. I went back to my wife but things were never the same, we had make up sex and she was pregnant again with my fifth child. By this time my first 4 kids were in the age range of 14 to 21, having another baby was not what I wanted, granted I love my son to death but I could not stay married to my wife just for his sake. I filed for divorce and this only fueled my wife's fire that Olivia and I were sleeping together, which we weren't, we had plenty of opportunities but we never crossed that line. Just to put it out there, having a good partner is like a second marriage, you need to trust them on all levels. We did undercover stings and operations where we were both in compromising positions, we played husband and wife, she played a prostitute and I was her john. We had such great chemistry that people always assumed we were married or a couple, we could finish each other's sentences, we shared lunches, even we were not afraid to drink out of the same cup. I know at one point I overheard there was a pool going around as to when we would consume our relationship, but that never happened, would I have been opposed if it had happened, No, she was my safe place." He got a little emotional as his voice broke. "And I know I was hers. We often joked that I was the longest relationship she ever had with a man, but that wasn't because she wasn't an amazing lady it was the job. In Special Victims, they say the average detective lasts 2 years, the four people which includes our Captain, I worked with all are in their teens for years there. I walked away after 18 years in Special Victims, I had a 97% closure rate on the cases I was primary on. But I didn't earn that alone, my partner is responsible for that number as much as I am. So between my divorce and the horribleness of the cases I continued to lose a bit of myself everyday. You may ask, why not get help, it was available. Well early on in my career, 4 years in with SVU the Chief decided to use our unit as experiments by doing psych evaluations on us due to the nature of our cases. I said in my evaluation that I fantasized about killing the perps, it got back to the Morris Commission at that time, that I fantasized about killing suspects. I had to answer to the Commission about a "confidential" session, I then had to see another therapist to have them declare me fit for the job, so I wasn't overly keen on talking. I told Olivia stuff but not everything. A few years into our partnership, Olivia was recruited by the FBI to help with a case and I was given a new partner while she was gone, by this time my divorce was final, Dani was my new partner, for 6 weeks. I ended up kissing her and invited her into my bed for one night of release – she said only if I was working towards a committed relationship, which I said no to. She turned me down, which I am thankful she did. She decided that SVU was not for her, she was having trouble was the cases and the nature of them and could not deal with the victims, she left. In the meantime, Olivia finished her undercover work with the FBI and came back to the squad. Little did I know, she had seen me kiss Dani and watched us getting chummy. I was always a suit and tie guy because I work out a lot and, not to toot my own horn, but these suits and ties do not highlight the muscles like a t-shirt does, – I got hit on a lot by suspects both male and female. But with Dani, I started to wear tighter shirts and jeans and minimal suits, I subconsciously was hitting on her – something I never did with Olivia. Once Olivia came back it was different with us, I questioned it and she asked about the new look and the kiss, knowing how Olivia thought I knew it had hurt her. It took some time for us to get to a new place, but by that time I was losing control, Olivia had to rein me in, I was losing my temper easier and faster, I used my fists alot sooner. Olivia finally one night got me to talk, we were working late and she got coffee and forced me to talk. I told her everything, she just listened, we got to a new understanding in our jobs and with our partnership, then one night when we were undercover I got shot twice, now I had been shot and stabbed before but this felt different I really thought I was going to die, I felt my life ending. Olivia got to me right after I hit the ground and she radioed for an bus, in layman terms an ambulance, she held me putting pressure on the bloodiest wound she was reassuring me I would ok, I said to her, "Liv, I am in love with y..." and I passed out. At that moment it was important for me to tell her I loved her, I didn't get it all out but she understood and whispered to me, "I know and I am in love with you." At this point, Olivia was crying and John, Fin and Cragen looked at her, she just looked away. "Once I got to the hospital, they fixed me up after 5 hours of surgery. When I woke up my 4 oldest kids were there. But again the bullets took away a little more of my soul. Olivia now knew I loved her and I knew she loved me, which put a different spin on our partnership, I knew I would never act on my feelings because we would not be able to be partners and one of us would have to transfer out, so we kept our feelings to ourselves, but we had a couple of cases where we dealt with a psychic and she told us after we interviewed her that we really needed to act on the love we had for each other as life was to short to waste, which was awkward since our Captain was listening and watching outside the interrogation room. So to this point, I am getting over my divorce, getting back with my partner who I am in love with but can't do anything about my feelings towards her and every case we take gets more horrific as we go on, and my feelings for her affected the way I handled the cases, I found myself putting her first over the victims. Emotionally I knew I was in trouble, we were like a well oiled machine and still closed 97% of my cases. Then the night that finished me, we were all in the squad room doing paperwork and 14 year old Jenna came into the room firing a gun at anyone in her way, she hit 4 officers and was headed towards Olivia firing her gun, I grabbed my gun and fired. The press crucified me, calling me Killer Cop, I was suspended and put on Administrative leave until IAB decided whether it was a good shoot or bad one. I looked at Olivia when I saw the paper and said, "I'm done." She insisted it would be fine and I would be cleared and she stated, 'You've been in worse situations'. But whether I was cleared or not..." His voice broke again, and he fought to maintain his composure. "Whether I was cleared or not, I knew I was done in Special Victims. When that bullet cracked leaving the barrel of my gun, something inside me snapped and all I was left with was the body of a 14 year old girl dying in my arms. I knew I would never be the same again. I was put on Administrative leave and handed in my gun and badge, once I was cleared I went back to the squad room and put an envelope in Olivia's desk draw and walked out never to go back again. I didn't say good bye to anyone I just left, I walked until I got to Dr. George Huang's office, he was just leaving as he was going to go to the squad room. He looked at me, invited me in and we sat down, I started to tell him what happened but I couldn't I just cried. Me who never cries, me who was raised to suck it up and deal with it. I cried uncontrollably for at least an hour, Dr. Huang said nothing. When I was finally composed enough to look up he had tears running down his face, I said to him, 'I am in big trouble here can you please get me some proper help'. For those who know me, they know I never ask for help, I have always considered myself unbreakable and the guy who gave help but never needed it. He picked up his phone and talked to Dr. Ross, they got me into a 12 month inpatient treatment center in upstate New York. Dr. Huang drove me there I never went home, I asked him what was wrong with me, and he in his unassuming gentle way said, 'you have Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and you need help to fix it. And Elliott it is treatable with medication and a lot of therapy.' He told Dr. Ross, who was newly retired, but owed him a favor and was more than happy to help me. The first things I had to do was change my phone number and give up my apartment unless I was willing to pay for an empty home. Seeing as I had support to pay for my youngest son and college for 3 kids I gave up my apartment. The only people who had my new number were my kids, my Captain and Dr. Huang. Dr. Huang asked if I had a message for Olivia and I said no, I left her an envelope, he looked at me funny and I said, I gave her a Marine farewell, a button of my badge number and a Semper Fe, all I asked of him was to make sure she was okay while I was gone because I knew she would be hurt and angry. I also knew we were so close we were almost one person and I needed her to be okay. I said to him how do I tell the one woman I am in love with Good Bye. He said, 'You don't, you tell her you will see her later.' The first 6 weeks at the treatment center are a blur for me, I slept and cried for most of it – I know I had therapy sessions but don't really remember them, by the seventh week I got outside and started to work my way back to being human, as Dr. Ross explained to me early on, my life is like a 1000 piece jigsaw puzzle that is in pieces and needs to be put together, she was going to help me do it one piece at a time. It took the whole year at the center for me to feel even 3/4 normal, I started working out with Dr. Ross who happens to be in better shape than I was. My relationship with my kids is now excellent, I no longer need meds, I got myself a nice 2 bedroom apartment in the city, I no longer go to the same places I went to before my breakdown. And 1PP called me and asked me to teach the new SVU recruits at the academy along with hand to hand combat skills, I also do officer recertification on Hand to Hand. I also help the Feds on local cases once in a while. I have only been doing this for 6 months. While in the treatment center IAB cleared me, and called it a good shoot, I applied for my full pension, which I now get. One question my students asked was, do I miss SVU and if I would ever go back to it? My answer, I miss my coworkers they are great people and I consider them my friends but I would never go back full time, if I did Dr. Ross would never be able to retire, I would wear out a few of her couches, but on the upside she would have another bestseller." The room laughed, "I do want to say to anyone who is suffering from PTSD don't suffer alone, talk to someone get help in the early stages don't wait til you get to where I was. I considered ending it and it would not have been hard to do with the state I was in, the only thing that stopped me from swallowing my gun is I am Catholic and suicide is against the faith and voids life insurance policies."

He looked at Dr. Ross and as she stood up, the audience gave him a standing ovation for at least 5 minutes, he smiled the lights came up and he looked around the room, that is when he saw her, her hair was longer and she looked thinner, even though she was crying he saw her smile at him the way she always did when she understood and was ok with a situation. Dr. Ross asked if there were any questions, there were a few and they answered them and then the room started to empty.

Dr. Ross said to Elliott,

"Just wait a minute, as you probably noticed there are a couple of people here who want to talk to you."

He nodded but could not keep his eyes off of Olivia, he was afraid if he did she would be gone.


	4. Greenwood Clinic

The dining room was well decorated with fresh plants, big windows covered with sheers. The tables were set up to seat 4, as he looked around getting acquainted with his new surroundings Dr. Ross watched him. Rita had already asked him what he wanted to eat, and she came to the table with bacon, eggs and toast for him, he was taking Dr. Ross's advice and eating a small first meal, he was drinking orange juice and coffee. Rita only brought one plate, Elliott looked at Dr. Ross,

"Are you not eating?"

She shook her head,

"No just decaf for me, I ate breakfast already. I will wait another hour for lunch. I think this is a good time for us to get acquainted."

He nodded as he ate his eggs. Dr. Ross continued,

"Firstly I want you call me Sabrina. I hope you come to think of me as a friend who is here to help you through this muddy time. You and I will have many highs and just as many lows through this but in the end your health and happiness is what I am interested in."

He ate a little faster than he had intended too, but he underestimated how hungry he was. Rita seeing his plate was empty came to take it and asked,

"That was quick can I get you anything else?"

He looked at Sabrina, she said,

"You have been on fluids for 6 weeks, eat as much as your stomach is comfortable with. Also remember the kitchen is 24/7 and food is unlimited."

He nodded,

"Just a couple more toast and jam. That should do me til lunch."

He looked at Sabrina and said,

"So what did Huang do for you that was so big it took you out of retirement to help with me?"

She smiled,

"Well a few years ago..." she stopped when she caught him coming across the dining room and then continued,

"I may not have to explain, here comes the man himself."

Elliott turned to look behind himself and saw George coming towards the table, he leaned back in his chair as George said,

"Welcome back Elliott."

Elliott nodded as he watched Sabrina gesture for George to sit down. After George sat down, Rita came with the order of toast and another cup, she also had the coffee pot and did refills all around. Elliott said,

"Thank you. I was just asking Sabrina why she owed you such a big favour."

Sabrina looked at George. He explained,

"A few years ago when I first started with the bureau and had not met Sabrina yet, she was helping with a case and physically lost it on a perp, the bureau thought that she was not fit for duty as she put the perp in the hospital landing him in isolation leading him to file assault charges against her. Because I was new to the job, they ordered me to do a psych evaluation on her to assess her fitness for duty. I admit she was a little stressed but which one of us has not thought about killing a perp. I helped her out. She was reinstated, specialized in PTSD and said she would owe me a big favour when and if I ever needed it."

Elliott sat wide eyed and looking on with respect at this lady,

"Wow, so you are a badass, huh? I thought I was the only one."

They laughed. Sabrina said,

"No you are not the only one and that is why I got into PTSD. Seeing what we see everyday it changes us, at first in small ways but all those small ways become huge if left alone. And the worst part is, instead of things getting better, people think of worse and worse things to do to each other. Just when we think we have seen everything out there, someone comes up with something so much worse. So when I tell you I understand I really do. I've been there."

Elliott said to George,

"This is not the first time you have come here since I was admitted right?"

George shook his head,

"No I have been here every week for the last 6 weeks. I do not know how much of our conversation you remember, but you asked me to talk to your kids and ex wife – to let them know what was going on. So I did, I got the address off your medical emergency form and set up a meeting with all your kids and Kathy. Understandably they were very upset, Eli did not understand, but Maureen, Kathleen, Richard and Elizabeth do and were really upset, but glad you are getting help, I have kept them up to date with weekly calls. I also gave your kids my number if they wanted to talk, I know you are on good terms with Kathy but my priority is your kids since talking to them. They were really worried but I promised them they would get to see you once you are up to it, in the meantime, Maureen and Kathleen went to your apartment and packed your clothes so you would have them. They added a few pictures and mementos to make your room more homey, I also brought them brochures of where you are staying so they know you are okay."

Sabrina said,

"When you are ready for them to come and visit, I have a place for them to stay so they can come for a weekend visit if they want."

Elliott nodded, he had tears in his eyes. George noticed him, and Sabrina said,

"I know this is hard for you especially being away from your kids but you are no good to them like this, they need to see you getting help and you need to be healthy for them."

Elliott said to George,

"I really don't remember much about the night you brought me here, what I do remember is sitting in your office crying and once I stopped I looked at you and you had tears rolling down your cheeks. I don't ever remember seeing you so scared. Even when we went to the jail to do that interview and you got attacked because it was shift change for the guards and we were stuck in the cell with him I never saw fear in your eyes. With all we have seen why was I different for you?"

George was a little surprised by the question,

"Because you are one of the strongest men I have ever met, anger is your most shared emotion yet everyone knows you guard the rest of your feelings behind the badge. I am sure Olivia has been privy to your other emotions but she would never tell anyone because that is the one thing you both have in common your loyalty to each other, you both guard that bond with your lives. I do have to say it has served you both very well over the years."

Elliott asked,

"How is Olivia?"

George,

"Like you she is having a hard time. I would like to let her know you are okay and you will get in contact with her when you are ready and able, if that is okay."

Elliott nodded,

"Just don't go beyond that. I want her to be able to go forward build a life for herself. I have always felt that I have held her back."

George looked at Sabrina, she nodded and said,

"You and I will get into your relationship with your partner at the end of this. For the next little while we will concentrate on you first and then your kids. That is the immediate priority."

George said to Sabrina,

"Well I need to get going. I am expected in the squadroom at 4:00pm."

Sabrina laughed,

"Good thing we are only an hour north of the city. George I will walk you out, and Elliott I will be back shortly."

Elliott said his goodbyes and Sabrina left to walk George out.

Once outside the dining room out of earshot of Elliott, George asked,

"So what do you think now that he is up and about?"

She leaned close,

"We have a very long road ahead of us, but when all is said and done he will be healthy and happy and you and I will be more than even."

George chuckled,

"His kids want to meet you. They want to know who is treating their dad and they have a lot of questions."

Sabrina nodded,

"Okay. I want you there, give me 14 days here then you arrange a meeting at my home office in the city and let me know. I will be there."


	5. After the Speech

**A/N: Thank you to all of you following my story, I appreciate you. I have cleaned up the grammar in the previous chapters, I usually type as fast as I think, but in some cases some words got missed or misused. I want to Thank you all for coming on this Journey and I hope you continue to enjoy it. All I ask is that you please review it. And so it continues...**

Once the room emptied, the six visitors came down to the stage and he, for the first time in 2 years, spoke to them. He shook hands with Fin, John, Cragen and Dr. Huang. He hugged Alex and looked at Olivia unsure how to proceed and she hugged him and whispered in his ear,

"You look good."

He smiled and whispered back,

"So do you."

Dr. Ross watched and heard their exchange, she watched their uncertainty, as she thought these two are the end of the puzzle good or bad, they need to complete it. Elliott looked over at Sabrina and introduced her to his former coworkers. They all sat down and Captain Cragen said,

"Elliott, I know Alex and George have spoken to you about the case with Bab's – we need her to talk to us as she is a key witness and she will not speak to anyone but you and Olivia together, we explained you had retired and she said she knew you were teaching at the Academy. She said no you, no information."

Elliott hesitated as he looked at his former co workers and said,

"How do you guys feel about me coming in and working this case?"

Fin said,

"Listen El, you could handle Bab's better than the rest of us, even though she hit on you and Olivia unmercifully. I have no problem with you being primary on this case til it is solved."

John said,

"I agree, the old station house could use a little fun, and by the way, great speech."

Elliott smiled again,

"Thank you."

Elliott looked at Dr. Ross,

"You ready to see the work up-close and personal?"

Dr. Ross said as she looked at Elliott and then at Olivia,

"Yes, I am so up for an adventure and completing your endgame whether it is good or bad."

Captain Cragen looked confused, Elliott said,

"Sabrina is one of the non negotiable parts of this, she is my safety net, besides she used to be a field agent with the bureau way back when, believe me she can take care of herself. But I also come with 6 students who I am training to be SVU detectives so they are the second non negotiable part of the deal. The Chief already approved the field training time for them and they are excited about getting the chance."

John said looking over his glasses,

"Well professor you need to be on your best behavior while doing this, teach by example." Elliott laughed and Olivia realized what the difference was, he was not afraid to show his emotions, he was smiling more, and even laughing, he wasn't angry or hostile, he was the guy she met the very first day she walked into the squad room. The guy who told her she was too hard on the suspects and pulled her out of interviews. She loved this relaxed version of him. Elliott noticed Olivia watching him and he just smiled at her, and she noticed a lightness in his eyes.

She nodded with a smile. Elliott said,

"I would like each detective working on this case to take a recruit and let them shadow and ask questions. I want them involved in this case, I want them to see how a case goes from start to close and the teamwork that is involved in getting there. I also need to know, are Olivia and I going to be partners for this case?"

Cragen looked at him and then at Olivia and ask her,

"Are you OK with working with Elliott again just for this case?"

Olivia looked around at all of them and sighed, she looked at Elliott and said,

"Yes I am OK with working with him. We need to help Bab's and the other women this rapist has raped."

Elliott looked surprised,

"Whoa, Whoa, Bab's was raped?"

Cragen nodded,

"Yes but all she has had done is part of the rape kit and has not said a word, she won't talk unless it is you and your 97% closure rate. She only let them check for fluids, nothing else was done. She was raped 24 hours ago so for the rest of the kit we are time crunched."

Elliott nodded,

"Okay, I get it. We need to get her to the hospital for a full exam."

Cragen said,

"Doc Warner has agreed to do the rest of the exam at Bab's place. Bab's has agreed and is more comfortable with that since she has refused to go back to the hospital."

Elliot nodded and then got serious as he saw the door open at the back of the amphitheater and watched his students come through the door. He waved them over to where he sat and introduced them to his former co workers. John and Fin each took a student. Olivia took one of the females.

Cragen then said,

"Let us meet back at the squad room in 45 mins. We will do a group update so nothing is repeated twice."

Elliott said to Olivia's student,

"Officer Sanchez you can go back with Olivia, since John and Fin are taking Officers Brown and Jones with them. Everyone else will go with me."

They all left and headed for the squad room, Dr. Ross went with Elliott also. While they went back to Elliott's office to wait for the students to grab what they needed for the day, he said to Sabrina,

"Are you going to be with me through everything? Interrogations, home visits, field chases..."

She shook her head,

"Not all of them, but some yes. I am here to make sure you are okay not to stifle you. I will be watching the interrogations, at the precinct but I will not being visiting all crime scenes or interviews in victim's homes. With your students there will be more than enough people around. I will talk to you at the end of every night just to debrief though."

He nodded. She continued,

"Today I just want to get the lay of the land."

They were interrupted by a knock on his office door, Elliott said,

"Come in."

It was Dr. Huang, he said to Elliott,

"Your talk today was perfect. You might want to consider letting your classes hear it, it would give them more insight into what they are getting into."

Elliott said,

"It would also give them more information on me and that I am not sure I am comfortable with. I never knew that much about my teachers."

Sabrina said,

"Elliott, George is right. You are the perfect person to tell them. You have first hand knowledge. Besides do you not think they are going to get to know you better through your co workers? You don't think they are going to tell stories if asked?"

Elliott smiled and nodded,

"Alright. Some are already asking me personal questions that I avoid, maybe I should just go for it."

George said,

"Open the book that is the legend of Elliott Stabler, First Grade Detective."

George then said,

"I will ride over with Sabrina, she and I need to talk."

Sabrina nodded and said,

"Perfect. We are going for coffee first, Elliott do you want us to bring you back anything."

Elliott nodded,

"Sure my new usual."

And with that the two doctors were gone.


	6. GC: Therapy Begins

_**A/N: from this chapter on Greenwood Clinic will be referred to as GC in the Titles. Again Thank you to all of you following this journey and I hope you are continuing to enjoy it. And again please review...**_

It was two days after George's visit and Elliott was now eating his meals in the dining room with the rest of the patients. He learnt that they were all professionals in different stages of mental anguish. Some had bipolar, some had nervous breakdowns, some were depressed, he realized they were all in the same situation as he was, hard working responsible people who needed help getting away from the crap their jobs and lives buried them under. Many of them mentioned they recognized him from the front page of the paper from the 'Killer Cop' edition, but they did not judge him or make assumptions. He, in turn, recognized some of them from the paper also whether it was the social pages or the financial pages.

As promised George and Sabrina met with Elliott's kids the day before and now was time to tell about it. Sabrina said after Elliott sat down,

"In the case of full disclosure, I met your 4 oldest children yesterday at their request..."

She watched his reaction to see how upset he would be, and was surprised when he said,

"I'm ok with that. How are they?"

She smiled,

"You have helped raise some very amazing kids. They are concerned about you, they wanted to meet me basically to check me out. Kathleen is taking Psychology so she knew who I was and wanted to meet me. But they all the same level of concern, they had a lot of questions which I answered and they want to know when they can come and see you. I told them it was up to you, but they still want to talk to you. Maureen gave me a cellphone to which all the kids have the number so they can call you and you can call them. I let them know I would hang on to it, as patients could not have cellphones or internet access during this part of their treatment. They agreed to call on Thursday evening at 7pm because they were available."

Elliott smiled and said,

"I miss them. Being away from them is the hardest part of this, but I know it is for the best. They need me at my prime and I need to be there for me."

She nodded,

"They all want to be a part of the process which I am happy about. I also let them know that down the road they would be more actively involved in your treatment, and this helped to make things easier for them."

He attended his first group session and Dr. Stevens introduced him and asked him if he wanted to say anything. He shook his head, one of the other patients named Sam said to him,

"I used to write for the police beat, and to put it out there you were unfairly crucified in the papers over the little girl you had to shoot, I have seen you many times over the years at different crime scenes and you have even given me information on cases. I have always wondered how a guy with your credentials and years never ended up here before now. The stuff you see everyday is not for the faint of heart, I have a lot of respect for you. I do hope you get to where you can share your story because a lot of us here could learn from it."

He looked around the room and saw a lot of heads nodding in agreement. He said,

"I will tell it I'm just not ready yet, this is all still too new for me."

Dr. Stevens knew his story and did not push, he said to Elliott,

"Everyone here has their own story, as you know, and part of being in group therapy is to learn from each other whether it being coping skills or just giving someone else another view on a situation. You will want to share sooner than you think right now. For the first couple of sessions we encourage observation, but know that you are free to contribute anytime."

Elliott nodded.

By the 4th session Elliott found he was ready to contribute and he told his story. He was surprised by how invested people were in it and how he got invested in their stories. He found group so much easier than individual sessions because in the one on ones it was all him, there was no one else to buffer off of. He learnt a lot about Sabrina and her 10 years in the field, she shared with him as much as he shared with her, she had told him, 'I want you to know I really do understand where you are coming from'. He was shocked at all the awards and recognition certificates she had received. It was also around this time that he wanted to start working out, his eating was back to normal but he was gaining weight but he was also bored. He was up early one morning and was looking out the dining room window as he drank his coffee, he noticed a female figure running on the path in front of the window, she stopped at the bench that was at the end of the path and stretched. Her back was to him so he did not know who she was, he watched with interest until he saw her turn around and head up to the deck that was outside the window. When he saw who is was he went outside and said,

"Hey Sabrina you work out this early every day?"

She was surprised but pleased to see him,

"Yes I do. You want to join me for the rest of my workout this morning?"

She headed for the fridge and came back with 2 bottles of Gatorade and handed him one. She looked at him and said,

"You afraid you can not keep up with me?"

He took the Gatorade and said laughing,

"Let's go."

From that day on for the rest of his stay he worked out with her every morning, that she was there – when she wasn't he worked out alone. They would go for a run, then work out with weights and bands, there were even BowFlexs in the Clinic gym, after it all they went for a swim. It was a huge part of his getting better. What surprised him was that for the amount of patients at the clinic only a select few worked out.


	7. At the Precinct

John, Fin and Olivia entered the precinct with Cragen and their student recruits. Amanda and Nick watched and looked questioningly at the 3 of them, John said,

"These 3 impressionable minds are recruits from the Academy's SVU training class. They will be working with us and shadowing us throughout the Bab's case for however long it takes. You two will be getting a recruit each once they get here with their instructor."

The two new detectives looked at Cragen – he said,

"Answer all questions and teach them properly. Do not show them bad habits, this job can be hard enough when you do it right, we want these 3 and their other classmates to be confident and comfortable. Is that understood?"

Amanda and Nick looked at each other and Nick said,

"Why do WE have recruits following us for this case?"

At that point, Elliot walked in and said,

"Because they are with me and are part of the deal for me coming back to work this case."

They both looked at the man standing in front of them, he was dressed in black suit and white shirt open at the neck with no tie. Elliott put out his hand,

"I am Detective Elliott Stabler."

Amanda shook his hand,

"I am Detective Amanda Rollins."

Elliott then shook Nick's hand,

"I am Detective Nick Amarro, Olivia's new partner."

Elliott said, not acknowledging Nick's stab at ownership,

"Nice to meet both of you, and just to clarify. The victim has requested my presence here."

They both nodded. Captain Cragen said,

"Let's get started. What have we got so far on this case?"

Elliott stood and listened as the other 5 detectives explained the case from the beginning. He never once interrupted until they were done. Captain Cragen looked at Elliott and said,

"Elliott you have any questions?"

Elliott shook his head,

"No I have it all, thanks."

He then looked at his students and said,

"Anyone of my recruits have a question? Don't be afraid to ask, and if you see something that we miss that you think is pertinent to the case speak up, a lead detective is only as good as the team helping him."

Recruit Sanchez said,

"Why is there a lead detective when you have a Captain?"

Elliott said,

"Because the Captain runs the whole squadroom and the lead detective runs and takes full responsibility for an individual case. For example, my name will be listed as lead and anything that goes wrong will fall on me, even though there are other detectives helping with the case. You need to earn the trust of your co workers to make it go smooth."

Fin interrupted,

"We trust Elliott and he trusts us. It is a good team."

Elliott nodded and smiled. He then said,

"Fin is right. John, Fin, Olivia and myself worked together for 12 years and even though we had our ups and downs we always trusted each other and had each others back, they needed to have mine more times than I needed to have theirs. Also, there will be pop quizzes every day to see how well you 6 understand the case and the marks will count."

They all groaned, causing Elliott to turn his head as he chuckled. He then finished his statement with,

"Everyone of us has been new at one time or another. We just never had anyone who helped make it easier for us. You are about to see the job upclose and personal, some of you may decide this is not for you and others will decide it is where you are suppose to be. Just remember there are no stupid questions only closed minds."

At this point Elliott assigned a recruit to Amanda and one to Nick, he took the last one who was, in his opinion, the weak link of the group. The recruit Chester Wentworth was not really proving to be SVU material but Elliott wanted to give him a fair shot.

Elliott said as he pulled open the storage box he brought with him,

"In this box I have bulletproof vests, you will each get one and are expected to wear it at all times no matter where you are. They identify you as an SVU trainee and things happen fast, John does alot of information gathering in the office here but he too can get called into the streets at any moment so squadroom or not vests are part of the uniform – they are also the only way the Chief would agree to this field trip."

Wentworth like his fellow recruits put on the vest and then said to Elliott,

"Teach, where is your vest?"

Cragen looked at Elliott and chuckled. Elliott pulled out his vest and it had his name on it. He said to Cragen,

"Is the crib in the same place?"

Cragen nodded,

"Why?"

Elliott said as he pulled his button down "baggy" dress shirt out of the box also,

"If I am going to see Bab's it is not going to be with me wearing this shirt, it is a bit too form fitting. I need to change to a baggier shirt."

Olivia, John and Fin started laughing uncontrollably, everyone else in the room just looked. Upon seeing their looks Cragen said trying to control his own laughter,

"Bab's is a gay lady who has the hots really bad for Detective Stabler. She said he could turn her straight if he would give her one night alone with him. So Officer Wentworth you will have to protect your instructor's morals. Don't let her jump him..."

Chester looked scared, Olivia stopped laughing long enough to say,

"Don't worry Chester his backside is safe with me."

Nick who was Olivia's new partner had never seen her so relaxed, almost giddy. Elliot came back from changing his shirt and had put the bulletproof vest on underneath is shirt, not only for the recruits benefits but he was nervous being back in the field after 2 years. He lifted his shirt to show his recruits the vest and said,

"I know Bab's and I know she is not going to shoot me, I don't want her seeing the vest at this point. You 6 it is for insurance and safety reasons."

No one argued, Cragen gave out the assignments for the day and then looked at Nick and said,

"Olivia is with Elliott for the primary interview and we will go from there."

He nodded. And everyone went their separate ways.


	8. At Babs

Elliott and Olivia took their recruits and headed out with Olivia driving to Bab's house. She looked at Elliott and said,

"El, are you okay?"

He had been staring out the window. Her voice brought him back,

"Yeah Liv I am. It has been 2 years...it's just all a little surreal."

Officer Sanchez sat in the back and watched them, she asked,

"Detective Stabler, is it normal to be nervous? And when do we stop being nervous?"

He turned so he could see her as she sat behind Olivia,

"When you retire. Nerves are good, they keep you on your toes. But it helps if you have a really good partner, because that is half the battle."

Officer Wentworth said,

"Teach, you have told us nothing about yourself since this training started, only job stuff. You do realize we are bound to find out things right?"

Elliott turned forward in his seat and said,

"Officer Wentworth you are not the first person to point that fact out to me today. I am more than aware of it."

Olivia looked at him as she pulled into the parking spot in front of Bab's apartment. When they got to her door, Elliott stood back and let Olivia do the knocking, he instructed the recruits to stand on the other side of the door. After the second knock, Bab's answered the door. She looked at Olivia and said,

"Still alone, I see?"

Elliott came into view and Bab's look of relief did not go unnoticed,

"I knew you would come."

She walked into the apartment leaving the door open and the four of them walked in with Elliott at the end who closed the door. The recruits were instructed to stand back as Olivia and Elliott took a seat, Elliott gave Bab's a minute to compose herself as he introduced her to the recruits. She then said as she checked him out front and back,

"I like the goatee. And retirement agrees with you, you look really well rested and much fitter than I remember, can I still interest you in showing me the new and tighter you under the shirt? Although you always were really well built and maintained, you just look better even your butt looks smaller, I am still saving myself for you, if you are interested my offer still stands. You will always be the only man I would consider going completely straight for."

Elliott's cheeks turned red causing Olivia to laugh, seeing him squirming and blushing was new to her and the enjoyment Bab's was getting out of it amused the recruits. One of them said a little to loud,

"I wonder if his cheek shade is part of the today's pop quiz?"

Elliott overheard them, and said as he turned to look at them,

"He is sitting right here, and yes it just might be."

They both went quiet. Bab's looked at Olivia noticing her enjoyment of his squirming and blushing says,

"Why Detective Benson you would be the reason I would stay gay. Just to catch up, have the two of you finally given in to your feelings for each other and consumed your relationship?"

It was Olivia's turn to blush, with Elliot noticing and she said,

"No Bab's we are just working your case and nothing more."

Bab's said to the recruits,

"These two have had the hots big time for each other for, what is it 12 years and they say they have never acted on their feelings. Let this be a lesson to you both while you are young, when you find love let it blossom like a flower, don't treat it like a weed."

Olivia looked at Elliott who cleared his throat and said steering the conversation back to the case,

"Bab's let's talk."

Olivia gave him her thank you look as Bab's told her story. She began,

"I had just left the Lesbestrong offices alone and was looking for a cab..."

Elliott asked,

"You didn't call one before you left the office?"

She shook her head,

"There are usually 3 or 4 at any given time on the street. This is a fairly busy street no matter what time it is. As I was watching for a cab, I was grabbed from behind, a hand was put over my mouth and I was dragged to the lower stairwell. I was pushed up against the wall and he whispered in my ear, 'I have a gun, you scream and you die'. He pushed my dress up my back and processed to assault me, he pushed himself into me..."

She started to cry and Olivia asked,

"Was there anything familiar about his voice or the way he smelt?"

As she got up to get a box of Kleenex she shook her head,

"Not that I can remember. I just closed my eyes and prayed for it to be over. When he finished he told me to keep my back to him and count to 30 before turning around, and then he was gone."

Elliott asked,

"Did you take a look anyway?"

She nodded,

"I counted out loud and saw his reflection in the window of the offices at the bottom of the stairwell. I got a look at him."

Elliott,

"Would you be able to sit with our sketch artist and give us a picture of him?"

Bab's said,

"Yes I would. I do not think I will ever forget him. Every time I close my eyes I see his face and I wake up screaming."

Olivia handed her a business card with a victim's services number on the back of it,

"Bab's here is my card with the number of victim's services on the back, they can help you."

Just as they were finishing there was a knock on the door. Bab's said nervously,

"I am not expecting anyone else, I wonder who that could be."

Olivia said,

"Bab's since you did not have the full rape kit done at the hospital, we have a Doctor who is willing to do it here if you are okay with that..."

Bab's said almost relieved,

"Really?"

Olivia and Elliott both nodded as Elliott got up and said,

"I'll get the door for you."

Bab's nodded and said,

"Alright. Jack Web is still such a gentleman."

Upon opening the door, Dr. Warner was standing there, she was stunted to see Elliott answer the door. She said,

"Wow, Elliott you look great. I did not expect to see you here. Welcome back?"

He smiled and gave the Doctor a small hug. He always really liked her and considered her a friend,

"Good to see you Melinda."

He introduced everyone in the room except for Olivia as they already knew each other. Melinda turned to Bab's and said,

"I promise this will not take long and I will be discreet."

Bab's looked at Melinda and said,

"Wow another pretty one so are you spoken for?"

Elliott chuckled watching Melinda get hit on. She said to Bab's,

"Unfortunately Bab's Elliott is more my type."

As they were leaving, Elliott said,

"I will arrange for a sketch artist tomorrow morning at 10am at the precinct, are you available?"

Bab's nodded,

"Yes. I will be there. I just want my life back and this guy out of my head..."

Bab's said to Olivia,

"Please humour me Olivia. So have you at least seen your partner shirtless?"

As Olivia walked out the door, she could not help herself,

"More than shirtless."

The recruits just looked at each other and then the look on Bab's face as her mouth dropped open, they then looked at Olivia and Elliott who were trying not to laugh, as Elliott said,

"Time for lunch. You want to join us Doc? My treat..."


	9. At the Diner

**A/N: this chapter is a little shorter than I had first expected. I decided to take this story down a different fork in the road, it will meet back up in the center again but this seems necessary...Thank you for the reviews and I am glad you all are enjoying this journey...**

Olivia, Melinda and Elliott sat in a booth by the window. Their recruits sat at the opposite end of the diner so that the 3 friends could talk. After ordering Elliott said to the waitress,

"The 2 over in the corner are with us, so put their meals on my bill please."

She nodded and walked away. Elliott said,

"I know you both have a lot of questions, and I will be more than happy to answer them. So fire away."

Melinda asked,

"What happened after the shooting? All I was told was that you were on administrative leave and then Olivia has a new partner. A few weeks later she tells me you put in your papers and nothing."

Olivia said to him,

"You know that Melinda, Casey, Alex and I go out for lunch all the time. So obviously you are a topic of our conversations. We were all concerned."

Elliott knew all about their friendship. He had mistakenly walked in one of them one night when the conversation revolved around their male coworkers what was behind their zippers. And he walked in right when they were questioning Olivia as to whether or know she had seen his. He blushed at the thought of that night. He looked at both women and said,

"I know. I have walked in on a couple of conversations I wish hadn't."

They both laughed, and Melinda said,

"I remember one in particular and we still do not know the answer to it. Unless..."

Elliott shook his head feeling his cheeks go red,

"No that is really okay."

They both starting laughing uncontrollably. They were obviously enjoying this previously very serious man's discomfort. Elliott said,

"Melinda to answer your question. After the shooting I had a mental meltdown and was diagnosed with PTSD. Dr. Huang got me in touch with Dr. Sabrina Ross and I was in treatment for 12 months and continue to be. She got me to deal with things I never realized were a problem. It was hard and extremely emotionally, but I have to say I am really glad I did it and am in a very happy place now. I have just one more situation to take care of to be completely done."

Their food arrived and as they started to eat, Melinda said to Elliott,

"Did you finally confront your feelings for Olivia? Because I know she has not dealt with her feelings for you?"

As he swallowed a mouthful of food, he looked at Olivia and saw her discomfort with where the conversation was going. He knew she had a lot of questions he also knew she would not deal with them now, and he did not want her too, he wanted to do it either in private or with Sabrina. He said without skipping a beat,

"Actually my feelings for Olivia are the final pieces in my puzzle as Dr. Ross likes to call this."

Melinda said,

"I have read Dr. Ross's books, she is amazing when it comes to PTSD. I have never met her but would love to, I am such a big fan. But I thought she retired?"

Elliott said,

"She did but she owed George Huang a favour when he called her to collect she was more than happy to help me. She told me later that when she saw me that first night she thought I was beyond help, but she never gave up and here I sit. She is with me on this case so I will set up a introduction."

Melinda nodded,

"Excellent. I look forward to it."

Olivia looked at him,

"I have to say you right now are more like the guy I met on our first day as partners, than the guy who left without a word 2 years ago."

Elliott looked at her and there it was he could see the hurt in her eyes and hear it in her voice,

"Liv, 12 years of the unspeakable crimes that we have seen, 2 divorces, all the issues with my kids, I am surprised I did not lose it sooner. Although I have to say, all those years I fought going to therapy, if I knew then what I know now I would have gone sooner and maybe this would not have happened."

Melinda sat and watched 2 of the best people she knew skirt around the elephant in the room. She knew it would not happen today but she hoped that they would rebuild probably the most important relationship either of them ever had. The three friends sat and talked about everything under the sun as they finished their lunches. Just as the waitress came and picked up their empty dishes leaving the bill, the recruits came over to the table and Elliott said,

"Are you ready to get back to work?"

She nodded as he put money on the table for all five lunches. He said to Melinda,

"Come on Melinda we will give you a ride back to the morgue..."  
Recruit Wentworth excited interrupted,

"The morgue. How cool. So you are a coroner? Can we get a tour?"

Melinda, Olivia and Elliott started to laugh. Melinda said,

"Yes I am a coroner and yes you can have a tour."


	10. Points of View

**Olivia's Point of View**

If anyone had told her two days ago she would be seeing him again she would have laughed at them and told them they were crazy. But she should have known that when Bab's had refused to talk to anyone but her and Elliott that someone would make that happen. The thing that totally surprised her was him accepting the offer...

She remembered that day 2 years earlier like it was yesterday, she still remembers how hurt she felt hearing he was putting in his papers from the Captain and not from him. She knew they were more than partners and he proved by his actions that he felt the same way, but he walked away like it was nothing and without a word, no goodbye. As time went by and her calls to him fell on deaf ears, her hurt turned to anger. Every time she looked at his empty desk she felt more hurt and anger, she would try to make herself believe that he was just off recuperating from getting shot or some other injury and one day she would walk in and he would greet her with his coy smile and his usual 'Morning Liv'. But days turned into weeks, weeks turned into months, months turned into years and her anger at him leaving her did not change, but she did. She kept her distance not getting close to anyone because she could not handle anymore anger or hurt. He was the longest relationship with a man she had ever had and even though he was married for most of their partnership she spent more time with him than he did with his wife. Even though she would never say it out loud and if her thoughts were overheard she would deny it, but she was in love with him. She knew that she used him as her subconscious guide to what she wanted in a man and every man she dated never measured up, they weren't him.

Seeing him at the academy and hearing him speak should have made her so happy, she was glad he was okay, but it just fuelled her anger and hurt even more. She should be happy that he had gotten help, but all she kept thinking about was _'what about me?'._ She remembered after the Gitano case when she and Elliott were sitting in the hospital and he had said, '_I know if the sniper hadn't beaten you to it, you would_ _have taken the shot.' _She remembered how floored she was that he actually thought she would take a shot that could kill him. But the only words he spoke that ever stuck with her were, _'you and this job are about all that I have left. I don't want to wreck that. I couldn't take it.' _Those words stuck with her because they clarified to her that she was not on a one way street with her feelings.

Since seeing him and now having to work with him, they were never alone, she wanted to confront him she had questions she wanted answers. His leaving had changed him, but it had also changed her. Her world had changed in ways she was not prepared for, she lost more than a partner that day she lost her best friend in the world.

Now he was back, and not alone, which she thought was interesting she knew him well enough to know he hated conflict and would put off talking to her long enough to let them get back into sync while working this case so that when they did talk it would be just an innocent conversation but no matter how long it took, she wanted answers which she had every intention of getting...

**Elliott's Point of View**

He knew as soon as he saw her in the amphitheatre that she was both surprised and relieved to see him, he figured more so that he was okay. He knew she had tried to call him and he figured she would have gone looking for him but he was so out of it that if she had found him he would not have been any good. He knew she would be hurt that he walked away without a word, no goodbye, but he couldn't he had no words to describe what she meant him after all those years, no words he was willing to say outloud and actually have to admit. She had helped him through so much over the years, his marriage, his kids, the job – of all the things he walked away from she was the hardest.

When he saw her up close he noticed how tired she looked, she was still very beautiful – her hair was longer but her eyes were so much older, so much tireder than he remembered, they did not have the spark they use to. He wondered if he had done that her, he hoped not but knew deep down that he probably was the reason for it.

In therapy Sabrina had him talk about his childhood, which he had buried so far away it was almost like a story he had been told. She made him tell her about the abuse his dad put him through and his mom's bipolar. She made him confront the real reason he became a police officer. She made him confront his feelings for Kathy, his dissolved marriage, his relationship with his kids, becoming a new dad in his late 40s. His relationship with his work partners Dave and his first female partner Jo Marlowe. Then she made him talk about Olivia, she asked him why he stayed so long in SVU 16 years 14 years above the average. Sabrina had made him answer the tough questions, but he knew Olivia had even tougher questions.

He knew Olivia would be hurt, angry and looking for answers. He knew he had to give them to her but he was not in any hurry. He figured that as the case progressed and they got back to their normal rhythm her anger would lessen and when they did have their talk it would not be a blow out scream fest. He also knew that Olivia knew him well enough to know that he would try and put it off as long as possible but he knew her well enough to know she was not about to let that happen.

For some reason this made him smile...


	11. Back at the Precinct

Sabrina was talking to George and answering questions from John about some of her books in the squad room when Elliott and Olivia returned from lunch and Chester's tour of the morgue. Elliott filled everyone in on the information Bab's had given them, including the description of the man responsible, she did not know who he was as she had never seen him before but she did agree to come in and work with a sketch artist in the morning. Everyone else filled in other pieces of the puzzle, by the time they were done it was 4:00 pm. Elliott looked at his recruits and said,

"Okay class time for your pop quiz. Let's go into interrogation room one. Follow me."

He looked at Sabrina, she said,

"We can talk when you get done."

The two recruits smirked at each other. Cragen noticed as Olivia just laughed and went back to the papers on her test, not noticing that Nick and Amanda were staring at her as Elliott walked away. John said,

"Do I need to start the pool again?"

Olivia just smirked and shook her head. She finally felt back to normal and even safe because her old partner was back. John went to Olivia and quietly said,

"Welcome back. I've missed you as much as you've missed him. Maybe all will be right with the world, at least til this case is over. Besides now there is no barrier of the job stopping you two from being completely together."

She looked up at John and said quietly,

"Let's not get ahead of ours here. He and I have not even had a chance to talk or clear the air yet."

John nodded and said,

"I hope you two can work through this because I always thought you two should be together."

She always loved John's honesty and candour, she squeezed the hand he had put on her shoulder as he quietly whispered in her ear. Fin noticed and said louder,

"I second whatever Munch is telling you."

Cragen called Olivia into his office, as she entered he said,

"Close the door, Liv."

Liv was a nickname Elliott started and everyone else picked it up. She looked at her Captain,

"What's up Captain?"

He smiled and said as he looked over at Sabrina,

"Welcome back. I forgot the way he makes you smile."

She nodded, as he continued,

"Have you two had any opportunity to talk yet?"

Olivia shook her head,

"Not yet. There hasn't been a time or place yet."

Cragen said,

"I hope you make the time and find the place. Doc Ross here wants to talk to you."

She looked at Sabrina and then back at him,

"Captain?"

He shook his head and said,

"Talk to the Doc here and I will answer after."

Olivia nodded and looked at Sabrina,

"How can I help you Dr. Ross?"

Sabrina said,

"Since you are going to get sick of my face around here, call me Sabrina. How was Elliott out in the field today? Should I be going with him or are you okay with him alone?"

She hesitated, Sabrina noticed and said,

"I am here for him and ultimately you so all I ask for is honesty. You have no idea how far he has come and how many hurdles have been jumped. I need to know he is okay. And you know him better than anyone. Your opinion matters or I would not be asking for it."

She said,

"He was really nervous, but once we got to Bab's he was okay. I just can not get over how different he is and how relaxed he is. Calm and he blushes so easily its hilarious and unnerving at the same time. Bab's is coming in tomorrow morning around 10 am to work with our sketch artist with Elliott, you will get to see up-close and personal if you are here. But do I think he is okay? Right now yes, ask me again as the case progresses."

Sabrina said,

"Fair enough. Thank you for answering my questions. And how are you with him being back?"

Olivia looked at Cragen and hesitated,

"I am okay..."

Cragen looked at her,

"Honestly Liv please."

She sighed deeply,

"I am still pissed at him for walking away without a word, I know what he said in his speech but I know him well enough to know he is going to use you, Sabrina and his recruits as a reason to not confront my questions until he thinks I am no longer pissed at him and it becomes a matter of fact conversation."

Sabrina and Cragen looked at each other smirking. Sabrina said,

"I figured he might try and go that route. You do not plan on letting him do you?"

Olivia shook her head,

"Hell no. I won't embarrass him or myself but this is bigger than both of us and I don't plan on letting him time his way out of the conversation."

Sabrina nodded,

"I am beginning to see why you two made such great partners. I want to be there for your conversation. But I think the sooner the better is best."

Cragen nodded and said,

"I think so too. Since he is in Interrogation 1 with his class doing a pop quiz, I think that once he is done and the room is empty there would be no better time."

Sabrina looked at Cragen and said,

"I agree but first I am going to listen in and then do his debrief. Then your turn Olivia."

Cragen looked at Olivia who said,

"Ok no problem. Talk to you shortly."

Sabrina left the office and headed for the interrogation room. Once the door was closed Olivia looked at her Captain and said,

"You have something to say Captain?"

He said,

"Liv remember when the two of you went for Psyche evaluations when you found your brother and I thought you two were too close because you were covering for each other. The therapist told me you two were abnormally close and when I told her I would split you she said,_ 'Only if you want to lose your best two detectives'_ . She explained to me that you two trust each other more than any married couple and that you worked as one and not as individuals. And that breaking you up would hurt the squad more than keeping you together. She also said that you two were not sleeping together, although she figured if you could get away with it you would have. During the past 2 years I have watched first hand what would have happened if I had split you up and I am glad I didn't. You both have a second chance not many people get them, use it wisely."

She was stunned but said,

"Thank you Captain."


	12. An Unknown Threat

**A/N: this part will be done in bold italic to show the difference**

_**He remembered that day 10 years ago like it was yesterday, he was 12 year old boy who was found hiding in a closet after his mother was killed. He remembered the nice detectives who came in and found him, they promised to look out for him. The male detective had taken a special interest in him, he could tell he was a father and had a lot of experience with kids. The female detective was just as empathic she had gotten him into a foster home, through the course of his mom's trial the detectives were there for him all the way through and he thought he would always remember them for the good detectives he thought they were. **_

_**After the trial they kept in touch for the first 6 months and then nothing after that. They had given him their business cards in case he needed anything but he never called. Not even after all the bad things started happening and his life was threatened if he talked. He just kept quiet and wondered why they stopped caring.**_

_**He followed their careers through the newspaper, and on television. He would see a glimpse of one or the other sometimes both during a news report on a rape or child abducts, and he would silently scream 'don't trust them'. Two years ago, on his 21**__**st**__** birthday when he was ready to confront them about their lies, they split as partners, he left the force with no forwarding address and she got a new partner. He watched her from a distance but wanted them both, her and her old partner, not just one of them. **_

_**He figured if he joined the force he would become one of them and it would open more doors and opportunities for his revenge. As he sat at the back of his first SVU training class with the 11 other recruits he looked around and when he turned his sight to the front of the room his eyes saw him, he had a full goatee and he was much more muscular than he remembered but his voice was the same as he heard him say,**_

_**"**__**Good morning Recruits and welcome to your first day of training on your way to becoming Special Victims Unit detectives. My name is Elliott Stabler and I am a retired Special Victims Unit Detective. We will be spending the next year together so let's get started."**_

_**This was not what he expected, but he got what he needed...**_


	13. In the Interrogation Room

Elliott had just finished in the pop quiz with his recruits and as he suspected they all passed and were right on the ball. What surprised him was how on the ball and excited they all were with being on an actual case. He had fielded a few questions from them after the pop quiz but he also asked them how their experiences were with his fellow detectives. As he listened to them talk about what they did that day he looked around at each of them and marvelled in their excitement. Once they were all done, Elliott said,

"Okay that is it for today. It has been a long day, now I know you are all happy with your trainers at this point but for full exposure I am going to rotate you each out so that you will each be shadowing me for a day. So every sixth day you will be with me, which means Chester you will be the rotating recruit, you will get to work with all the detectives. Are you okay with that?"  
He nodded,

"That means I get the most exposure."

Elliott nodded,

"Yes and no. Because John is the only detective that stays in the squad room most of the time because he is Sargent and second in command. Every other detective is on the streets, now some of you might fall into other cases just because I am not sure how the Captain is going to work this but no matter what, you will all have contact with me throughout this whole time."

He looked around the room,

"Any questions?"

Recruit Marlow asked,

"Will you only be working with Detective Benson or are you on rotation also?"

He shrugged,

"Well I was only with Detective Benson for the initial interview with Ms. Duffy but I assume I will be working with whoever is free at the time depending on where we are in the investigation. Any other questions?"

They all shook their heads. He concluded,

"Okay then. I will see all of you here tomorrow morning at 8 am. Have a good night, get some sleep you will need it."

With that they opened the door and walked out, Elliott was the last to leave and as he was leaving Sabrina walked in and said,

"Time to debrief."

He turned around and walked back into the room behind her and closed the door. After the door was closed, Dr. Ross said,

"So how is your day going?"

He offered her a seat and he sat down,

"Actually really well. I made it through Bab's interview and hit on session. John and Fin have been great about me coming back to help out, the two new detectives I have no opinion on as we really have not spoken. The recruits are doing good, they all just passed their first pop quiz and they are really paying attention to what they are learning. As for Olivia..."

He looked at the Doc knowing full well this was what she was concerned about but did not want to push the issue,

"As for Olivia, we had lunch with Doc Warner, who came to Bab's house and did the rest of her rape kit, which did not leave us any time to talk alone."

Dr. Ross said,

"Well knowing you as well as I do, you are hoping the alone time will be after this case so it will be done as an after thought?"

Elliott laughed and said,

"You know me far to well Sabrina."

Sabrina smiled and continued,

"By the way, I asked her how you made out today, and she said good. So tomorrow should be better. As for tomorrow I will be coming here at 10am to see you with Bab's as she looks at mug shots and works with the sketch artist."

Elliott laughed,

"The office doc hits the field. Wear something loose fitting, unless you are looking to get hit on."

They both laughed, Sabrina said,

"I just want to see you in action with a victim. After that if all is good, I am going to take the weekend off and go to my cabin. I am leaving tomorrow night and will be back on Sunday night. I will be in my office Monday morning if you need me. George will be on call if you need anything, I will also let you know a time for our get together."

Elliott nodded, he hugged her lightly and said,

"Thanks for everything, now I am hungry and tired."

Before she opened the door, she said,

"By the way, that talk you need to have with Olivia is happening now. By her request."

Elliott took a deep breath, he was not ready for this. As he sat back in his chair he looked at Sabrina and said,

"I don't think I can do this right now..."

Olivia opened the door as he said this and responded,

"That is too bad Stabler we are doing this now..."


	14. And So They Talk

As Olivia closed the door Elliott watched her. He knew her better than anyone else and he knew by the look in her eyes she was a mix of angry and hurt, he looked at Sabrina who said,

"You both have said you wanted me here, if that has changed please say so."

Olivia looked at her and said,

"I thought it would be a good idea for you to be here but I think we need to do this on our own."

Sabrina headed for the door and said,

"Absolutely no problem. I will be watching through the window in case we need to call an ambulance, but I promise I will not turn on the intercom. It will be just you two."

Elliott went to say something to her but Sabrina was out the door before he could. Once outside the door Sabrina saw George watching through the window as she turned off the intercom, he said,

"Why did you turn it off?"

"Because I told them I would..." As she watched she said matter of factly, "Do not need sound when I can read lips."

George snickered.

Back in the room, Elliott stood up from the chair and looked at Olivia, he said,

"I am sorry about the way I left. I never intentionally meant to hurt you."

She looked him square in the eye and said,

"But you did. Why did you walk away? You did not have to leave IAB cleared you, you could have come back."

He shook his head,

"No I could not have come back. As soon as the bullet left the barrel of my gun I knew I was done. IAB clearing me just allowed me to get my pension..."

Olivia interrupted letting her anger show through,

"But **WHY** walk away without a word? You were my partner, my best friend did that not mean anything?"

Elliott looked at her and for the first time really saw the hurt he had caused her,

"I walked away because I had too. Liv sit down and I will try to explain."

She sat down and he turned his chair to face her before sitting. He said,

"Do you remember about 3 years into our partnership, I was having a rough day and you stopped me outside the elevators and asked what was going on and I sat on the window sill and told you that Kathy was upset that I was not talking to her about my day at work, and that every case we get is worse than the last one?"

She nodded. He continued,

"That is when things changed for me. Every case from then on ate away at my soul, I saw my kids in the child victims we dealt with, I saw myself in the abused kids since my father was abusive. I saw bits of my life in almost every scenario, I found myself getting angrier and angrier all the time. I even tried therapy a few times..." He saw her raise her eyebrows in surprise, "Yeah me, the guy who hated talking to shrinks actually went to one, did it help? To a point but you and I dealt with so much over he past decade..." He started to get emotional, he looked at her as his eyes watered. She had only seen him cry twice in 12 years, once when Gitano had a gun to his head and the other when he told her that Kathy was filing for divorce the first time. He continued,

"We dealt with so much that I thought no amount of therapy would help. And too add to the issue my feelings for you. Remember when you found your brother and helped him, you and I were forced into therapy by Cragen because he thought we were too close and the therapist asked me '_if I had to make a choice between saving a member of the public and saving my partner who would I save?' _I said '_I made that mistake once when I saved my partner.'_ I told her what her wanted to hear but if the truth be told I would have always saved you first and Jenna is prove of that. When she pointed the gun at you I shot her before she shot you. I figured I could live with shooting a child and saving you easier than not taking the shot and you dying because I didn't. I could not live with being the reason you died if I had done nothing."

His tears rolled, as did hers. She said,

"Gitano in reverse all over again. A complete circle."

He nodded.

"You chose me over Gitano. I chose you over Jenna."

She said,

"But that was not the same thing. Gitano was a killer and he had a little girl hostage..."

He interrupted her,

"No matter how I look at it, they are both the same."

He said,

"I walked away without a word because I had no words."

She pushed,

"How hard was it to say goodbye or see you later?"

He shrugged,

"When I left the squad after being suspended. I went home and locked myself in my apartment for a couple of days. I was in shock. Dr. Huang called me I never answered the phone, you and Cragen called me I never answered." He looked at her and said, "I should not say this but Munch showed up at my door with a pizza, he left it outside the door with a note, 'no words needed. Just call if you need us.'

I never told anyone, but I did know that Munch, Fin and the Captain would take care of you so in my mind you were not alone and did not need me."

She said tearfully,

"You don't get it, I have always needed you. You and I are more than partners, you are my best friend, you are my longest male relationship. Why not give me a chance to be there for you like you have been for me?"

He shook his head,

"Because I was in shock and I was not ready to deal with my feelings for you. I just knew that they were stronger than I realized and knowing I could kill to save you scared me."

She gasped and asked,

"Elliott do you have any idea how I feel about you? I mean really feel about you?"

He looked at her and said,

"And that there is the big elephant standing between us."

She looked at him strangely, he said,

"Probably the same way I feel about you."

She asked directly,

"How do you feel about me?"

He sighed and stood up. He walked around the plain green room that he had sweated perps in before, the same room his son, Richard had asked Olivia, '_So Detective have you ever slept with your partner?' She answered,'never'. _The same room where one of Janis Young's personalities Dory asked him as she looked from his zipper up to his eyes, _'Where do you keep your gun?' he flirted back and said, 'in my locker' she flirted, 'can I see it?' He flirted, 'tell me where April is and I will show you my gun.'_ He smiled as he remembered the amused looks on Olivia and Dr. Huang's faces as they watched the exchange. He turned back to Olivia and looking her directly in the eye he said,

"I am head over heels in love with you, and I have been for years."

She looked at him, stood up and punched him as hard as she could. She hit him in the stomach causing him to double over in pain. He coughed and sputtered,

"Hey what the hell?"

She looked at him with her hands on her hips and said,

"You are head over heels in love with me but you walk away saying nothing? How do you expect me to believe that?"

He asked as he rubbed his abs,

"When did you start working out with the Olympic boxing team?"

Shot him a look, as he said,

"I know I hurt you and I want to make it up to you. Why did I walk away without a word? How do I say good by to the love of my life? And how can you believe I am in love with you? Give me a chance to show you, let my actions speak."

She cried and said,

"Do you know how long I have wanted to hear you say those words? This is not how I imagined it would happen. Your leaving like you did hurt me so bad, because I am IN love with you." She turned her back to him and headed for the door. He grabbed her arm and stopped her, saying,

"Don't leave like this. We got this far let's finish. We need a clean place to start from I don't want any of the past clouding our future. If once we are done you still want to walk away than I will not stop you."

She turned to look at him and said,

"How can I trust that you won't walk away again?"

He looked her in the eyes and said,

"Liv, I am not the same man who walked away two years ago. You have been to the depths of hell with me, and you never waivered despite the fact I have given you reason to doubt me please give me a chance to show you your faith in me was not misplaced."

She hesitated. He took a chance and put his arms around her and said,

"The only thing stopping us from moving forward is us. I have no distractions or other relationships..."

Then it dawned on him maybe she did. He kept his arms around her so she could not punch him again and cautiously asked,

"Are you seeing anyone right now?"

She pondered the question and was going to make something up but said,

"No I am not seeing anyone. What about Kathy?"  
He let out a small sigh of relief, as he answered,

"Kathy met a banker with literally bankers hours. She has been seeing him for 8 months I think she may end up marrying him."

She pulled away from him and looked in his eyes and said,

"And you are okay with that?"

He laughed,

"I am more than okay him. Jeff is a good guy and he is good to Eli. The other kids are all gone but they are super protective of Eli. Besides Kathy is a good judge of character and she would never put Eli in harms way."

For the first time she returned his hug and whispered in his ear,

"Welcome back."

Elliott looked from her lips to her eyes, she knew exactly what he was thinking and met his gaze, she said, as she nodded her head towards the two way glass,

"We are not alone. Unless the new you is an exhibitionist."

_**As he listened to their exchange he wondered, how welcome are you going to be Detective Benson when you find out what I have planned for your Detective Stabler?**_


	15. At the Restaurant

Elliott could hear his stomach growling, he looked down at Olivia and said,

"You hungry, Liv?"

She said,

"Actually I am. The recruits gone home?"

He nodded and then knocked on the 2 way glass as they walked out the door. Olivia grabbed his hand, Sabrina said,

"No bloodshed, so things went better than I thought."

Olivia saw George and said to them both,

"It could have gone either way. Besides I was aiming for his nose."

They all laughed.

He headed back to the squadroom, the other detectives were there, Elliott said,

"Guys and Gals, I want to thank all of you for being so good to my students, they are really impressed with all of you. My plan was to move them around to work with every one of you, but I have been asked by a couple of them if they can all get a chance to go out in the field with me. I have agreed and thing it is a good idea so what I will do is my guy Chester will rotate out with each of your recruits so each person gets at least one day with me."

John said,

"So the pop quiz went good?"

Elliott nodded,

"Yes it did. I was very impressed with what they picked up."

John then said,

"As for dinner tonight, I took it upon myself to get a reservation at our favourite restaurant for 6:30 so that we all can catch up."

Olivia looked at Elliott, who nodded and said,

"Great idea. Did you invite the Captain?"

Cragen came out,

"Absolutely, I would love to join you all. I think it is a great idea. I invited Doc Ross but she said she already had plans she took a rain check."

Sabrina said as she walked in,

"I was actually able to change my plans so I can join you tonight if the offer still stands?"

John said,

"Absolutely. You are a honorary one of us."

She smiled,

"Thank you. I appreciate that."

Elliott excused himself as he headed up to the crib to take off his vest and change his shirt. Fin asked Olivia,

"Did you get the air cleared and all your questions answered?"

She nodded,

"Yes. We will be fine."

"And we have the real Olivia Benson back?"

She put her arm on Fin's shoulder and said quietly,

"Yes and thank you for being such a good friend."

He just smiled,

"No thanks needed."

They all got ready, Nick bowed out as he needed to get home for his kids. Amanda had a date and asked for a rain check. As they left, Alex, Casey and Melinda showed up, John had invited them also. Melinda's husband was on an overnight camping trip with their kids so she was alone. The only person who had not seen Elliott was Casey but Alex and Melinda had told her he looked good. Sabrina had gone to the washroom in the crib to freshen up and said to Elliott,

"Are you really okay?"

He nodded his head,

"Yes I am. Actually I wish I had done this sooner."

He was straightening his suit jacket out as Sabrina stuck a package in his pocket. He looked at her strangely. She said,

"Just a welcome to your new life gift. Use it wisely."

He stuck his hand into his pocket pulling out the gift. He looked at it and than at her and said,

"Well, well who knew my doctor has a sense of humour."

Elliott and Sabrina came downstairs from the crib, when Casey saw him she said,

"Wow you look great with a goatee, and so well rested."

He smiled and laughed. He said as he gave her a hug,

"You look great Casey. So glad you are coming with us for dinner."

Then he turned to Sabrina and said,

"Sabrina there are a couple of people who you have not met yet. Dr. Sabrina Ross this is ADA Casey Novack and our coroner Dr. Melinda Warner. Casey, Melinda met Dr. Sabrina Ross, she is my therapist."

Sabrina said, as she shook their hands,

"Please just call me Sabrina. I am not big on formalities.

Elliott stood and looked at all the people who he considered friends and who cared about him, this friendship and feeling apart of something bigger was what he missed but at the same time he knew he could never come back full time, which he realized was okay with him. They all grabbed their coats and at John's coaxing they headed to the restaurant, he had booked a private room off the main eating area for them so they could visit in private, yet if anyone wanted to dance they could go outside the room for that.

**At the restaurant**

The restaurant was a block away from the Precinct so they walked to it, as Olivia and Elliott walked in sync with each other, Olivia slid her hand into Elliott's and he accepted it. Her hand felt like it belonged there, Elliott smiled at her – Alex walked beside Olivia and said,

"I have really missed you two together."

Casey and Melinda said almost at the same time,

"So have I." causing everyone to laugh.

They were like a bunch of teenagers out for a night on the town. They arrived at the restaurant and John took over, the hostess took them to the private room where there was a table for 12 set. There was a small bar set up with a private bartender, they ordered drinks Elliott looked at Olivia and said,

"Still red wine?"

She nodded. He let go of her hand as she went to talk to Alex, who leaned in and said,

"So you two have talked?"

She nodded,

"Yes. In interrogation 1, seemed sort of fitting."

Alex said,

"And he willingly answered all your questions?"

Olivia nodded,

"Yes. He is so much calmer now, he really is happy."

Alex asked,

"And are you?"

Olivia looked at Elliott as he waited for the wine and chatted with Fin,

"I never expected this day to happen and now that it has I am glad I had no preconceived notions. He and I are going to be fine, we are in a good place."

She looked back at Olivia and said,

"Meaning?"

Olivia felt like a schoolgirl telling her first love story,

"We are on the same page of the same book."

The lawyer in her wanted to know more, but the friend in her knew that Olivia would open up when she was comfortable. She said causing Olivia to laugh,

"About time I would say. It has only been 12 years."

Elliott came back with the wine, he handed it to her as Alex said,

"You know I really like the goatee Elliott. How long have you had it?"

He blushed, he was not good with compliments,

"18 months. I grew it because I thought I was getting away from myself, but ended up really liking it."

Fin came over and handed Alex a scotch and soda. He said,

"It has been an exciting day. But Elliott I do have a question about something you said at the academy today. Are your days in SVU really over?"

Elliott nodded,

"Yes. I learned a lot about myself through therapy, I lost a lot of myself in this job because I cared too much and the real reason I joined SVU got lost. But I can do more good at the academy teaching the job than actually doing it."

Melinda joined them,

"So you are enjoying teaching?"

He nodded,

"I actually am. Don't get me wrong, I would never give up or change the active years I have but I am where I am suppose to be at this point. I want a relatively normal life, I get to see Eli a lot more than I saw my other 4 kids. I am getting a do over in some ways and that I like."

Cragen said,

"You have an updated picture of Eli?"

He laughed, as he pulled out his wallet and took out this year's school picture, he handed it to the Captain who passed it around,

"Of course."

They all commented on how cute he was considering how much he looked like Elliott. He laughed,

"Well now I am at the right precinct."

The hostess came in and said to John,

"Anytime you are ready just let us know. I have left menus on the table."

John said,

"Thank you. Give us a couple of minutes."

Elliott said,

"I am starving let's order."

They all sat down and grabbed a menu and ordered. Elliott sat beside Olivia, Fin sat beside Alex, Casey sat beside Melinda who sat beside Sabrina, leaving John and Cragen to seat together. They sat 4 on one side of the table and 4 on the other side. The waitress came in and took their orders, just as she was finishing, Dr. Huang came in and joined them, he took a menu and ordered right away – the bartender came to the table and took his drink order. John said,

"Glad you could join us Doc."

They all sat there talking sharing a lot of memories, as they recounted their first days. They all asked Elliott a ton of questions, Melinda laughed at how each of the detectives had gotten sick at one time or another over a dead body, Olivia said laughing at her story of Elliott,

"I am so glad you are telling this before we eat."

They all laughed. Elliott said,

"My favourite memories are when we went above and beyond, like when Melinda you helped me on the case with the young girl with cancer, when you stayed at their apartment and then rode the drop off car with me in the trunk so we could save the girl."

Fin said,

"My favourite will always be Bab's, hands down. What did she call you? Assy McBig Pants?"

Elliott laughed. Olivia said,

"Even today she was trying to get him naked."

They all laughed. Elliott said,

"You know I might just give her a show after this is all done."

He felt Olivia's eyes on him and he said looking innocently at her,

"Well only if it is okay with you Liv."

The whole table erupted into laughter, including Elliott and Olivia. Casey noticing the closeness between Elliott and Olivia said,

"What did I miss between you two?"

Elliott looked around the table that had gotten very quiet and then at Olivia and said,

"Well, Olivia and I had a chance to talk and clear the air. We are on the same page about our relationship."

John said,

"But are you in the same chapter of the same book?"

Olivia laughed,

"Yes we are."

Looking over his glasses, John said,

"So I need to start the pool again huh?"

Elliott started to blush, he shook his head as Olivia said,

"And this is why I love John."

They all laughed. While they sat and talked Olivia heard her favourite song come on in the main restaurant, she looked at Elliott and said,

"That is my favourite song, do you want to dance?'

Elliott looked at Olivia kind of sheepishly and said,

"I would but I don't know how, I guess I will have to get my kids to teach me how to dance."

Fin laughed,

"Maybe Bab's can teach you how."

The whole table laughed. The appetizers came and they all dug in, everyone sampling a little of everything. Once the appetizer dishes were cleared and their main course came. Surprisingly there was no shop talk at all, Elliott asked Fin,

"So when did you and Alex start dating?"

Fin looked at Alex and said,

"A year ago. We went out for a drink, started talking and realized we had a lot in common. I asked her out and one thing let to another, and here we are."

Alex said, as she put her hand on Fin's,

"I am a lucky lady."

Olivia said to Alex,

"Alex do you remember that conversation we had one night in your office about shoe size and other things? Is it right?"

Alex's cheeks turned bright red, and she said,

"Once you find out and can answer that same question I will answer yours."

They both laughed. They continued to swap stories and John shared some of his conspiracy stories with them. They finished eating and had coffee with their dessert. Once they were done, Elliott looked for the bill, none came. He excused himself to go to the washroom in the main dining room, he stopped at the hostess station and said,

"I want to pay for everything in there tonight including all tips."

The hostess said,

"The bill has already been taken care of."

_**More than the bill will be taken care of soon enough...**_


	16. At Olivia's Apartment

**A/N: THANK YOU FOR THE REVIEWS. I AM GLAD YOU ARE ALL ENJOYING THIS JOURNEY. **

As soon as Olivia opened the door, Elliott realized nothing had changed, it was like time stood still. He walked in behind her and closed the door. She said,

"That was fun tonight, John had a great idea."

He said,

"It was fun, I went to pay for the evening and the hostess said it was taken care of, but wouldn't say by who."

Olivia smiled,

"I saw John give his credit card to the hostess as I was walking in the door. He is a good guy."

Elliott nodded,

"I have to agree. We will have to thank him in the morning."

Olivia looked past him to the door and said,

"Lock the door please. Unless you don't plan on staying."

He turned to lock the door but before he did he asked,

"Are you sure? We can move slow if you want."

She put her arms around his neck and said,

"I think 14 years is slow enough. I am more than sure, are you?"

He hesitated, this had become very real, very fast and he was nervous. She said,

"What is it?"

He said, getting a little embarrassed,

"Well being that I am a good Catholic boy and have only really been with Kathy I am not the most worldly guy despite having 5 kids..."

She said,

"What about that nice tech in the FBI you took out a few times? The one you asked for a favour and she asked when she would hear from you again?"

He was amazed at her memory and said,

"I only went out with her a couple of times, they are what my kids call 'release dates'. Form doesn't count."

She laughed but got where he was going. She was in the same situation, she watched as he took off his shoes and coat, she liked watching him undress she remembered the first time she saw him take his shirt off in front of her in the crib after he had lifted weights, his wide hairless chest thick with muscle his crucifix tattoo, his tight well muscled abs. She would never admit it but she always saw that sight whenever she looked at him. Her memory was interrupted as he took her in his arms, he looked from her lips to her eyes and back again, she put her arms around his neck and looked at his lips and then his eyes, he leaned in and kissed her and as their lips met she was shocked by how soft they were as she kissed him back she touched her tongue to his lips. He felt her hesitate at the same time as he felt her tongue on his lips. He pulled away and said,

"No pressure. We do only what you are comfortable with. No more no less."

She touched her forehead to his chin and said quietly,

"This is our first time together. And..."

She looked at him,

"I am suddenly very nervous."

He suddenly realized he was too, and said,

"So am I. I have waited 14 years, 1 wife, tons of therapy and a new job for this night and I want it to be right. No rushing, I want this to be memorable for both of us."

She took his hand and lead him to the couch, he sat down and she sat beside him facing him and said,

"I have fantasized about what this night would be like. Have you?"

He sighed and nodded his head,

"Absolutely. Every night as a matter of fact."

He hesitated and she said,

"Really?"

He started to blush, she said,

"That bad or that good?"

He said,

"When I was at to the inpatient therapy centre, I had a private room, and the first few weeks I was there I slept a lot. Dr. Ross would come and check on me. When I was in my 6th week I was sleeping more regular, you know 8 hours instead of 20, Dr. Ross would have one on one sessions with me everyday and part of the treatment was telling her my dreams. At first I would lie and make up stories or say I didn't remember and she never questioned it, until 2 weeks later she called me on my stories and showed me a video she had taken of me sleeping. There was sound and I was clearly moaning your name. Dr. Ross said that you were more important to me than she thought, especially since it was very clear to her that I was dreaming about you sexually."

His cheeks got really red and he tried to look away from Olivia but she moved closer and pulled his face back facing her. He took a deep breath inhaling her lavender scent, what drew him to her from the start from how she came across so tough yet was also so very feminine. He continued,

"In the tape I heard myself calling your name, and my voice was raspy, and not from sleep. It was one of my more vivid recurring fantasies about us together it was an amazing one that is probably why I kept having it. And it never changed much over the past 12 years..."

Olivia said,

"Show me, make it real."

He was surprised that she was not upset about him dreaming about her in such an intimate way, he was even more surprised when she looked at him and said,

"I'm game, are you?"

She looked up into his eyes and then at his lips. She leaned in for a kiss, he kissed her back. She pulled away and looked into his eyes again, she parted her lips as she moved in for another kiss and as she touched his lips with her tongue he returned the favour and the intimacy started..

_**As he stood looking through his high powered telescope he smiled at what he saw...**_

She always knew he took care of his body, she loved the softness of his lips but she loved how good he tasted in her mouth even more. He pulled away and looked at her. She said,

"You okay?"

He nodded and patted the top of his legs,

"Please straddle me."

She did as she faced him she loosened his tie not undoing the knot because she had no idea if he could tie a tie. In her experience, many men couldn't and once tied left them that way, she loosened it enough so that she could pull it over his head which she did. He watched her as she removed his tie, he pulled her blouse out of her pants and touched her soft bare skin that it hid. As she started to undo his shirt he moved his hands up to the clasp on her bra and undid it, he trailed his fingers along her back and sides to just under the front of her breasts pulling her blouse completely out of her slacks. He finished unbuttoning her blouse just as she was opening his shirt, she ran her hands over his chest which now had a light coat of dark hair going from the top of his chest into the top of his pants. She stopped for a minute looking at his chest and then into his eyes. She said,

"I never suspected you were a shaver?"

He looked down at his chest and chuckled. He said,

"It wasn't me, Kathy did it she liked me hairless. I haven't touched it since we divorced. Do you want it smooth too?"

She shook her head, she was actually pleased that she was getting him naturally and not his exwife's version. She said,

"I actually like a guy with hair on his chest. Please leave it."

He nodded as she removed her blouse and bra, allowing him a full and very sexy view, he took each perfect orb in his hands and kissed them, causing her to moan. She arched her back to allow him complete access, and he took it allowing his tongue to circle her nubs til they swelled causing her breasts to thicken. The more he played with her breasts the deeper her breathing got and so did his, he felt her start rocking back and forth on his lap, he shifted under her so that his hardening member would be directly under her rocking. As he shifted she raised herself up stroking the outer edges of his ears he gasped and groaned as her light touch sent sensations through his body that he had never felt before, once he was in position he put his hands on her waist and pulled her down on top of his bulging member, she smiled as she felt him directly under her core. She rocked again only harder and faster, his breathing quickened with hers. She rocked herself to orgasm, as she screamed in ecstasy, he lifted her up with him as he got off the couch and took her to the bedroom kissing her as they went. As they walked by his jacket he removed his lips from hers and said,

"Beautiful, grab my coat and bring it with us."

She did and he lay her on the bed. He stood up, took his jacket and pulled out the package that Sabrina had put in it for him. Olivia looked at him funny when he showed her,

"Sabrina slid this in my pocket earlier today, I guess she figured I would not think about getting any."

She smiled, and said,

"I didn't think that with you..."

He said shyly,

"With what you and I have seen over the past few years. I started using them when I left Kathy, especially considering I needed to teach my kids to be safe and protected. Besides I would not have gotten any because I did not see tonight happening in my crystal ball."

She reached for his hand and pulled him to her on the bed saying,

"Well we will have to thank her with a bottle of wine."

_**He followed them to the bedroom door and silently cursed, as he lost sight of them. 'Enjoy your night Detectives'...**_


	17. Elliott's Dream

Sabrina had wanted Elliott to talk about his real feelings, not to embarrass him but to help him come to grips with what he he had seen, how he felt and to help him know he was normal, the problem was the Catholic boy in him was extremely uncomfortable talking about his feelings, the one thing he was excellent at was compartmentalizing his feelings. The little she had learnt about him, either through his own admissions or from talking to George, confirmed to her that he is an extraordinary man who was doing harm to himself. So she decided to take a different approach, she gave him a notebook and asked him to keep a journal, she decided to play to the officer in him. She wanted him to write about his day, how he felt, how angry he was, anything he felt like but most importantly she wanted him to write what he remembered about his dreams. She wanted him to purge his mind to help him rebuilt his life, he had fought her on writing everything down because he did not want her to read it, but she assured him if he wanted to share with her he could. Two months later, he walked into his therapy session, opened his journal and let her read his constant recurring dream.

He looked out the window as Sabrina read the pages in front of her. He knew what he had written was wrong and that she would think less of him but she asked for it, he gave it to her. Sabrina finished reading the pages and as she put the book down she saw his back and said,

"Thank you for sharing that with me."

He turned and said,

"You must think I am really beyond help to think that way about my partner."

Sabrina said,

"As a matter of fact I don't. Come sit down."

As surprised as he was he did sit and asked,

"I don't know how you think this helps me except it shows you that I am a pervert just like the ones I caught for all those years."

Sabrina looked at him,

"That is not what I read..."

She watched his reaction as he looked surprised,

"Really?"

She nodded,

"What I read was mature and beautiful. Elliott you told me that you married Kathy because she got pregnant when you two lost your virginity to each other when you were 17. You and I are basically the same age, I remember when I was 17 when a boy asked me out, I thought it was because he was in love with me, I never knew true love til I was in my late 20s."

He looked at her surprised, she continued.

"Most therapists do not talk about their personal lives with their patients and if you were anyone else I would not be telling you half as much as I have but you and I come from a very similar place and I understand where you have been and I need you to know I really do understand."

He nodded and said,

"Thank you and I respect that. Most people judge without knowing or understanding. I always thought I was in love with Kathy til I met Olivia. The first time I saw her I knew I was trouble, she was beautiful, extremely strong and independent. Not to say Kathy wasn't beautiful, strong and independent but she wasn't adventurous, she didn't want to see the world, she wanted her mom's life, a bunch of kids and a husband who worked 9 – 5. She got it all but the 9 – 5 part. I realized I loved her because she was the mother of my children but I didn't have the head over heels can't wait to see her love for Kathy but I had it for Olivia. Every morning I brought her coffee and a bagel, she ordered ruebens and I ordered turkey and cheddar and we split our lunches. I found myself getting jealous when she would be dating other guys, I couldn't have her but I didn't want anyone else to have her either. As time went on she and I became best friends we would do anything for each other, the problem was I wanted more but if I let myself go there I would lose her as a partner. I didn't really trust anyone to protect her but me and in time I know she got to the same place where she needed me as much as I needed her. I know she felt the same about me because years into our partnership the Captain thought we were to close and threatened to split us up, so I know that this was not one sided."

He stopped at this point expecting Sabrina to be disgusted with him, but when he looked at her she nodded and smiled. He said,

"What?"

She said,

"Thank you that is the most honest I have heard you since we started these sessions. What I read in your dream was, you are a man who finally knows what true love feels like and Elliott there is nothing wrong with it. I read that Psyche evaluation you and Olivia had to do and honestly I would have given the same recommendation. You have made a lot of small admissions throughout this process and reading people is one of my strongest assets, but this admission today has pushed your healing ahead by leaps and bounds. Because I now fully understand what got you here and how to get you back to where you need to be. I ask only one thing, continue to be honest with me."

**Olivia's bedroom**

Once in Olivia's bedroom, he laid her down on the bed and slid down beside her lying on his side propped up with his elbow, he whispered in her ear as he nibbled her ear lobe,

"If I do anything you don't like or that bothers you please tell me."

She nodded as she softly moaned, he gently and lightly ran his fingers up her hard flat stomach to below her breast, he then trailed them downward to the top of the waist band of her work slacks, he moved from her ear lob down to her neck, he lightly blew her hair back as he trailed her neck with his tongue. He slowly moved to her mouth again and slipped his tongue in she slid her tongue into his mouth feeling every inch it, as he battled her tongue he unbuttoned her slacks and pushed the zipper down, he opened them and slid his hand into her panties running down over the hair that covered her mound. As she felt his hand continue to slide downward over her mound she spread her legs as wide as her pants would allow, he found her wetness and she felt him groan into her mouth. He released her mouth as he whispered into her ear,

"I am going to finger you to orgasm."

Her body was tingling with excitement, she had other men slide their fingers in her but only to see how wet she was, this was new to her, and his slight hesitation told her it was new to him also which made it that more exciting, she felt him gently insert his finger into her wetness. He slightly hesitated as he was nervous, Kathy had never been adventurous in the bedroom, as he gently and slowly slide his finger inside her he felt her get wetter, he heard her moan she was moving her hips as he pushed his finger in and out of her. As he pulled his finger out, she looked at him and said, "Please don't stop." He slid a second one in he now could feel her walls gripping his fingers, the more he pushed his fingers in and out the wetter she got and the tighter his own pants got, he started to gently twist his fingers inside of her and she started to rock against his hand. As he pulled his two fingers out again he slid in a third one and using his thumb he rubbed her clit, her moans got deeper and much louder, his three fingers twisting inside her as he pushed them in and out caused her to gasp and beg him to go deeper and faster. His own pants were so unbearably tight but it was not about him, he felt her hand go down over his zipper, she was rubbing his bulge, the more she rubbed the deeper his fingers went, he started to groan, causing her moans to deepen. She unzipped and unbuttoned his pants, she had to touch him he was not a guy who wore underwear everyday he liked going commando, so as she opened his pants his member sprang loose and as she grabbed it and pulled from their kiss to look down at him. She gasped and smiled as she took in his length and thickness, it was not what she had expected, he was so much bigger – she wrapped her hand around his thickness and slid it up and down, the faster she stroked the deeper he pushed into her and the faster he twisted his fingers, suddenly she screamed and he groaned, as he held back his own impending release, as he felt her orgasm rip through her body, he continued to twist and turn and push through the orgasm until another one was about to take over her body, he pulled his fingers out and pulled her pants down to her ankles where she quickly kicked them off, as she released his member she felt the wetness on his tip, she quickly pushed his pants down over his butt allowing her hands to slide lightly over each side. As he stood at the edge of the bed he quickly ripped open the condom package and rolled it over his member that continued to painfully throb as he felt her slide her hands downward. Once covered, he lifted her legs to rest her ankles on his shoulders, he lined his member with her centre and with one full thrust he penetrated her wetness which made her scream his name, 'oh my god El...' he groaned so deeply that he sounded like there was someone in his stomach. He held still as he was watching her face the whole time and he noticed a tear escape her eye, he stood still and asked, very concerned,

"Liv, are you okay? Am I hurting you?"

He then looked down and saw a little red, he looked at her and asked,

"Liv are you a..."

She shook her head,

"No just hold still a minute, let me adjust to you, you are so much bigger than I am used to." The pain was quick and he fit her so comfortably that she felt they were made to be together. She put her hands on his chest and looking into his eyes said,

"Make slow, deep love to me."

He needed no further encouragement, in the middle of her third deep orgasm he had his first extremely deep one as she felt him shudder and his breathing deepen she pulled her legs down and wrapped them around his waist, hooking her ankles together she pulled him deeper in, and felt his second full release as he let himself go. The skin on their bodies was visibly soaked and after their 6th orgasm ran through their bodies he released one final time and pulled out of her he fell on his back beside her. She was breathing as hard and deep as he was, as he kissed her cheek she turned and ran her hand over his damp chest and down his stomach. He ran his finger between her breasts and over each one circling her nipples, he said,

"I could do this all night with you. I love you so much."

She put her head on his chest,

"So could I. I never thought I could love someone as much as I love you."

He said,

"So you are okay?"

He felt her smile against his chest,

"More than okay. You?"

He smiled,

"Well that calmed my nerves..."

_**He watched them come out of the bathroom nude and freshly showered holding hands and head back to the bedroom. He watched as the apartment went dark. Get to know each other well, things can change pretty quickly... **_


	18. The Next Morning

**A/N: Thank you for all the reviews, I really appreciate them and I hope you all continue to enjoy the journey...**

Olivia woke up to the smell of bacon and eggs, and fresh brewed coffee. She heard him humming before she saw him, she got up and put on her robe, she walked out to the kitchen and saw him at the stove with his back to her. He heard her as she came up behind him and put her arms around his waist, she kissed him behind the ear as he turned and landed his lips on hers. He thought she looked beautiful first thing in the morning and she thought he looked so sexy standing there flipping eggs in his pants and half open shirt from yesterday. He said,

"Good morning Beautiful, you sleep well."

She smiled as he handed her a cup of coffee,

"Actually I did. It was nice going to sleep in your arms."

He nodded,

"It was nice having you on my chest."

She looked at his clothes, and said,

"You are going to have to leave a couple of sets of clothes here so that you don't have to wear the same suit."

He laughed,

"I have a clean pair of jeans and a shirt in the bag I left at the squad room. At some point today I will get a couple of suits to leave here if you are sure that's okay."

She nodded,

"I have plenty of room in my closet and I will even give you a drawer."

He put a plate of food in front of her on the counter as she grabbed the bbq sauce for her eggs, he made himself a plate and turned off the stove. He sat with her and they ate, he had always loved her appetite, she was not the salad only type, the only thing she liked that he was not keen on trying was sushi. She had tried to get him to a couple of times but no go, he knew Kathleen and Elizabeth loved it but even they could not convince him to eat it.

She liked this comfortable silence, she said,

"I didn't know you were into butterflies?"

He looked at her funny, knowing exactly what she was talking about but having a little fun with her,

"Why Detective Benson, what ever do you mean?"

She smiled knowing he was playing with her,

"I could not help noticing last night you have a little butterfly tattoo on your left hip."

He chuckled and nodded,

"It was my first tattoo and I got it during one of my 'what the hell was I thinking moments'."

She said eyeing him,

"So it has no significance?"

He stated returning the look,

"It is a my constant reminder to think before I ink."

She was enjoying the comfortable, familiar banter that was them, she said deciding to break new ground,

"I was thinking that maybe this weekend we could go to the Symphony, if you want. That is if you don't have Eli."

He was a little surprised by her comment but said as he put jam on his toast,

"What day and time?"

She wasn't sure he was really interested,

"Saturday at 8pm."

He said,

"I have Eli's T ball game at 1pm and then he is spending the night with Maureen in town. It's his big sister weekend. Dinner before or after the show?"

She said surprised he was even considering it,

"Before, around 6pm. There is a nice little bistro right by the Orchestra Hall, they have good food and we can have a drink."

He nodded, as he looked at her he put a forkful of egg in his mouth and said,.

"I would love to go with you. I have to say it has been a while since I have gone."

She looked at him and said,

"You go to the symphony?"

He shrugged,

"Only once. Elizabeth wanted to go as her father daughter date."

She smiled and asked,

"You liked it?"

He nodded,

"Surprisingly more than she did. I think it was more of a defiance move on her part, because I always do something with each of my kids that they want to do. And at one point they decided between them to pick things they thought would make me uncomfortable, just to see who could get me to squirm first."

Olivia laughed, knowing his kids the things had to be good, she asked,

"Why?"

He finished his toast and said,

"Well I made the mistake of saying it took a lot to make me uncomfortable considering my job so they took it as a dare to see who could make me uncomfortable first. Kathy overheard them talking and told me one night, she was surprised I was not upset, I told her to let them bring it on. They came up with Dickie wanting to go on the biggest roller coaster, which he got so sick on and me nothing. When Maureen was old enough she wanted to go to the Vagina Monologues so we went once it was over I asked her if she had any questions and all she said was, "Damn", and when it came to Kathleen's turn she was taking an art class and they needed models...let's just say the score is 4 dad 0 kids."

She was listening with interest as he told her the stories. She asked,

"You can't not finish that story, what kind of modelling?"

He smiled,

"What kind of models do art classes usually use?"

She shook her head knowing most were nude,

"Did you really..."

He laughed,

"No. She backed out when she realized I would have really done it."

She said surprised and taken a back,

"Would you have really modelled for the class?"  
He shrugged,

"I like to think I am open with my kids, but between me and you would I have gone nude for the class? I don't know...maybe if my daughter was not in the room. But I had to call her bluff."

She laughed and watched how animated he was throughout this exchange, she still could not believe he was the same guy who had walked away from her and the job 2 years earlier. He looked at her watching him and smiled at how lucky he was and at how beautiful she looked first thing in the morning. He asked,

"What are you thinking?"

She swallowed her food and said,

"I am thinking what a difference two years makes and how happy I am right at this moment."

He took her hand and said,

"You do realize we are going to do this again right? That this is the start of something beautiful? And that I am not walking away?"

She swallowed her mouthful of coffee almost choking as he said this. The fact that he was considering a life with her gave her pause for thought and goosebumps. He noticed and said,

"This is not a one night stand, or as Kathleen refers to them, _'booty calls'"_

She nodded, knowing he was not that kind of guy and hoping he meant what he said about staying, she did not want to get fully invested and have him walk away again, thinking his words from years earlier, '_she couldn't take it.'_. She said,

"How do you want to handle us at the station?"

He said,

"I will leave that to you, although since we are not technically coworkers it should not be a problem but I'll follow your lead, and as hard as it will be I will not show any public displays of emotion until we are alone, that is."

She heard an alarm go off. He laughed as they both jumped, he turned off the alarm on his phone. He said,

"I set it for 7:15 in case you were not awake, we need to be at the squad room for 8am and now we have enough time to get ready and have a few minutes to spare. Since I am ready to go, I will clean up while you get dressed."

She headed for the bedroom, as she dressed she thought she was dreaming. She was made love to by the man she was totally in love with, she fell asleep in his arms and woke up to him making breakfast. If this is was a dream she did not want to be woken up.

_**As he watched them continue to bond over breakfast, he said, "Enjoy your new found love you never know what tomorrow will bring..."**_

**In the Squadroom...**

They walked into the squadroom, Fin and Munch were already there along with all the recruits, Munch noticed that Elliott was wearing his same clothes as yesterday and elbowed Fin who also noticed. They both looked at Olivia who seemed happier than normal this morning but trying not to show it, as Elliott headed to the crib to change, she put the travel mugs of coffee down on her desk that he had prepared for them. She liked it better than the swill that the squadroom had, she looked over at Munch and Fin and said,

"Morning guys."

They nodded and smiled, and said together,

"Morning Liv."

The recruits chuckled as Liv shook her head. Cragen walked in and saw Liv and said,

"Good morning Liv, where did Elliott go?"

She said,

"He went up to the crib. He needed something out of the bag he left there."

Recruit Brown said,

"A change of clothes. He was wearing the same thing as he had on yesterday."

Cragen looked at Olivia as she shrugged and the rest of the squad snickered. It hit 8 am and Nick and Amanda had shown up just as Elliott was coming down the stairs. He was wearing a pair of blue jeans and a tight t shirt, Fin said,

"Oh Babs is going to love that look."

Elliott laughed. Cragen said,

"Morning Nick, Amanda and Elliott. Let's do our briefing."

He looked around the room and said to Elliott,

"So where did we leave it yesterday?"

He looked at his recruits,

"Which one of my recruits can tell us where we left off yesterday?"  
They all put up their hands, Elliott said,

"Officer Sanchez."

She said,

"We finished yesterday with a description of the rapist that needs to be distributed, and Ms Duffy is coming in this morning to work with an artist to get a composite sketch."

Elliott said,

"Officer Wentworth, anything else?"

Chester said,

"We are also waiting on the lab results from CSU and also results from the rape kit."

Elliott nodded with a smile,

"Excellent, at some point today Doc Warner will be calling with the rape results. Now with that being said, I need the six of you to stand by your trainer from yesterday."

Once they were done he said to Chester,

"Officer Wentworth we will do this counter clockwise so you go with Fin and everyone else move to the next training officer and you will be with them for the day."

Elliott now had Officer Arlene Bennett she had been with Amanda Rollins. The phone rang Olivia answered it and said after hanging up,

"That was Warner the rape kit results are in."

Cragen looked at Elliott, and said,

"Elliott, you and Liv go see Doc Warner. Fin and Amanda continue to run down leads on your other open case. Nick and John I need you two to go light a fire under CSU and see what they have."

Elliott said,

"Remember class, wear your vests."

Elliott, Liv, Bennett and Brown headed down to the ME's office. When they walked in, Melinda said,

"Hey Elliott, Olivia, Officer Bennett and ..."

Officer Brown extended his hand and said,

"Officer Michael Brown."

Melinda shook his hand and said,

"I am Dr. Warner, the Medical Examiner."

She said,

"The results of the rape kit came back with fluids. There is no match in the database. Get me a sample and I will be able to match it. Your perp was not careful, I also found pubic hair which does not belong to your victim."

Elliott nodded and said,

"Anything else?"

She nodded,

"Your perp has a zero sperm count."

Liv said,

"So that means that he has either had a vasectomy or he is very young."

Officer Bennett said,

"Or sterile."

Elliott looked at her. She said,

"Sorry. I had a boyfriend one time who had a zero sperm count because he was sterile. Apparently it happened in a freak accident."

Liv looked at Melinda,

"That is very possible."

Elliott said,

"Nice catch."

Officer Bennett smiled and nodded. Liv looked at Melinda and said,

"Let us know if there is anything else you find out."

Melinda nodded as they turned to leave. She said to Olivia on the sly out of earshot of the other three as they were heading out the door,

"Liv one second."

Liv stopped and turned back to her, as Melinda said as she nodded her head towards Elliott,

"Not that it is any of my business but..."

Olivia started to laugh, shook her head and said as she headed for the door,

"Come on Melinda you know I would never kiss and tell..."


	19. GC: The Question

Elliott really liked Sabrina, as far as therapists go, she was tough yet extremely sensitive. She had taught him things about himself that he did not even know or had completely forgotten about, he had always thought he knew himself well but after meeting her he needed his own encyclopedia. She challenged him and pushed him both physically and emotionally and yes he fought her but she fought him just as hard.

While he was at Greenwood Clinic, he got used to the steady routine that became his day, up early to work out with Sabrina before breakfast, then a really hearty breakfast, one on one therapy in the morning, a hearty homecooked lunch, group therapy 3 afternoons a week, a home cooked dinner and the rest of the time was his. One afternoon a week Dr. Huang came to visit and another his kids came. Even Captain Cragen had come once just to make sure he was okay, otherwise George kept him in the loop. Elliott had started walking through the clinic on his unfilled afternoons, he found that the first floor was administrative offices, the gym, the games/family room, the dining room and the pool. The second floor was for Dr. Stevens and his patients, it was also the floor where he went for group therapy. The third floor was for Dr. Hardy and his patients. The fourth floor was Dr. Webster and her patients, and fifth floor was Dr. Douglas and her patients. And finally the sixth floor which was for Dr. Ross and her patients, him being the only one. Each floor had its own nurses station which was always staffed, he got to know his nurse very well. Her name was Peggy, she had 3 college age kids and she loved working for Dr. Ross. He found out that she also worked as Dr. Ross's book proofreader and researcher which she said she found really fulfilling because not only did she get to work in an area of speciality that she loved she got to proof read books as she loved to read. He had asked Dr. Ross about Peggy and Sabrina had said,

"Batman has Alfred, Superman has Lois Lane, I have Peggy."

He remembered saying,

"But Peggy is just a nurse."

She said,

"Nobody is just anything. We can be whatever we want and whoever we want, that is the fun part about being an individual - no barriers no borders, because that is where people get stuck."

He looked at her and realized, he had put barriers and borders as to who he was and who he could be and that if he let go of them he could be anything or anyone. She had asked him,

"Who are you?"

He immediately said,

"A father, a husband and a police officer."

She asked,

"They are what you do not who you are. Who are you beyond what you do?"

He shrugged. She had said,

"I want you to think about the answer to that question today and tonight. I want to hear your answer tomorrow."

**Later that Day...**

Elliott stood out on the deck overlooking the water, lost in trying to figure out the answer to Sabrina's question...his thoughts were interrupted when he heard,

"There he is."

"Hey dad how are you doing?"

He smiled at the sound of their voices as he turned to face his daughters,

"Hey Maureen, Kathleen."

He hugged them both. He looked behind them, they noticed. Maureen said,

"Just us today. Richard and Elizabeth had exams, they said they would see you this weekend."

He nodded as he hugged them both. Kathleen, who was very perceptive said,

"What are you thing about?"

He took a breath and said,

"Firstly I am doing good and I am very happy to see both of you. Secondly I am just standing here taking in the scenery thinking about a question Sabrina wants me to answer tomorrow."

Maureen said,

"What question?"

He stood looking at this adult children, Maureen was 27 and Kathleen was 24 and it hit him. Kathleen saw the look that came over his face and asked concerned,

"Are you ok dad?"

He nodded and said,

"I was just thinking, that by the time I was Maureen's age I had been married just a little over 10 years and Maureen was ten."

Kathleen asked,

"Where are you going with this?"

He said,

"Let's go sit down."

The three of them sat on the bench overlooking the water and Elliott took a deep breath and turning to his daughters he said,

"Sabrina asked me this morning to answer this question about myself, 'who am I?'. When I said a father, a husband, a police officer she said, 'that is what you do, but not who you are?'. I couldn't answer her, I have been standing here trying to figure that out and honestly outside of those 3 descriptions I don't know who I am. Then I see my beautiful daughters standing in front of me and I realized I had gone from being a strong safety in football one year to a married man with a child on the way enlisting in the marines to make money to support my family. All this happening between my 17th and 18th birthdays. And life has been so busy since I never gave another thought about who I am as a man."

Kathleen was taking Psychology and she smiled and said,

"You know dad it is interesting that you should mention all this today..."

He said looking at her curiously,

"Why is that?"

She said matter of factly,

"Well I have one more year of schooling and I have to do a thesis next year to get my Bachelors Degree. We were told about it now so that we can think about what we are going to do it on. Now since I am going for my full Phd and want to specialize in Work Related Stress, I want to use you and your case for my thesis."

He looked at her and said,

"You want to use me for your thesis? Why?"

She said,

"I do not want you to be mad at me but when I went to therapy and got on medication for bipolar it got me thinking. I know Grandma B has bipolar so I subconsciously starting watching you I noticed over the years you changed – every year you got a little more distance. You stopped talking to mom, you spent more time at work, mom wasn't the only one who thought you and Olivia were having an affair. You know in my manic state I asked Olivia if she was sleeping with you and she said, 'no and it would never happen'. You know I remember the day you and Olivia were at Hudson working on a case and Olivia got there ahead of you, she was talking to the ME when you showed up and your whole stance changed when you saw her, you became calm. Then you looked at the body stood up, looked around, rubbed your face and your shoulders tensed and its like you went into cop mode. Olivia said something to you and you walked away pissed, she finished with the ME and went over to you where you were still mad she said something to you as she touched your arm and you seemed to calm down. The reason I bring this up is because when I started to study stress related issues it was then I fully understood where you were coming from, I described some of the things I saw in you to my professor and she said it sounded a lot like Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. I need you to know how proud of you I am that you got out of your own way and are getting help. I want to do my thesis on your case because it is what I want to practise when I graduate and it will help me understand you better."

Elliott looking like he was getting emotional so Maureen said,

"I always remember the day you picked me up at the beach and on the way home you stopped for that burning body and told me to stay in the car. But I didn't and I saw the body all I remembered for days was his eyes. I had nightmares about it and you looked at it like it was nothing, it gave me a new appreciation for what you do but it also made me realize that I would never be a cop or EMT, I could not do any job that required me seeing those types of situations. When I told mom about it, she said, 'I always give your dad a hard time about not telling me about his day, I should be glad he doesn't'.

He hugged them both and said,

"I tried so hard to be a better father than my own was and I just hope I succeeded. I never wanted to fail you kids."

Maureen said as he hugged her,

"You were a good father but you are an amazing dad."

Kathleen said,

"I would have to agree."

He squeezed them and then let them go saying,

"Thank you for saying, I appreciate it. Let's get something to drink."

They sat at a dining room table, the girls told him about their weeks and everything that was going on, they told him about Eli and gave him the pictures that Eli had drawn for him. Elliott was quiet as he looked at the hand drawn pictures, a tear ran down his cheek catching both girls by surprise. Anger, frustration, those they normally saw but tears they never saw. Kathleen said to Elliott,

"You okay?"

He looked up and wiped the tear away,

"Don't mind the tears, he come a lot easier these days and more often. Sabrina is forcing me to think about things I buried a long time ago and my emotions are a little raw. Besides I have come to realize one misses a lot in a year away from your kids. Eli was my chance to be there from the start, my do over."

Maureen said,

"We have all explained to Eli that this is necessary and that you love and miss him."

He smiled,

"You know I was there for all your births except Eli's, we all know what happened there. But I saw his first step, heard his first word, all the things I missed with the rest of you. But this past six months has been hard not being able to see him. At least the rest of you I see just as much as if we were home considering everyone's schedules."

Maureen said,

"Maybe we can work something out with Dr. Ross, maybe a Skype call or he can come up with us."

Elliott nodded,

"I'll talk to Sabrina. In the mean time can you two get me some more recent pictures of him? I want to see the changes."

They both nodded. Kathleen said,

"As to who you are, what are you going to do?"

He sighed,

"I don't know. Let me ask you if you two were asked that same question how would you answer about yourselves?"

Kathleen said,

"I am a strong and confident woman..." She stopped, "I don't know the rest of the answer to that question...let me think about it and I will answer you next time."

Maureen said,

"I am a strong, confident, creative lady who does not need a man to define me. I am working on a career that allows me to get paid for doing something I love and would do for free. You know I asked mom one time where I got my artistic talent and eye for shapes and colours, she said Grandma B. I showed Grandma B some of my architectural designs and told who what mom had said and she told me I got that from you, because she was a painter you were the designer. She even showed me some designs she had kept from when you were 14 and 15 and dad they were good, you could have made a career out of it."

He spread his arms out and motioned to the room,

"What? And miss all of this?"

They all laughed.

As the girls left, Maureen said,

"I know we were no help with answering your question but you will find the answer, it may just be buried a little too deep."

He said,

"Or in the bottom of the last box everyone says I use to store my feelings."

He hugged his girls and they left.

**The Next Morning...**

Sabrina asked,

"So who are you?"

Elliott looked at her, stretched in his chair and said,

"I thought about that all afternoon yesterday and last night. My daughters came to visit yesterday and I talked to them about it. After they left I thought about it some more and all I keep thinking about was something my mom said to me a couple of years ago. She said, '_you had so many_ _dreams, you've lost your passion. You're living your father's life_.' when I told her I wasn't and that I wanted to be a cop she said, '_no you didn't what happened to all that passion where did it go_'. So to answer your question I have no idea..."

She said,

"So that is where we will start."


	20. The Sketch

Babs walked into the squadroom just as Elliott and Olivia came in the back door from the ME's office. She looked at them, as she watched Elliott take off his jacket and put on the back of the chair beside Olivia's desk. They were sharing her desk while he was there, Sabrina came in with George Huang...Babs eyed Sabrina up and down, she went up to her, extended her hand and flirtatiously said,

"Babs Duffy. And who might you be?"

Sabrina shook her hand and maintaining eye contact said,

"Ms Duffy, I am Dr. Sabrina Ross."

Sabrina looked around at Elliott, Olivia, Fin and John they were all smirking and trying not to laugh. Sabrina said,

"So you are here to see Detective Stabler?"

As Babs turned and saw Elliott standing beside Olivia in his tight t shirt that emphasized how well built he was she said very seductively, as Sabrina shot a smile at Elliott.

"Actually I am."

She walked over to Elliott and said in a kitten voice,

"No baggy shirt and tie I see. I like the skin tight t shirt, I thank you for thinking of me when you chose it."

She leaned over to Olivia and whispered,

"I like to think the look is for me but I know it is for you. You'll have to lend him some nipple tape though..."

Olivia looked at her quizzically, Babs said looking towards his chest,

"It will smooth out the lines ."

That was when Olivia realized what Babs meant. Babs then said,

"Unless you like that he is showing you what you are missing."

They both blushed extremely red. The squadroom started to laugh, Elliott said, trying to take the attention off of them,

"Come with me Babs we have a room all set up for you."

Babs turned to Olivia and said,

"I will be gentle with him."

Olivia shook her head but could not stop all the eyes that were staring at her.

Sabrina and Officer Bennett followed Elliott and Babs to the interrogation room. Elliott said,

"Have a seat Babs. How is your day going?"

"Well Stabler, it is going good considering I did not get much sleep last night."

Sabrina stood outside the interrogation room looking through the 2 way glass. A sketch artist came in and took a seat beside Babs, she instantly flirted with him. Officer Bennett took a seat across from Babs as Elliott said,

"I will leave you 2 to do the drawing, Bennett you can stay if you want, I will be back when the drawing is done."

Bennett said to Babs,

"I will stay if that is okay. I want to see the process."

Babs nodded watching Elliott leave the room. Elliott went to the squadroom and said,

"Brown, Jones, Wentworth, Sanchez and Marlow if you want to see how an artist sketch is done please follow me."

They followed him back to the Interrogation Room and they all stood outside the window watching and listening. Once the sketch was done, the artist came out and showed it to Elliott, he took a very quick look,

"Okay, get it to the squadroom and ask John to get it distributed, please."

Babs was chatting with Officer Bennett when Elliott re entered the room,

"So what made you want to be a Special Victims Detective?"

She said,

"I think it is the one department that needs the most help. Why did you want Detective Stabler to investigate your case?"  
Babs said,

"Because I trust him to solve it. And besides not only is he cute when he is trying to be tough but he is hot as hell without even knowing it."

Olivia said from behind the glass,

"Oh he knows it and uses it."

George and Sabrina both looked at her. She said looking at George,

"Were you not in the same room I was when Dory went from his zipper to his eyes and asked where he kept his gun. Did you not see the same look I did when he flirted with her and said '_if you tell me where April is I will show you my gun'_?"

George started smiling and nodded,

"I was so used to seeing him angry and pissed off that I was shocked and amused at how flirty he got. I had never expected to see that side of him."

Sabrina said,

"Really..."

George interrupted,

"You did not see him before. The guy standing there is not the same guy who left here 2 years ago."

Elliott came and sat down beside her. Babs said,

"You know Stabler you should tell your partner to give you a drawer."

Elliott said,

"What are talking about?"  
She said,

"Oh come on don't be coy with me."

He said,

"No really what are you talking about?"

She said slyly,

"You smell of her soap and your not wearing your usual cologne."

He played stupid,

"I have no idea what you are talking about. Thousands of people use this soap."

She looked at Bennett and said,

"Policing 101, If he smells like his partner he slept with his partner."

Officer Bennett looked puzzled. Babs shook her head and sighed,

"I am the only one who has noticed you smell like Benson. So obviously you two had an impromptu roll in the sheets at her place and you didn't expect to spend the night so you did not bring your own toiletries."

He shook his head as he looked through the window where he knew she stood, Olivia felt George and Sabrina's eyes on her. She did not look at them, she couldn't she just looked at him. Elliott said shaking his head,

"Babs Babs Babs, only you. Let's get back to the matter at hand I have a couple more questions for you. I need a little clarification."

She looked at Officer Bennett,

"He is a master of taking the focus off of himself."

Elliott said,

"I just want to catch your rapist."

_**You will catch her rapist but not until I cost you what you cost me...**_

The sketch artist handed John the sketch, he looked at it and showed Fin. Fin looked at it twice and said,

"Munch take a good look at this drawing. Does it not look familiar to you?"

John looked at the picture again as Cragen came into the bullpen saying,

"Is that the sketch?"

Fin said,

"Yes but there is something familiar about it .."

Cragen said to John,

"Get it up on the screen so we can all see it."

John downloaded it and put it on the screen. Cragen said,

"Where is Elliott? Has he seen this?"

Fin said,

"I will get him."

_**Babs recall ability had been underestimated...**_

After he had finished in the interrogation room Elliott walked out and was immediately confronted with looks from George and Sabrina. Olivia had headed back into the squad room where she could take a look at the sketch. Fin came to the door and said,

"El did you take a close look at the sketch?"

He shook his head,

"No, I figured once John got it on screen I will take a good look at it. Why?"

Fin said,

"John has it up and you really need to take a look at it."

Elliott looked at Sabrina, she said,

"I am coming also, but I do want to debrief with you before I leave for the weekend."

He nodded as they all headed for the squadroom. Elliott entered the room seeing everyone staring at the photo on the screen, he said,

"Do we know who the perp is?"

John moved so that Elliott could get a really good look at it. It took him only a minute to realize who it was, and he said,

"Oh damn. That is..."

_**Well Detective Stabler you don't think I would make it that easy for you, do you...**_


	21. The Debrief

**A/N: I want to Thank all of you who have sent in reviews they are very much appreciated. And the journey continues. Enjoy...**

Sabrina watched as Elliott's face showed that he recognized the face in the sketch but he was conflicted. She heard him say,

"But how can that be. This is the last person I would ever believed would become a rapist."

John said,

"We still need to check it out and confirm an ID. I'll get right on it. Although this might explain why Babs was targeted."

Elliott looked at John,

"Why?"

John said quite seriously,

"Because of her connection to you. Babs may have been a means to get to you. You have been of the grid for a while you know."

Elliott looked at Olivia,

"We were both on that case..."

Olivia said,

"But I have not been off the grid like you have. If I were a target there have been many opportunities to get to me over the last couple of years. We need to figure out how they knew you had resurfaced and where."

Elliott said,

"It could just be a coincidence."

Fin said joining the conversation,

"I would say it is a very big one. Let me help Munch see what we can find out."

And with that he and John went to work, their recruits in tow.

Sabrina stood behind Elliott and said,

"While John and Fin are checking on the real circumstances of your suspect can I talk to you for a minute?"

Elliott nodded,

"Sure lets go into interrogation 2."

Once in the room, Sabrina said,

"Well seeing you with Ms Duffy was very enlightening. I see where the 97% closure rate comes from. How was your night?"

He was thankful for the momentary diversion as this case had suddenly become very real and very personal to him with the sketch. He said,

"Actually it went better than expected."

She said,

"I am not going to pry but is what Ms Duffy say true about you and Olivia?"

He looked at her funny. She said,

"Listen I am not a detective I do not go around smelling people. Besides my allergies are so bad I have lost my sense of smell. I just need to know you are alright."

He said,

"Yes it is true. I had no intention of spending the night but it felt right."

He suddenly starting laughing, she looked at him bewildered. He said,

"Night Right. Damn I am starting to sound like a cheesy greeting card..."

Sabrina chuckled,

"I am okay with that as long as you are happy, and to me you look happy."

He nodded,

"I am I just hope that I'm not moving too fast with Olivia? I mean we just got back together and I'm not completely sure she trusts that I am here to stay."

Sabrina,

"Did she invite you to stay the night?"

He nodded,

"As a matter of fact she did."

Sabrina,

"Then she does not think you are moving too fast. Just remember leave it to her and let her guide the timeline, do not push her into anything but do not push her away. Make sure she knows you will not be leaving her and that she is important. I am not telling you anything you do not know you love each other let that guide the way. I am just saying let her guide the pace. So you have any plans for the weekend?"

He nodded,

"Tball with Eli tomorrow afternoon, then dinner and the Symphony with Olivia tomorrow night."

She said surprised,

"You and the Symphony..."

He nodded,

"You know a lot about me but not everything. Besides I still think Olivia doesn't expect us to go. I think she is just waiting for me to back out."

Sabrina,

"But you are not going to are you?"

He shook his head,

"Hell yes. Seriously I am actually looking forward to it."

Sabrina laughed as she reminded him,

"Just to remind you I am going away for the weekend and George will be available if you need anything."

He nodded,

"Okay have fun."

Sabrina said,

"Before I leave I have one question about this case, why would you be a target?"

He shook his head,

"I'm not sure. If I'm right this is a case that Liv and I worked 10 years ago. But so I don't have to repeat this story twice let's go into the squadroom and I will tell it to everyone."

**Back in the Squadroom**

Captain Cragen had gotten everyone back together and Elliott took over,

"The big question here is why would I be the target. Liv, remember about 10 years ago we had a case where we were looking into a series of rapes involving single mothers with young children who ranged in age from 10 – 13 years old. It seemed the mothers were not what some would consider model citizens but they were all those kids had. Some of them were into drugs and at first we figured it was payback for drug deals gone bad, you know drugs first cash later or whatever payment was agreed on but they weren't. They ended up being caused by a serial rapist who was a married father of 2 kids, a boy and a girl, aged 12 and 15, the wife was so distraught when she realized what kind of man she married that she killed him. We later found out that she herself had been raped just before she had gotten married and when she found out she was pregnant she wanted to give up the child but her husband said no it did not matter to him. Her rape had been 15 years earlier. After he was arrested and arraigned we went back over her rape kit and found out her husband was her rapist and that is when she killed him. At the time of her attack his DNA was not in the system and he was never a suspect because he had an ironclad alibi, he was out of town on a business trip and had all the paperwork to back it up. This picture looks similar to one of those kids, they would be in their twenties now."

Sabrina's FBI training kicked into gear and she asked,

"Why was he raping? And why did you go back to her rape kit?"

Olivia said,

"That was my idea, I had noticed that the oldest child really resembled the father and although it might be a shot in the dark I thought we should check. So the kit was found and run, it was a match. As for why he was raping he said he had too, it was in his DNA. When we checked back it turned out his father and uncle were both rapists and he thought he was carrying on the family business so to speak."

Sabrina,

"What happened to the two kids? I assume the mom went to jail for murder?"

Elliott nodded,

"The defence tried to plead self defence but the jury did not buy it and the DA, at the time, wanted an example made and she was it. She got 25 years in jail and the kids ended up in foster care. I checked in on them every once in a while for the first couple of years but they seemed to be doing fine and they said that although they appreciated my concern for them, I was a constant reminder of what they had lost and they just wanted to move forward. I gave them my card and told them if they ever needed anything not to hesitate to call no matter when. Needless to say, but I never heard from them again."

Sabrina said,

"So now you need to figure out what happened to cause this backlash and to actually see if you are being targeted through Babs and if so is Olivia also a target?"

Elliott nodded and said,

"I always hate going up against the unknown. Worse part is if I am a target then my life becomes one very open book..."

Olivia finished his sentence,

"and that scares the hell out of you."

He chuckled and nodded. Sabrina added,

"For what it is worth, despite the fact that I am well known because of my books and appearances I would not want anyone rifling through the closets of my life either."

She noticed all the surprised looks, she said,

"Hey we all have things in our lives that are better off not seeing the light of day, no matter who we are."

Cragen said,

"With what we know up til now I need to know Elliott are you okay with continuing on as lead with this case?"

Elliott sighed,

"Yes I am. I know that it may be hard but right now this is all speculation that I am a target. We need to treat it like any other rape case until it looks like it isn't besides I have received no direct threats. At that time then we will talk. But for now Liv and I need to talk to Babs again, I now have new questions."

Cragen looked at his watch,

"Well I would say it is time for lunch and we regroup."

Elliott nodded and saw his recruits all watching him, he asked,

"Do any of you have any questions?"

Officer Bennett asked,

"If you are the target and they try to get to you and one of us is with you. What do we do?"

He said,

"Good question. Let me get back to you with an answer on that. You all have to remember you are here to learn...but right now we are going to take an hour lunch break. Did any of you bring a lunch?"

Everyone shook their heads, John said,

"I took the liberty of ordering a few pizzas they should be here any minute."

Elliott said,

"Thanks John."

He then looked at Olivia who said,

"I ordered us bacon cheeseburgers and fries, I am not in the mood for pizza."

He smiled and wanted to kiss her but remembering not to show any public displays of emotion stopped himself and just said,

"Excellent, me neither."

_**They spent a long time in Interrogation 2, there had been no time to bug that room so the full conversation was lost. But after being a part of the full conversation in the squadroom - time was not a friend...**_


	22. After Lunch

**A/N: Thank you to all of you who have taken the time to review this journey, I really appreciate it. I love that some of you are trying to figure out who is the threat, as in real life threats can come from the most unexpected place or person...**

After lunch Elliott, Olivia, Officers Bennett and Brown headed out to see Babs, had moved into a new office space and that was where they were heading. Olivia asked the recruits,

"Are you two learning anything from what we are doing?"

Officer Brown said,

"I am learning that everyone has their strengths and weaknesses. Yesterday I learned a lot from Sergeant Munch and Fin, they said that the original 4, you two and them, worked well together because you complimented each other."

Olivia eyed Elliott and then asked,

"That is very true. Did you two find out anything about your professor here?"

Elliott looked at her and she shrugged. Officer Bennett said,

"Actually we did not, when we asked they both said Detective Stabler was the best person to answer the questions. The two things I have learnt so far are that nothing is what is seems and it takes true teamwork to get a case solved."

Elliott smirked,

"Good ole Fin and Munch. The pillars of discretion. That's why I love them."

Brown said,

"Besides they said, if Detective Stabler would not answer the questions the next best person to ask would be you Detective Benson. And I do have a question, how long were you two partners?"

Olivia said watching the road but feeling Elliott's eyes,

"12 years."

Brown,

"That is a long time. Did you ever want a new partner at any point through those years?"

Olivia,

"Only once. It's a long story but the condensed version is I thought we needed a break, we had just finished a really tough case and I was worried our partnership was at risk so I asked for a new partner to get a break, and it turned out to be a good thing and a bad thing."

Bennett,

"Why?"

Olivia continued without looking at Elliott,

"Because a good partnership is like a marriage, when one walks away it can make things stronger in one way but also hurts it in another because a certain amount of trust is lost. Trust is a hard thing to build."

Bennett,

"Being the only male/female partnership for so long did it make it difficult in personal relationships?"

Olivia looked at Elliott,

"Well El you can answer that one..."

Elliott had been silently listening as he stared out the window. Her statement brought him back and he said,

"The simple answer is yes. I was married for most of our partnership and I never talked to my wife about work because as you will soon find out that work and personal don't mix well and you need to keep personal a place you can escape to, to get away from the crap we see everyday, and at one point she got really jealous because she thought Liv and I were having an affair, which we weren't, but I spent more time at work than I did with my family."

Brown said,

"But your wife is okay with it now?"

Elliott nodded,

"She is fine with it now because we have been divorced for a couple of years."

Olivia was surprised by his open admission. She said,

"As for me being single, relationships are hard, either the guys I saw thought I was too close to my partner or they got too interested when they found out what kind of work I do."

Bennett,

"So what Ms Duffy said this morning in the interrogation room was it true?"

Elliott looked at Olivia and then said,

"Babs was just being Babs. She likes to give me a hard time."

Brown said,

"But you did walk into the squadroom wearing the same clothes as yesterday..."

Elliott interrupted,

"It was late when we got done last night, so I spent the night on a friend's couch. Now what people want to read into that is their business but I am done answering personal questions. You have any more police related ones?"

Bennett said,

"For me the questions seem relevant because I am female and could very likely end up with a male partner and need to know how to navigate the waters that surround that."

Olivia nodded,

"I understand that, when we were partners we could easily pass off for husband and wife because people who did not know us thought we were a couple because we have such great chemistry. Now we have Amanda Rollins and Nick Amarro on our team since Detective Stabler retired and although they don't have the same chemistry we did, they could be passable."

Elliott said,

"You don't have a steady partner now?"

Olivia said,

"Half the time with Nick the other half with Fin. But I still prefer you."

He gave her is cheesy grin.

Olivia parked in front of the renovated house that served as Babs new headquarters, they were greeted with a flurry of action as Babs was instructing everyone on what needed to be done for their next rally as the 4 of them entered the building. Babs saw them and signalled them over,

"Stabler, Benson welcome to the new home of . We are just getting ready for our rally on Saturday night. Will you two be joining us?"

Elliott said before Olivia could,

"If it was any other Saturday I would say yes but I have a previously booked event this Saturday."

Olivia was thankful for the out even though she thought he might take Babs invite as a way out of the Symphony. She said as Babs looked at her,

"Sorry I've had an event on the books for Saturday. Tickets were bought months ago."

Babs said not even disappointed, but giving them her 'have fun kids' look,

"Well it is kind of short notice so I have no problem with you not coming but since you both are Allies of my cause I expect you at next Saturdays rally, also your recruits – all of them. So pass it on."

Elliott said,

"Babs we will all be there. Is there anywhere we can talk I have some questions about the sketch you gave us?"

Babs said,

"Sure just give me a minute."

She proceeded to give orders to everyone and then led them to a back room that looked like a storeroom with all its boxes,

"Welcome to my future office. Sorry for the mess we are still moving in."

Olivia said,

"No problem."

Elliott said pulling out the sketch from earlier,

"This picture you did earlier today, have you ever noticed anyone that looked like it hanging around here, either as a volunteer or a helper of sorts, anything?"

She looked at the picture again,

"No I haven't. Maybe it is a disguise?"

There was a big picture window looking out onto the main floor that they had just been on and Olivia looked out it as Babs talked to Elliott. Officer Brown noticed Olivia looking at the picture and then out the window, he followed her and did the same thing. He bumped Olivia's elbow and said quietly,

"Over by the back staircase."

Olivia looked at the photo and back again at the staircase and made eye contact with the person standing there, Olivia said not looking away but acting like she was continuing to survey the room,

"Babs where does that back staircase go?"

She said,

"To the side alley."

Olivia asked,

"Is the alley a thruway?"

Babs said,

"No. It is a loading dock similar to a garage which is fenced in and the only way out is down this side of the building and into the street. Why?"

Olivia said,

"Our person in the picture is standing at the back stairway. Brown you come with me we will mingle with the crowd and don't let our suspect leave if they try."

Elliott said to Bennett,

"I hope you have your running legs on because if our perp takes off down the road we take chase. Liv if we have to bolt on foot you two come after us with the car. And Babs you stay here."

And off they went, Liv and Brown headed into the crowd as Elliott and Bennett headed outside as soon as Elliott was outside the chase was on, Liv saw the perp look at her and then the back door opened and then closed and she said to Brown,

"Suspect is on the run. Let's go outside to the car."

Elliott saw the perp take off past the door he was leaving down the street, he and Bennett took chase. Elliott had almost caught up until a door opened as the perp passed it causing the sidewalk to be get blocked and causing El to go around it giving the perp time to take off down a dark alley losing them. Elliott ran through the alley trying to see where the face in the sketch went, there were too many doors and openings. Liv and Brown pulled up to the alley in the car, Bennett was totally out of breath while Elliott who had kept in shape was not even winded. He cursed lightly as Liv got out of the car and walked up to him. He said,

"There are too many openings and doors to go through. We need to find out who knows this face at Babs."

Brown looked at Bennett who was breathing so hard, and then at Elliott who wasn't and he said,

"Bennett, Detective Stabler has a few years on you and he is not even winded. But you can barely breath."

She said,

"I will have to start jogging faster."

Olivia said as she headed back to the car,

"And he wasn't even going as fast as he can..."

Elliott said to Bennett and Brown as he was getting in the car,

"When you are chasing someone, you have to run like they are chasing you with a gun and your life depends on it. Let's go back to Babs' office and canvas the crowd, here is a sketch for each of you someone has to know this face."

Back at Babs office she said upon seeing them,

"Well?"

Elliott said,

"Our suspect got away we need to show this picture to everyone here and see if anyone can identify the face or give us some information."

Just as they were about to head in the crowd, Elliott's phone rang,

"Stabler."

He listened for a minute then said,

"John are you sure?"

He listened again,

"Okay we will be back shortly. Thanks."

He looked at Olivia,

"That was Munch we got an ID."

_**Damn Stabler can really boot it when he has too and his coworkers are good...but I am better...I can't let it end this soon...but that was little too close...**_


	23. Who I Am

Elliott and Sabrina were jogging on the path around the lake that faced the Clinic, he enjoyed their runs he felt free, it gave him time to think. His thoughts were interrupted by Sabrina saying,

"Elliott stop, I need to take a break..."

This was new for him she usually pushed him, he looked at her concerned and asked,

"Are you okay?"

She smiled and nodded,

"Yes. This is such a beautiful place and so serene, I think it would be a good place to talk."

He noticed a bench by a small grove of oak trees, they both stretched and then sat down, she took a drink of her Gatorade and said looking out over the lake,

"Do you know why I run every morning?"

He said,

"To help keep you in shape."

She said,

"At first it was for that reason, but all the other exercises I do are actually what keep me in shape, I actually run to think and clear my mind. You and I have been running for over 6 months together and what has it done for you?"

He thought about it and said,

"Well at first it did nothing for me except remind me of chasing a perp. Then I noticed I started thinking of all the people I had let down with this exile from reality. Then I thought about how much I was missing with my kids especially Eli. Then I thought about my childhood and how dysfunctional it was, abusive alcoholic father and bipolar mother. I thought about where my life would be if I hadn't had those 3 beers to get the nerve to talk to Kathy, if she hadn't kissed me, if we hadn't lost our virginity to each other, if she hadn't gotten pregnant after that one time would there have been another, if we had not married, if I hadn't joined the marines, hadn't become a cop."

He stopped and looked at her. She said,

"Did you come up with any answers?"

He shook his head,

"I don't regret my kids..."

She said turning to him,

"But you do have regrets."

He nodded. She said as he swallowed a mouth full of Gatorade,

"When you were 17, the day before that party what did you want to be when you grew up?"

He smiled,

"An astronaut, I wanted to go up in space."

She said,

"What ranking did you want?"

He looked out over the lake,

"A Colonel."

She asked,

"Then why did you get out of the marines? You would have been on your way. You were past the door, you were in the building."

He nodded,

"Because Kathy wanted a husband who was home..."

He then teared up at his realization. He stood up and walked towards the lake picking up a stone and skipping it across the flat surface. Sabrina remained seated as she watched him. He said with his back to her,

"I had to give up my dream to be responsible. I had a wife and child to support."

Sabrina stood to go stand by him and said,

"So you lost your most formidable teen years. If you were faced with the same decision today would you make the same choice?"

He stood silent for a minute and quietly said,

"No. I wouldn't. Would I support my daughter? Absolutely. Would she know who I am? Absolutely. But I would not get married or give up my dream if the circumstances were exactly the same."

Sabrina said to him,

"That speaks volumes. You know Elliott you are a good man, a very giving man, despite your tough exterior you have a big heart. I want you to do me a favour..."

He turned to look at her, and she saw his wet cheeks, she said,

"From today onward I want you to be true to you. You have not signed your final divorce papers, why?"

He shrugged and said,

"Signing the papers would make me be a failure thus proving my father right. I do love Kathy because she is the mother of my children. But I am not in love with her, we always had a sexual attraction, but I never had that I _can't wait to get home and see her_ attraction."

Sabrina said,

"But you do have that attraction for someone? Elliott whether you want to believe it or not you are no where near a failure and anyone who thinks that does not know you. I want you to sign them. I want you to set yourself and Kathy free."

He smiled as he wiped his cheeks dry with the sleeve of his shirt,

"Yes I do. Olivia. I fall asleep thinking of her, I used to wake up excited about seeing her. I openly admit I am in love with her and that is part of the reason I am here."

He continued,

"You know as I stand here and think about it, my mother was right, I am living my father's life only difference is Kathy is not bipolar."

Sabrina said,

"Not quite your father's life, you are not an alcoholic and you are not abusive."

He chuckled,

"Just to lockers and walls."

They both laughed. She said,

"This is a huge step for you, but to clarify you are here because you do not talk to people, you have a need to keep things boxed up inside thinking that everything will be alright and I get where that comes from but as you can see that only works for so long. Right now we are in the process of opening those boxes and getting rid of the things you do not need and dealing with and keeping only what is necessary. You have told me a lot of things about yourself, but getting you to see the real you, the man I see, has taken a long time. You do need to know that even once your time is done here I will still be seeing you out there twice a week for the first little while and then we will go from there."

He asked matter of factly,

"Will I always have to be a patient?"

She said,

"Well that depends on you. I personally think that if you continue on this path that you will not need to see me forever. But I will always be here for you, retired or not."

He nodded. He said,

"You probably have realized I don't like talking about myself..."

He looked at her as he said and it and chuckled as she said,

"Really!Not you!"

He said as he chuckled and shook his head at her sarcasm,

"My father always said, 'what happens at home stays at home'. His belt taught me very fast that he was not joking."

Sabrina said as she stretched,

"You know Elliott we all want our parents approval, we want to make them proud, but sometimes we have to accept that no matter what we do they will never give their approval, it is just not in them. Therefore it was never about who we are it is about who they are. We just need to learn from that and not repeat the cycle and your kids are living proof you have not repeated the cycle."

She looked at him and saw the look of recognition as if a light went off inside and it all made sense to him. He looked at her and said,

"I think I can answer your question now..."

She looked at him and nodded. He continued,

"Who Am I? I am a man on a journey of self discovery?"

He looked at her and saw her nod and smile. She said, knowing this conversation was not over but it was a good place to end it,

"I agree with that. You ready to go?"

He nodded and they jogged off...


	24. A Weekend of Their Own

**A/N: Thank you to all of you who have taken the time to review this journey, I really appreciate it. **

Elliott was awaken by 5 year old son Eli jumping on the bed, yelling,

"I'm hungry Daddy I want some pancakes."

Even as tired as he was he loved his time with Eli, he felt fortunate enough that between Skype and his older kids he was able to see enough of him to have his year at Greenwood not scar Eli. After getting back to the city and settled into his new place, Eli acted as if Elliott had just been on a trip, everyone had covered for his absence.

Elliott rubbed his eyes and watched his son jump on the bed. Eli said, happy to see he had succeeded in waking up Elliott,

"Morning Daddy."

Elliott laughed,

"Morning Champ. So you want pancakes, huh?"

Eli knelt on the bed with his hands on his hips and said,

"You always make me good luck pancakes before my games."

Elliott had started the Good Luck pancakes when Eli first started Tball because the little guy was new to the game and thought he was a jinx because he never got a hit and they always lost, even though no score was kept. So Elliott started making the pancakes and they seemed to work so it was now their tradition, although the fact that Eli could now hit the ball came from practice and understanding of the game.

After doing his morning routine, Elliott made the pancakes. By the time he was done getting Eli ready, it was time to head out for the game, before going he grabbed a black suit and a blue one, he also grabbed his tux for his evening with Olivia. He added some spare toiletries he had to a bag and after getting Eli ready they headed to the ball field. It was Elliott's turn for treats so he grabbed a couple of boxes of jumbo Freezies and put them in a cooler bag he had in his trunk.

Maureen had shown up with her live in boyfriend of 3 years, Roy, who Eli really liked as for Elliott no man would be good enough for any of his girls but he did like Roy after getting to know him. Roy was with Maureen because she was his ride to the train station, he was going to Baltimore for the weekend for work. After pleasantries Elliott took out his phone as he watched the 3 of them leave, he called Olivia, she answered her phone on the first ring as she saw his name she answered,

"Hey El, the game over?"

He said,

"Yep, we still on for tonight?"

She was surprised she figured he would be calling to say he could not make it,

"Yes we are. You still want to go?"

He said,

"Absolutely, I would not miss tonight for the world. I was thinking it might be easier if I come change at your place..."

She interrupted,

"No problem. Just come on over..."

After she hung up she jumped in the shower, just in case he needed one too. They could have taken a shower together as it was part of her fantasy but she did not trust herself and she knew they would not be going to the symphony if they did.

It was 4:30 pm when he arrived at her door, he knocked and she answered right away,

"Come on in."

He entered carrying his garment bag and small duffel bag. He said surveying her from towel wrapped hair to her painted toes, and smiled. She cleared her throat as she watched him survey her, he heard her and looked up saying,

"Hey, I brought a couple suits like we discussed and some spare 'smell like me' items."

She chuckled, as she remembered Babs comment, and said heading to the bedroom,

"Come on I'll show you your new space."

She showed him his drawer and section in her closet. He put everything away except the tux he turned to her and said,

"Do I need a suit or tux tonight?"

She had seen him in a tux early on in their partnership and thought he looked sexy as hell. She said,

"You can wear the tux but don't need a tie with it. It is dressy casual."

He turned to her and pulled her in for a deep kiss and as he pulled away he said,

"I missed you last night."

She returned the kiss just as deeply and said,

"My bed was lonely without you, you are planning on staying the night I hope?"

Not letting go of her he said,

"Absolutely I will spend the night besides it is your turn to show me your dream of us..."

She looked him in the eye totally unembarrassed and said,

"I am looking forward to showing you."

He laughed and kissed her again. He could not believe how much he loved her, his body did things so subconsciously that he could not control, he could feel his pants getting tight. Olivia felt his bulge forming against her body, she looked into his eyes as they darkened and got sexier. She had never allowed herself to get this close to anyone else and yet with him it felt completely natural and right, his body's reaction was telling her he felt the same way. He kissed her again and pulled away saying,

"If we are going to make dinner I need to shower and get ready."

She reluctantly let him release her and nodded. She still had to do her hair and light makeup. He took a quick cold shower letting his body get back to normal and then took his normal 5 minute regular one. After drying off and putting a towel around his waist he opened the bathroom door letting the cooler air of the livingroom suck out the once enclosed steam, as he did his facial grooming Olivia walked in behind him. She had never seen him shave before she stood watching him, her eye caught his as he put the razor down, he said,

"I have always wondered why women like watching men shave..."  
She answered right away, as she grabbed her final hair products and headed back to the bedroom leaving him watch her back as she left with a smirk and growl.

"Because it is sexy as hell."

He shook his head and finished his grooming...

_**Too bad I could not put a bug in her apartment, but the lip reading does help. Have fun tonight detectives as the game is coming to an end...**_

**At the Bistro...**

Elliott and Olivia were walking hand in hand into the Bistro, he dressed in the tux with an open shirt and no tie and Olivia wore a dark blue classic dressy knee length dress with 2 inch heels, he said,

"I know I have told you once already but you look gorgeous."

She squeezed his hand and smiled,

"You look amazing in this look."

They both smiled as the host greeted them and Olivia said,

"Two for Stabler."

The host said taking menus,

"Come with me your table is ready."

As they walked to their table and were about to sit down, Olivia noticed two familiar faces looking dumbfounded sitting at the table right beside them. Elliott followed her eyes and his landed on the same sight he saw, Fin and Alex having dinner, they were dressed to the nines also. Fin saw them both looking at them and said,

"We'll keep your secret if you keep ours."

The four of them started to laugh. Olivia said,

"Are you two going to the Symphony also?"

Alex nodded,

"Yes my favourite one is playing."

Before they could say anything the waitress for their section came over, none of them had ordered yet and she said,

"Are you 4 friends?"

Fin said,

"Yes we are..."

She continued,

"If you would like since your tables are off the beaten path and kind of private before you order I can slide the tables together so you can visit if you would like?"

Alex said,

"That would be great. Since we have the same amount of time and are going to the same place."

Fin and Elliott slide the tables together and the waitress took all their orders together. After a couple of minutes Elliott and Olivia's drinks came, as they chit chatted Fin said to Elliott,

"Since you have been back how have you found it?"

He took a deep breath,

"Well honestly I was nervous at first but after talking to Babs the first time the nerves went away."

Fin said,

"I notice that you are not carrying a gun."

Olivia was surprised by this as she had not even noticed he was not carrying all the time. He looked at Olivia and then said,

"After I shot Jenna I knew I was not ever coming back, besides if I wanted to, IAB was going through my jacket because of my anger issues and 6 good shoots, they wanted me to take psych tests and anger management classes. I would have been under a microscope for the rest of my career. The Captain tried to talk to 1PP and IAB on my behalf but it wasn't enough, and after thinking about it I knew I would never look at my badge the same way and I also knew that Jenna's shooting would haunt me every time I pulled my gun and I could not be effective that way, so I put in my papers."

Alex said,

"We all miss you on the job even today but on a happy note we had some good times together."

Olivia nodded,

"I agree but I also think we are going to have even better times now, at least for us the job is not in the way. We can just be ourselves."

Fin and Elliott nodded as their food arrived. Elliott said to Alex,

"Since this is the first time I have seen you since you are back, how was the Congo?"

She smiled and nodded her head as she cut into her chicken,

"It was the most rewarding and eye opening experience I have ever had. Although I am glad to be back, I would do it again in a heartbeat. We'll have to get together one night before this is all over and I will show you some pictures."

Olivia said to Elliott,

"I've seen some of the pictures they are life changing."

Elliott said cutting into his veal,

"Kathleen has been talking about doing some third world work during the summer between terms and I honestly think it is a great idea. At one point she asked me if I would go with her on my summer hiatus..."

Fin said,

"Would you?"

He finished his mouth full of food, and said,

"I thought about it but decided if I was going to do it, I would do it on my own. When she asked me to go it was just after I got out of treatment and I think she was trying to help me find a new place in life for myself. I knew it wasn't for herself as she is far too independent."

Olivia said,

"Maybe it was her way of having a unique Father/Daughter experience."

Elliott had not thought of it that way,

"Maybe. I'll have to ask her."

Alex said,

"I was surprised when I heard you put in your papers, but I was even more surprised when you went into treatment voluntarily. But man you look good and so calm, it just blows me away."

Elliott smiled he said,

"You know all my previous experience with therapy has never been positive but with Sabrina, Dr. Ross, it was different. She got it and I think what really helped is she is my age, she gets the generational thing, we went through similar stuff, I actually feel like I am talking to a friend when I talk to her."

Fin said,

"You know Munch said to me the other day after seeing you, that he was like you when it came to therapy 'tell them what they want to hear and get out' but after seeing you go through such extensive therapy he may try it himself. But I have to say, I never knew he was such a diehard fan of Dr. Ross's."

They all laughed. Elliott said,

"This is the only thing I miss, the friendship and camaraderie we had."

Olivia sat listening to the conversation and enjoying the food. Fin said to her,

"Liv you are so quiet tonight and you look so relaxed. At least more relaxed than I have seen you in the last 2 years."

She nodded,

"I know I have been miserable at times, but El's retiring was like me losing my right arm. The only time I was okay was when I partnered with you or Munch, because we both trust you two."

Fin smiled and nodded,

"It was hard on the whole squad and then having 2 newbies come in made everything so final."

Elliott said,

"I will tell you, I miss all you guys but the job and IAB not so much. Right now, I am where I need to be."

Alex finished her meal and sat looking at him and then Olivia. She said,

"I have to say this, you two always made such a great couple I do not know how you never consummated your relationship sooner. Of all the cops I have ever worked with you two were the closest..."

Elliott said looking at Fin,

"Despite Munch's pool, I had a wife and the job took priority."

They all laughed. Then he added,

"By the way, you two could be considered a conflict of interest..."

Alex nodded,

"We are but..."

Fin finished her sentence,

"We saw how well it did not work for you two, we decided to say to hell with it and go for it."

Alex added,

"Besides we figured life is too short."

They laughed as the waitress took away their empty plates and asked,

"Dessert anyone?"

The four of them shook their heads no, as Fin said,

"Just the bill."

As Elliott and Fin got up to pay their bills, Alex asked Olivia,

"Where are you sitting?"

Olivia said,

"Row F seats 3 and 4. And you two?"

Alex laughed and showed her the tickets,

"Row F seats 1 and 2. Hell we ended up on a double date without even planning it."

Olivia laughed. She said,

"I actually thought that Elliott would find a way to bail out on this tonight, but I am not sure which of us likes the Symphony more. What about Fin?"

Alex laughed,

"Well he told me because he loves me he would make the sacrifice and dress up like a penguin and go listen to elevator music. But I have to say the fact that Elliott is going might help matters, he sees himself as the same macho type guy as Elliott."

Olivia laughed,

"I promise you Elliott is not as macho as he or anyone else thinks. Just don't tell him I told you."


	25. Olivia's Dream

**A/N: Huffington Post Live is probably one of my favourite interviews with Chris Meloni, i****t is from June 4, 2013, and I am adding it because in the first 10 minutes he talks about SVU and I think what he stops himself from saying around the 7 minute mark is telling, but it is also where I got some of the info in this story. I am using it as a point of reference, if you go to huffpost live and search Chris Meloni it comes up. I originally put in the link but it won't link due to the Fanfiction site, so I removed it and just put in how to find it. Sorry.**

After the Symphony, the four friends went out for a nightcap. Elliott quietly said to Fin,

"You have a good nap."

Fin shot him a look as Elliott laughed,

"All I will say is, it is a good thing you don't snore or the horn section would have had competition."

Fin laughed looking over at Alex who was busy talking to Olivia. As they finished their drinks and were saying their good nights, Alex said,

"You know since the Symphony is something you and I like more than the guys do, next time we should plan an official double date and go somewhere they want to go."

Fin looked at Elliott and winked,

"Remember that Swing Club, where you and Liv played a married couple to find out who stabbed Jerry Bullard, I think that would be a cool double..." As he felt a hand squeeze his arm he said in defeat, "or maybe not."

**Back at Olivia's Apartment**

Olivia said as she put her handbag and keys down,

"I really enjoyed myself this evening."

As she felt him put his arms around her waist she asked,

"Did you have as much fun as you seemed to?"

She felt him nod against her hair,

"Absolutely. I was looking forward to a whole night alone with you, but I have to say it was fun double dating with Alex and Fin, even though it was not how the evening was suppose to go."

She placed her hands on his arms and lightly stroked them as she leaned into him and said seductively,

"Well you are all mine tonight and since you showed me your dream the other night, I didn't forget it is my turn to show you mine tonight."

She felt his breath get deeper and faster on her neck as he circled it with his tongue, she turned herself around to face him and said,

"Hey! This is my dream remember?"

He loosened his arms just enough to see her face completely and smiled. He said,

"I remember and believe me I am all yours..."

_**The high powered telescope had a clear line of vision from one building to another. The moon was shining brightly. With the way her apartment was lit, all open spaces were in clear access. Watching them kiss just added fuel to an already hot fire...**_

As he removed his jacket, Olivia started to unbutton his shirt, she pressed her body to his feeling for his soon to become apparent bulge. Suddenly there was bang outside the building, the cop in them both rushed to the window to see what was going on, she looked down and as he looked up. As he looked up he thought he saw the faintest and briefest of flashes, not like a gunshot flash but like a light on metal. He then looked down as Olivia said,

"Just a car backfiring."

He said as he saw the flash again,

"Good but Liv, look across at that building same floor as us last window. I have seen 2 flashes, similar to light on metal. Not a camera flash but I am not sure what it is."

She looked at it and said,

"I don't see it..."

She suddenly said,

"Wait I do see it. Last time I saw anything like that it was a telescope. Remember the kids in the Astronomy group on the rooftop who found that dead body, I remember looking through the window up to where they were and seeing a flash on the rim from the moon."

Elliott said,

"Well if that is across from us who would want to watch you."

She said going to the bedroom,

"I don't know but I think we should find out."

He said,

"Whoa where are you going?"

She said,

"I am changing clothes and going to find out who the joker across from me is watching."

She came out of the bedroom in her jeans and sweatshirt, he grabbed her and said seductively,

"I think we should give the peeper a real show."

She looked at him and said as she got out of his grip and grabbed her keys,

"The only person I will be giving a show to is you and no one else."

She opened the door as he stood there dumbfounded, she turned and seeing him she said,

"Stabler are you coming? Don't forget to lock the door."

He shook his head, took a deep breath and said,

"Fine, I am coming Benson, but once you find out this is nothing, you will owe me big time."

_**'Wow that bang was so loud they heard it too' the scope showed very clearly as she looked down and he looked up. From the way he looked across at the other building a normal person would think they had gone undetected. 'This is the moment I have been waiting for, I feel like Stabler has found one of my positions.' Damn they are exiting the apartment...the scope moves downward, 'Damn they are on the street looking up at me'... 'They are entering my building'...'No time to clean up I need to get out of here'...**_

Elliott had to run to catch her on the elevator, once on he said,

"I don't have a gun."

She said realizing she did not have hers,

"I don't either, but really we should not need one. I plan on seeing where that scope is aimed and scare the hell of person behind it."

Elliott looked at her, he found her so sexy when she went all cop but knew enough to stay out of her way. He stood back and let her do her thing, once on the street they crossed to the other building and walked in as someone was leaving, she flashed her badge and they headed up the elevator. After a couple of stops they got off on the floor they wanted and headed for the apartment, Olivia knocked on the door and waited, there was no answer. She knocked again and said,

"NYPD open up."

Still no answer she tried the door knob, it turned, she looked at Elliott, he said,

"We have come this far might as well continue..."

She opened the door wider just as Elliott heard a scraping noise, he pushed past her and ran into the apartment saying,

"NYPD does anyone need help?"

He heard a bang like someone jumping on a metal step. He headed for the bedroom and sure enough someone had taken the fire escape, he yelled to Olivia,

"The fire escape, I'm going to give chase we're going up."

She yelled back,

"I'll take the stairs."

Elliott got to the roof first, he saw the slight hooded figure run to the edge and stand looking down,

"Stop NYPD, why you running? I just want to talk to you."

Elliott slowly moved towards the lone figure, assessing his next move, when the figure turns slightly towards him and says in a muffled voice,

"Don't come any closer or I will jump."

Elliott raised his hands,

"I am unarmed and I won't come any closer. Just tell me how I can help you."

_**He's unarmed? Well that helps this situation, if I go after him it would be one on one and with my self defense courses I could take him or at the very least do some harm...**_

The figure slowly started to turn around, Elliott had no idea if it was a direct drop to the ground or if there was a landing of sorts and he was in no hurry to find out. He already had his once in a life time experience of being thrown off a roof top, he remembered when he had gone to make an apology and next thing he knew he in the hospital, mind you it wasn't a 10 storey building but it was far enough off the building to break a rib or two. He had no intention of that happening again, as he continued to slowly move forward the figure moved just enough back to dropkick Elliott to the ground, Elliott got his arms up at the last minute but just a little too late. He got up as the figure started to run away, as Elliott started to give chase the figure ran past the exit door to the other side of the roof, as Elliott set himself in high gear to catch up Olivia came running out the exit door and followed Elliott, who saw the figure get to the edge and look back for a second. Elliott took advantage of the hesitation and leaped at the figure who in that moment moved just enough for Elliott to miss his target and fast enough that Elliott could not slow down causing his momentum to take him over the edge...

As he flew over the edge he tried to grab the cement ledge but missed it as he fell he heard Olivia's screams...

_**Watching her scream as her partner and lover flew over the edge should have been enough to end this game, considering if he landed right he would be dead but unfortunately it was not enough. One down, one to go...**_


	26. The Aftermath

Olivia watched as Elliott chased the figure down and as he went to grab the moving hoodie, it moved to the left and Elliott lost balance as he tried to stop his high speed chase and ended up going over the edge. Olivia let the figure go and ran to the edge and looked over it, she saw him laying 2 stories down on a flat roof on his back. She screamed his name as she took out her phone to dial 911,

"ELLIOTT! ELLIOTT CAN YOU HEAR ME."

He did not make a move, she looked for a way down to him through the now falling tears that were blurring her vision. She wiped them enough to see the fire escape, she kept saying,

"Please god let him be okay. He just came back to me, please don't take him away already."

She got down beside him and felt for a pulse, he had a very faint one. She heard the 911 operator, she gave them the 1013 officer down code and her badge number, they sent an ambulance right away along with uniformed officers. She knew someone would call Cragen, she stayed with him on the flat roof and talked to him,

"You didn't have to jump off a roof to avoid experiencing my dream..."

She heard a whole lot of sirens, a minute later she saw the lights, she screamed,

"Up here. We are up here."

One of the uniformed officers saw her and signalled that they would be right up, within minutes the EMTs were on the flat roof checking Elliott out. She kept talking to him even though she was not sure he could hear her. She didn't want him to be alone,

"You are going to be okay. I love you."

She felt a hand on her shoulder and a familiar voice say,

"Liv, let the EMTs do their job."

She looked up, it was Fin who said,

"This is what going to the Symphony made him do..."

She laughed and said as she wiped her tears,

"Actually no, he seriously really liked it."

Fin said,

"What are you two doing up here?"

She told him the whole story about what had happened minutes before. She then said,

"We need to check the apartment where the telescope is. Elliott thinks there is something going on there, we need to know who is being watched."

After putting a collar around his neck and carefully putting him on a back board, he was strapped to the gurney that the EMTs had brought onto the flat roof through a door off the end of a hallway on the 6th floor. Elliott had not regained consciousness, Olivia looked at Fin and said,

"I'm riding with him to the hospital. Can you check out the apartment and please take any pictures you can so we can see what we are up against. I also want to know which other apartments that telescope could be focusing on."

Fin said just Munch showed up,

"We got this, go."

She nodded and left. Munch being Munch said,

"What was Elliott doing trying to be Superman by leaping off tall buildings?"

Fin came back with,

"No Colonel Hardy without the helicopter."

**At the Hospital**

They got to Mercy General in record time, Elliott was wheeled to a cubical in the ER. The nurses started stripping him and putting his clothes in a plastic hospital garment bag, the doctors ordered a full body CAT Scan since he was still unconscious and they needed to know what if anything was broken, he had so much bruising they could not tell. Olivia sat and waited while they did the scan, Captain Cragen came in followed by the 6 Recruits, Olivia looked at him and when seeing the Recruits she gestured towards them and asked,

"Captain?"

Cragen said,

"How is he doing?"

She shook her head,

"I don't know they are doing a full body CAT Scan to see what is broken."

Cragen asked,

"Why were you two on the roof and how did he fall off?"

Olivia looked at the worried Captain, she knew he thought of both of them as his own, she pulled all of them into a waiting room and told them the story, leaving out the part that they had just come from a date and were about to live out her fantasy. She ended with the fact that Fin and Munch were searching the apartment and would return with pictures of what they saw and found. By the time she was done the orderlies were bringing Elliott back from the Scan, they rolled him back into the cubical, he no longer had the neck brace on. The doctor came out and said,

"Detective Benson?"

Olivia stood up as she was still listed as his emergency contact,

"Doctor how is he?"

The doctor said surprised,

"Well I would say very lucky. He has a sprained ankle, a double fracture between his left elbow and wrist, two broken ribs on his left side and a whole lot of bruising all over his body, he will not be jumping off any more buildings any time soon. I am just about to set his arm and bandage his ribs."

Cragen asked,

"Doc if there is enough room in that little room for these 6 students who he is teaching to be SVU officers I think they should get to see what they will go through if they decide to jump off a roof."

Olivia knowing Elliott would not be fully dressed for his dressings said,

"Capt with the amount of dressings and casting..."

He interrupted her saying,

"Liv, there is no room for vanity when we have a teachable moment at hand."

And with that he led the Recruits into the room with Olivia following. Elliott was awake and had oxygen on when he saw Olivia she mouthed,

"I'm sorry."

He was lying on the gurney in his boxers with only a sheet covering that portion of his body the rest was nude for the casting and dressings, the black and blue bruising on his body was fully visible and there was a lot of it. He said upon seeing the Captain and all his recruits,

"Sorry for interrupting your weekends."

They all looked at him in different stages of surprise, as none had ever seen him so exposed. Officer Sanchez said,

"I have never seen so many bruises on anyone in all my life."

Elliott said to Cragen,

"No offense Officers but why bring them in for this Captain?"

Cragen looked at him sternly and said,

"Well Stabler, when teaching the job they need and get to see it all, the good, the bad and this. Besides as I told Detective Benson when she protested this is a teachable moment and you are the teacher."

Cragen had seen Elliott through shootings, stabbings, being thrown through a window, bombings, being pushed off a roof, stabbed with pens. He had to admit that all though he had the squads highest closure rate and the biggest reason the squad was considered Elite he was also his most injured, which as Doc Huang had explained with Elliott's go get them attitude it was bound to happen. Olivia told Elliott she had filled everyone in on what had happened and that Fin and Munch were at the apartment and would take pictures. Elliott said,

"What happened to the suspect?"

Liv said,

"Got away."

Elliott asked,

"Did you see if they were a girl or guy? I think it was girl, but man oh man she was quick."

The doctor came back in and set Elliott's arm causing tears to roll down his cheeks. Chester said,

"Doc are you not going to freeze him first?"

The doctor said,

"No. We put it back in place after the CT Scan, while Detective Stabler was still unconscious, and I was just making sure it did not move since he is now awake."

He looked at Elliott,

"Sorry Detective."

Elliott said as he took the sheet and wiped the tears, exposing his boxers,

"I have had more painful injuries before. Don't worry about me."

Marlow asked,

"Teach, why didn't you stop running? If its okay to ask questions right now."

Cragen said,

"It's okay he's not going anywhere for a while and besides I'd like to know the answer to that myself, Teach."

Elliott winced as the doctors held his arm to wrap it getting it ready for the cast, he answered,

"I was running too fast and I tried to stop but my forward motion sent me over the side before I realized what had happened. The next thing I remember is waking up and being pulled out of the CAT Scan machine."

Bennett and Sanchez, being the only women in the group, had commented on how well built Elliott was six months ago when they first started, at that time they could only imagine getting this type of view. Bennett said to Olivia,

"Have you seen Teach like this often over the years?"

Olivia thought about it and answered,

"About 7 or 8 times. He is like a cat with 9 lives."

Cragen said,

"If that is the case than I think you have used them all up."

Elliott said looking directly at his students, as the blue fiberglass cast was being applied,

"Two lessons here, 1. run fast enough to catch your perp, but not so fast you can't stop on a dime; and 2. know how far the fall before you jump. Now I was running too fast to stop but I never intended to go over the side. On a side note, injuries are part of the job but when you have a good partner that you can trust and be in sync with the injuries are less of an issue, for me I am here right now because Olivia knew what to do and acted fast."

Chester asked,

"The other thing is unless I live with my partner they are not always going to be there, which begs the question why were you two together on a Saturday night when we weren't working?"

Cragen said knowing the answer,

"That IS a great question."

Olivia said,

"We had some unfinished business to take care of."

Brown added,

"Which included the Symphony..."

Olivia and Elliott both looked at him and he said,

"I was there with my friend, he loves it. We were in seats Z 1 and 2. You were in seats F 3 and 4..."

He stopped as everyone was looking at him. He shrugged,

"A big part of police work is observation as Detectives Stabler and Benson have demonstrated tonight with that being the reason they were on the back side of the roof of the building across from hers. He was still in his tux..."

He stopped right there as Elliott interrupted him and looked at him closely,

"My clothes are not visible right now, how do you know that I was wearing my tux?"

He hesitated. Olivia turned to him and said,

"Answer the question Officer Brown."

Brown looked at Marlow, who slightly nodded. Elliott said seeing the exchange,

"I am a 25 year veteran of the police force, I know you two are a couple and really I don't care. How do you know so much about tonight when you were not there? Or were you?"

_**Time was ticking away so fast, one could hear a pin drop. This was so unexpected...**_


	27. GC: The Final Days

**A/N: Thank you for all your reviews. I am glad you all are enjoying this journey...and so it continues...**

**.**

In two days he would be leaving the home he has known for the past 12 months, he was so proud of himself because for the first time ever he had actually asked for and accepted help. He knew that if George had not set him up with Sabrina he would not be here right now, he would still be lingering wondering what went wrong. He sat in the armchair of his room looking around at the pictures Eli had drawn for him and he had happily hung on the walls, he looked at the framed pictures of his kids that sat on the table beside his chair. At first he had tried to convince himself that he was getting help for their sakes, but Sabrina in her infinite wisdom knew he was doing it for himself and she treated him like that. She had held him accountable for all his actions, not allowing him to blame anyone for them but himself. She had asked the hard questions that others were afraid to because he blew up so easy and she made him answer them, he got mad at her but she never backed down. In the end, he had come to realize he was much more broken than he ever thought possible, the only situation now he had to fix was his relationship with Olivia – if there was a relationship left to fix.

There was a knock on his door which pulled him out of his thoughts, he called,

"Come on in."

Sabrina pointed her head in and seeing him sitting in the chair asked,

"You okay?"

He said nodding,

"Yes I am. I was just thinking about how far I have come this past year, how am I ever going to properly Thank you for all you have done for me."

She said walking into the room,

"Seeing you sitting here with a natural smile is thanks enough, besides you did all the work I just helped you find the right paths."

He looked at her and knew she would never take credit but still he felt like he had made a friend for life. She said,

"I am here to finalize your release. We need to do a full medical and an end of in patient treatment evaluation. I realize we will be seeing each other twice a week in the outside world but I need to close this chapter."

He nodded, she had already prepared him for this. They headed out of his room and down the hall to an examination room, in there Peggy took all the necessary bloodwork and urine samples which would be sent down to the lab in the clinic to be tested to make sure all was normal. Dr. Stevens who was also a GP, came in and handed Elliott a robe to change into, once done Dr. Stevens gave him a full physical. When the Doctor was done poking and prodding, Elliott got dressed and he and Sabrina went for a cup of coffee to finish his release papers. He was not the only one done with treatment there were 4 others and because it was a graduation, the cooks were making a celebration of it. Elliott was really well liked by the staff at the clinic, the cooks always made sure they had the treats he liked on hand. Sabrina had even commented and laughed at how the staff was spoiling him, he had asked her if it would get them in trouble and she had shook her head saying,

"Absolutely not. This is your home for now and they are making sure you feel like it is, I have no issue with them doing their jobs."

She had added,

"I just think it is cute the way they have taken a shine to you and the fact that you really do not see yourself like others do."

He really would miss the place which is something that he would never have said or suspected 12 months ago. He grabbed a brownie and another cup of coffee as he walked through the dining room, as he was heading out to the patio. As he opened the door he heard a familiar voice,

"Elliott..."

Elliott turned and saw Captain Cragen and Dr. Huang heading towards them. He closed the door and put his coffee on the nearest table and shook both men's hands and gave Cragen a small hug. Elliott said,

"What brings you two out here on what is my second last day here?"

Cragen said,

"Well that is what brings me here..."

Elliott saw the envelope in his former Captain's hand and said,

"Do you gentlemen want a coffee before we go outside to talk?"

Both men nodded. As they poured their coffee and started heading outside, Elliott grabbed another brownie which surprised Cragen since Elliott was not known as a sweet eater, Elliott said,

"You two have to try these things they are amazing. The food is so good here I am surprised I am not 100 lbs overweight."

George laughed and said,

"I know Sabrina's work out routine, and believe me you can eat whatever you want considering the fact that you can keep up with her you have no worries about being overweight."

They all laughed as Elliott headed outside and to a table in the corner away from traffic. After sitting Cragen said as he handed Elliott the envelope,

"Let's get the formal stuff over with, One PP asked me if I had kept in touch with you and I said yes. They asked me to give you this to think about, I knew I was coming today so I agreed."

Elliott opened the envelope as Sabrina watched from the window of her office. One PP had warned her about the visit and what it entailed. This would be his first real test and she wanted to watch him from a distance, she also had not told him yet that the Police Commissioner had called her about his progress, not asking for any confidential details just wondering what progress he had made. Elliott pulled the papers out of the envelope and read them, seeing what they were he said to Cragen,

"Did you know about this?"

Cragen said,

"I had heard rumours but nothing for sure."

Elliott looked at both men and said,

"One PP is offering me the job as lead instructor in their new SVU training program. They also want me to teach hand to hand and do officer recertifications in the same. It says here that I have a wealth of invaluable information that needs to be shared with new recruits, they need to be taught first hand and they see me as the perfect person to do that considering my years of service and current situation."

He looked at both men and asked,

"I never told One PP I was coming here after I put in my papers."

Cragen said,

"A while back when they mentioned this possibly happening your name came up more than once and when they asked me about you I said I didn't know because I hadn't seen you. They asked why not considering our relationship, so I told them you had checked yourself in for inpatient treatment with Dr. Sabrina Ross."

Elliott was a little annoyed, and seeing this Cragen said,

"Elliott do you want to know what they said about it?"

He shook his head and answered,

"They probably said it was about time..."

Cragen interrupted him saying,

"No. They were thrilled because they know Dr. Ross's reputation and they knew once she got through to you, you would be better than before and perfect for this job. They were also shocked that she would be dealing with you considering she usually deals with the Feds only. I explained that Doc Huang here talked to her and did not have to twist her arm far to get her to do it because you also have a really good reputation with the Feds."

George spoke up,

"I had no idea how good until you took that human trafficking case away from me, when you told me I was not the only one who had the Feds on speed dial."

Elliott laughed and said,

"I remember asking Fin how you took it and he said I should stay clear considering he didn't know you knew half the words he heard you say."

George chuckled and added,

"I asked a few agents about you at that time and that was when they told me how many times they had used you because you were a go getter and that if they ever had a job opening that gave them a chance to scoop you from the local PD they would take it."

Elliott laughed. Cragen said,

"Is this offer something you would consider taking?"

Elliott nodded,

"You know what, I would consider it. It would be fun and a challenge. Maybe a little too close to One PP but I could deal with that."

Cragen said,

"For the record, One PP had no problem with your work it was your anger they had issues with and they figure that once Doc Ross got done with you any anger you had left would be healthy."

He nodded. George said,

"What happens after tomorrow?"

Elliott said,

"Well firstly my kids have been looking at apartments for me and Maureen thinks she has found 1 I will like so I am going to check it out with her."

Cragen said,

"No chance with Kathy?"

Elliott said,

"No. When love warps to hate, it is better to walk away. Besides she has moved on and has a new boyfriend, Jeff. Eli really likes him, as for the rest of the kids they are all on their own and I just need a place with a spare room so they can come and crash if needed. But especially for Eli, since I signed the divorce papers a few months ago and they have been filed making the divorce final, we agreed to joint custody. We both get what we want."

Both men nodded. Elliott looked at the papers again and said,

"I really never thought about going back to the department."

George asked,

"What had you thought about doing?"

He said,

"Just being a full time dad for now. Do all the things with Eli that I never got to do with my other kids."

He shrugged and added,

"Or since the Feds have given me their open door policy maybe I will check my options there."

Cragen asked,

"Not that it is our business but what about Olivia?"

Elliott looked at back between both men and said almost pondering,

"That is a good question..."


	28. Let the Game Begin

**A/N: Chapter 25 has been updated to remove the interview link since it is not working due to the fact that FanFiction does not allow links which is not in the guidelines. I have replaced the link with the information needed to find the interview. Sorry about the inconvenience the interview is relevant to part of this story. And as always Thank you for the great reviews they are very much appreciated. And so the journey continues...**

_**10 years is literally a lifetime ago, our memories are different from reality and no matter how much you research people what you find does not always show things the way they are...his phone rang interrupting his thoughts,**_

_**"**__**Hello."**_

_**Voice on the other end,**_

_**"**__**Hey its me, I am watching the news what is going on? And are you okay?"**_

_**Nodding,**_

_**"**__**I am fine but was almost caught, you didn't tell me Stabler had that kind of speed but in the end it worked out for me. I moved to the left he couldn't stop and went over the edge. I don't know if he survived the fall, but Benson has quite a set of lungs on her when she screamed."**_

_**Voice,**_

_**"**__**Why were they there?"**_

_**Shrugging,**_

_**"**__**I don't know. All I know is that one minute they are in her apartment kissing and making out and the next minute there is a car backfiring down the street and they are both looking out the window, he looked up and she looked down. He said something to her and she looked up, she ran to the bedroom and changed her clothes, it was almost like she had to insist checking it out because he reluctantly followed her out. I see them exit her building and the next minute I hear NYPD banging on my door. I took off up the fire escape, they broke in and he followed me and she took the stairs up."**_

_**Voice,**_

_**"**__**Did either of them see your face?"**_

_**Thinking,**_

_**"**__**I don't think so. He talked to me but in general, no gender preference. How are things are your end?"**_

_**Voice,**_

_**"**__**A lot more trickier than I first thought. I did not expect he would have a shadow other than Benson with him."**_

_**Confused,**_

_**"**__**What do you mean?"**_

_**Voice, **_

_**"**__**His shrink, Dr. Ross. She is with him on this case. She is gone for the weekend and that is why I figured this would be the perfect time to exact my revenge."**_

_**Questioningly,**_

_**"**__**She is a shrink what difference would that make?"**_

_**Voice getting annoyed,**_

_**"**__**You do not understand, she is FBI trained, I know what she is capable of and believe me you think Stabler is a hard man to kill, you add her to the mix and this is never going to happen. Believe me for all he says he knows about her, he really knows nothing. Let me just say, the books and public speaking is all a cover for just how dangerous she can be. If this plan does not work this weekend I don't know when I will get another chance."**_

_**Scared at what was being said,**_

_**"**__**What do you need me to do now?"**_

_**Voice,**_

_**"**__**Hold tight. I will see what I can find out from the hospital and I will get back to you. Just keep an eye on her place, they are keeping their relationship tightly under wraps and no one seems to have caught on."**_

_**Again questioning,**_

_**"**__**Why not expose it?"**_

_**Voice,**_

_**"**__**Because they are not partners anymore and One PP will not care. Besides I do not want to break them up, I want them, especially him destroyed."**_

_**There was sudden silence on the other end of the phone, **_

_**"**__**Hello."**_

_**Voice,**_

_**"**__**I have to go I will keep in touch..." and in an almost whisper, "when the scope is clear keep watching."**_


	29. In the Examination Room

The recruits looked at each other as the more experienced cops were watching Marlow and Brown, Fin said,

"Considering what happened tonight you two really need to explain."

Brown nodded as he looked at Elliott. He said to Olivia,

"I live in on the top floor of the building next to yours. Our apartment has walk out access to the roof where I have a private patio. We like to go out there on warm nights and have a nightcap and look down on the street and over at Central Park as we have a good view of it. We were not stalking or spying on you. Yes I had seen you go in and out of the building sometimes, I also have seen you in the bodega down the street, but I did not know who you were until I entered your squadroom."

Marlow added,

"As for the Symphony, we have Seasons tickets."

Olivia nodded as Elliott said,

"So you saw everything that happened tonight then?"

They both nodded, as Marlow said,

"I told Mike that I had noticed a telescope in the window and even commented on how since we spent time on the roof that we should invest in one so we could check out the stars."

Elliott asked,

"Since you two are so observant have you seen the person behind the telescope around before tonight?"

Brown said,

"What we do know is that there are two people who live there, a girl and a guy, they just moved in a few days ago, I remember commenting on how strange it was that they did not seem to move very much in, just 3 big trunks. We now know what was in one of them."

Fin asked,

"Why did you find that strange?"

Brown answered,

"Because when we first looked at the area we looked at those apartments and they were very spacious but not very expensive and not well kept. I remember thinking how strange it was. So we looked at Detective Benson's building and the only one available was a bachelor on the first floor. We went to the one we are in now and got a great deal, everything we wanted and an outside living space. Rent is high but when we split it in two we end up each paying what the bachelor apartment would have cost."

Cragen looked at Fin and Munch and asked,

"Did you two find anything in the apartment?"

They both nodded and Munch said,

"Yes we did and we took a lot of pictures and honestly we would rather put the pictures on the big screen because El, Liv you would not believe what we found if we told you."

Cragen looked at Elliott and said,

"Well since you will be laid up for a few days maybe we should see some now."

Elliott shook his head taking in all the information he had just heard and said,

"No I just have a broken arm and a couple of busted ribs, I am fine and the pictures can wait til tomorrow. I can see them with everyone else. Tonight I am tired and am going home to bed, besides we still need to find Babs rapist, so that we can be back at it tomorrow."

Olivia did not even try to discourage him she just shook her head she knew Elliott very rarely took sick days and she knew that until Babs rapist was caught, he would not start even after falling off a building.

Chester asked,

"Are we expected to be there tomorrow considering we are suppose to have the weekend off?"

Cragen said,

"Once you get into a real SVU unit there might be cases that keep you up for days."

Fin, John and Olivia all nodded. Elliott said,

"The point of this field trip was for all of you to see the job first hand and this is it. So I will see all of you tomorrow morning at 8:00 am. Now get out of here so I can get dressed and get home."

They all said their good nights and left expect for Cragen and Olivia. Once it was just the three of them Cragen said,

"I know you are not part of the unit anymore Elliott but for this case I am your boss and I know I am talking to myself but take tomorrow off, let your bruises heal."

Elliott shook his head and said,

"No thanks Captain. My recruits need to know what the job is really about and unless I am ordered not to work by a doctor I am going in tomorrow..."

_**He always was a stubborn s.o.b, but that is why he is so good at the job. No one had seen the extra set of eyes and ears watching from behind the linen shelf in the hallway. But those eyes realized it was time to go or get caught...**_

**Back at Olivia's**

Olivia knew that since she lived the closest Elliott would be spending the night at her place. As she unlocked the door, she turned on the light as she walked through with him slowly following behind her. He closed the door and locked it, she turned and said,

"Since you are probably as sore as all those bruises look, I will give you the bed and I will take the couch."

He came face to face with her and said,

"Do you have any idea how much I have been looking forward to you showing me your dream?"

He put his good arm around her and pulled her close, but not too close because although he did not want to admit it he hurt like hell. She looked at him as he landed a kiss on her forehead, he said,

"I heard what you said when you got to me on the roof about 'I didn't have to jump to get out of you showing me your dream'."

She blushed slightly and said trying not to let him get the best of her,

"Good to know that you can hear when you are unconscious..."

They both chuckled. He added,

"As for me taking the bed and you the couch. Sorry I have waited as long as you have to be able to share a bed with you and it is going to start tonight."

She argued,

"But the bruises I don't want to accidentally hit them or bump them during the night."

He said taking her hand and leading her to her bedroom,

"We have a lot of nights to get caught up on, so let's go Beautiful."

That was twice he had called her Beautiful, both times catching her by surprise but giving her a sense of belonging and comfort. She headed to the bed and rolled down the comforters, Elliott stripped down to his boxers for the second time that night as she watched him and getting changed herself, she found it so sexy. Olivia went to put on her night gown and Elliott looked at her and said,

"No clothes."

She watched him as he removed his boxers and proceeded to get into bed he lay on his back completely exposed for her, she removed her undergarments and being in the same state of undress as he was she got into bed on his right side as to be away from his broken ribs and blue cast. She leaned over to kiss him and felt his tongue on her lips, she pulled away and looked at him he said,

"I may not be in a position to be on top and in control but its your dream and I assume you want that part."

She hesitated,

"I don't want to hurt you anymore than you already are."

He said, pushing her hair behind her ear,

"I am sure there are other ways we can be intimate."

She smiled and nodded seductively,

"Oh yes there are and that is part of my dream."

**The next morning**

Olivia had woken up early and looked over at Elliott who was still asleep, he had not moved. Although he tried to tell her he was not tired he had fallen asleep just as she had started to stroke him, one would think she would have been upset but she wasn't – she wanted his full attention when she shared her dream. She also knew he needed his sleep, as she lie beside him watching him sleep she smiled to herself at how innocent and little boyish he looked as he took his slow even breaths. In the last 5 years of their partnership if anyone had told her that this is what he looked like sleeping she would not have believed them, in those years he was so angry and just plain unhappy for much of them. But now seeing him so calm and so relaxed it was hard for her to believe that he was the same man. She knew he was but Dr. Ross had really worked some magic. She lie there looking again thinking about what he would have told his Doctor about her, about them, their partnership, but more than anything she knew his distrust for Shrinks, although, if she really thought about it the only Shrink he actually really was comfortable with was Doc Skoda early on in their partnership and later her old friend, Dr. Rebecca Hendrix whom he had surprisingly confided in Olivia that he had gone to talk to her and it was the first time he had let himself cry, she had never asked why but she was always glad he did. But now as Olivia watched Elliott start to wake up she wondered what was so different about Dr. Ross that made him trust her enough to open up completely or had he really changed that much. Her thoughts were interrupted as she felt his hand on hers, he said,

"Good morning Beautiful, is every thing alright?"

She brought herself back to reality and said,

"Morning El, everything is fine. I was just thinking."

He continued to stroke her hand, and said sheepishly,

"If its about last night, I am so sorry I did not realize how tired I was..."

She stopped him by putting her fingers on his lips, she said,

"It is not about last night, I am okay with that. We have many more nights ahead of us where falling off buildings will not be part of them. I was thinking about you and wondering what made you obviously open up completely to Dr. Ross."

He started to sit up and his ribs stopped him. He fell back on the bed, he said,

"I'll answer that question but I need to use the washroom first."

She gingerly helped him off the bed and to the washroom. Once done he got dressed and they headed off to the kitchen where he could smell coffee, he looked at her, she smiled,

"Technology, brewer on a timer."

He smiled and nodded. He sat at her breakfast as she put a cup of coffee in front of him, he looked at her and said,

"To answer your question, I didn't at first but she knew that and could read right through me. She called me on my BS but the biggest difference was she is the female version of me. You know when I went for training with the bureau, I had heard her name mentioned. I never met her or even saw her but the stories were legendary. When I went to Huang I never expected him to send me to her, I figured I had lucked out, until Huang explained to me why he had asked her to help me. Then when I found out her history with PTSD I found myself wanting to tell my story and she wanted to hear it, and the more I talked the easier and more natural it felt and here we are."

She looked down at her coffee and then back at him. He asked taking her hand,

"You have another question so ask it."

She said,

"I am only wondering because of our current situation, but remember years ago the one time I got drunk and took Cassidy back to my place and we slept together and he wanted more and for me it was a one time deal?"  
He nodded, he remembered that conversation clearly only because of what he had almost revealed about himself. She continued,

"And you told me to be nice to him and let him down easy. You also said it happens but the way you said it I got the impression it was personal for you. And I remember all the stories you told me about Joe your first partner as a detective and then how surprised I was to meet Joe and find out she was a woman. She asked me if I ever slept with you and I said you were married and she said something to the effect of, "don't let that fool you". The way she said it made me think back to your comment..." She looked down embarrassed to be asking about it after all these years but she had to know. He said looking her in the eye,

"It was one time after a particularly rough case, we had been drinking she was all emotional I got her home safe, she invited me in one thing lead to another and we ended up in bed. She told me she needed me for one night, I had never been with another woman and poor judgement on my part took over. I never told Kathy, she was insecure enough with me having an older female partner. But I think she knew and did not want to confront it. Kind of like an 'don't ask don't tell'."

Olivia nodded but said,

"Which explains why she was always insecure about our partnership..."

Elliott nodded sadly. He added,

"I always regret that night, but it always was a reminder that I was being all the things I hated about my father."

Olivia nodded knowingly, she remembered when she met his mom, Bernie had told her that Joe was a cheater and that his vise was nurses. She felt Elliott's hand squeeze hers as he cleared his voice, he said,

"Liv, you and I had plenty of opportunities to sleep together and we never did, not because of my marriage or even the job. I always wanted you as my first and only lady, never as a mistress or the other woman."

She asked,

"But did Kathy know that?"

He shrugged,

"I don't know, but if she did she never let on. She always called you my work wife. But the thing that split us was the job, the long hours, my never being home and once I retired it was more than over, I guess it was 'a little too late'. The divorce papers were already drawn up, the best part is now she has what she wants, I am where I want to be and I am friends with the mother of my children."

She leaned over and kissed him. She had her answers and now she asked,

"We have time you hungry?"

He looked at the clock it was 6:45am he nodded and said,

"Let me help you."

Together they made bacon and eggs.

_**That was a close call last night, but first great move, now it is mine. Continue to grow your relationship, how well you really know each other might be the only thing that saves you if anything does...oh and by the way 'Happy Sunday'...**_


	30. The Apartment Tells Its Story

**A/N: Thank you for all your reviews, they are very much appreciated.**

As Elliott and Olivia walked into the Squad room. John said,

"Told you he really wouldn't take time off."

Elliott looked around and saw everyone was there, and like he and Olivia who were dressed in jeans and t shirts, they were all dressed casual except the recruits they were in full uniform. He said to them,

"You all get an A on your pop quiz just for being in uniform on your Sunday off."

Cragen walked in casually dressed and said to Elliott,

"How did you sleep?"

He nodded,

"Actually really well, still a little sore but I am okay."

Cragen said to John,

"John put up the photos."

Before he did he looked at Elliott and Olivia and said,

"These are very graphic and personal shots of what has gone on in Olivia's apartment the last few days. They leave nothing to the imagination. Are you sure?"

Elliott got his meaning right away as he looked at Olivia, she started to blush as she too got his meaning. She was about to say something when Dr. Huang walked in and said looking at Elliott's bruises and blue cast,

"I heard about last night are you two alright?"

Elliott and Olivia nodded. John continued,

"Hey Doc we are about to look at the pictures Fin and I got from the apartment yesterday. But are you two sure you are comfortable with openly looking at these pictures..."

Cragen said getting impatient,

"What is the hold up and why so cryptic?"

Olivia said looking at Elliott who just nodded,

"El and I are now a couple since he came back..."

Cragen interrupted,

"I have known that since the first morning he came in smelling like you."

Elliott was surprised. Cragen said,

"Babs was not the only one who noticed. But what does this have to do with..."

John put a picture in front of the Captain, who instantly blushed and stammered,

"Okay, I now understand."

John added,

"At least they are not hanging as solo photos in an art gallery for public viewing."

As Cragen looked at his two favourite detectives they both blushed and he laughed, he said,

"We are all big boys and girls here. So let's be adults and get moving on this."

Fin said,

"When we started taking pictures of the apartment we were surprised by some of the other pictures that were there. I think we should start with them first and if we need to show the more intimate shots we will but I don't think we will have to."

So John did, they had taken about 50 shots around the apartment, not only was there a high powered telescope there was also a high powered camera. Fin had taken the film from it and had it developed, as Elliott and Olivia looked at the pictures there were shots of Olivia alone and with him, going in and out of her building, there were shots of Olivia at her local bodega, there was even a shot of Brown and Marlow sipping wine on their outside patio looking out at the park, but the shots that surprised all of them the most were the shots of Babs, either coming out of her apartment, or going in. There were shots of her with guys and with women. There were shots of Babs with Olivia and Elliott at a rally that took place the first time they had met. There was a shot of Elliott smiling as he got into their sedan and Babs was being animated behind him, he assumed that was the shot of when she told him he had a big butt and need to exercise more, calling him Assy McBig Pants. There were even more recent shots of Babs, after her rape, the one shot that got Elliott's attention was the one of him, Olivia and their recruits arriving at Babs apartment and it had a caption that read, "Thank god it worked now let the games begin..." Elliott sat on Liv's desk and rubbed his face, Fin said,

"It looks like Babs rape was a set up to get you back into the open, El."

He nodded,

"But why Babs, The rapist never said a word about me to her."

Liv said,

"We are Allies in her LesBeStrong organization and it would only make sense that she would call you."

Elliott shook his head,

"No it wouldn't because I never attended any meetings after I left this squad. I never even saw Babs. Liv calling you makes sense..."

John said,

"How many times have we had people come in and request one of us if they are attacked? Especially if we have caught a previous attacker, and besides Elliott Babs took a real shine to you. The way she kissed you after you solved that case, she did say she would call you if anyone in her organization needed help again."

Olivia looked at Elliott and he knew what she was thinking she said,

"Who was in this room when she said that?"

Fin said,

"Me, Munch, the Cap'n, you two and Doc Huang."

Olivia said,

"All people we trust with no grudge against us, unless..."

She looked at them questioningly. Cragen said,

"We have too many years under our belts to even go there."

Elliott nodded, he said,

"So what we know so far is that I am being targeted by at least two unknown perps and they targeted me through Babs. The one piece of info that we have left to look at is the Sketch, John who did you identify it as?"

John put the sketch up with the information he had found, he put up the original case file also. He said.

"Okay here is the original case file and we know what happened there. Fin got the ACS files for the two kids when they went into foster care and as you know Elliott they stayed together. Now they are both aged out of the system and with the lawyer controlled family trust they got, each of them was able to go to college. To refresh, Sarah Anne Morgan was 12 years old and Nathan Micheal Morgan was 15 at the time. From what I could find, they were sent to a good foster home together and when Nathan aged out first, he took Criminology in College with a major in Crime Scene Investigation. He found a two bedroom apartment and worked to set it up for himself and his sister, he tried to get custody of his sister but the foster family and ACS did not back the request. From the court papers he had requested you, Elliott, testify on his behalf but you were a no show."

Elliott thought back and said,

"I don't ever remember being served or informed about that case."

Fin said,

"The court ruled your testimony unnecessary so even if you had gotten the request your testimony would not have helped."

Elliott nodded, and added,

"Maybe I should never have given them their request to stop seeing them..."

Olivia said touching his arm,

"Don't go there. They requested it..."  
He shook his head,

"Nathan requested it, Sarah just looked down at the floor, I never knew how she really felt about that decision. But I did go along with it. I guess this proves she didn't agree."

Cragen said,

"I remember that case and you two did more for them than was expected. There was nothing else you could do."

Elliott said,

"Some cases are harder to shake than others."

Olivia, Fin and John nodded. They all knew how personally Elliott had taken that case. Fin said,

"Sarah got into photography and had a few showings. I found these of her work..." He put them up on the screen, it was a collage, Olivia looked close at the picture there was a park scene with a baseball field. She asked as she pointed to a section of the picture,

"Can you blow up the bench scene right here?"

John did, it was blurry so he cleared the picture up and Olivia looked at Elliott, she said to him,

"Do you know when that was taken?"

He looked closer and then gasped, it was a photo of him at one of Eli's Tball games, he shook his head and said,

"That is Eli's Tball game, he started playing last year which is from when it looks like."

The whole picture was a collage, so John blew up many of the pictures and Elliott realized they were pictures from the last two years of his life. There were pictures of him jogging with Sabrina, one of him skipping rocks on the water from one of their talks, there was a picture of him sitting and talking to Maureen and Kathleen, there was another of him taking a plunge in the lake along with Richard. There was also a picture of him coming out of the Symphony with Elizabeth. He then felt himself getting faint, he had been stalked from a distance for the last two years, they seemed to be taken from about 5 year earlier as Olivia found some of them both at crime scenes. The collage was called, "Betrayed: A Look At Never Forgetting." The pictures were organized and placed in such a way that unless they were blown up the figures were unidentifiable, to the untrained eye it was amazing. Cragen said,

"Get TARU up here to see if there are any time stamps on these photos."

The recruits were watching very intently, Chester asked,

"So with all this information does that mean you think it is Sarah Morgan who raped Babs to get back at you Teach."

Elliott shrugged,

"Babs was not raped by a woman, but this collage clearly shows she is stalking me."

Fin said putting up a new collage,

"Elliott look at this one, look familiar..."

It was filled with pictures from the last couple of nights. Elliott said,

"Where did this come from?  
John said,

"It came from a website where photographers can upload their photos and sell them. It was uploaded about an hour ago, it is named, 'Game Changer'. If you notice it contains most of the pictures we found in the apartment."

Olivia asked,

"Did you check to see who was paying the rent for the apartment?"

Fin said,

"Yes it is being paid in cash anonymously and the name on the books is John Smith, but it is a fake and there are over 10,000 John Smiths in the 5 Boroughs."

Cragen said,

"Let's find this Sarah Anne Morgan, we need to find out how she fits into Babs rape and why you, Elliott."

_**They looked over at each other and both knew that their time frame was slowly shrinking to accomplish their endgame. If it was going to happen it had to happen now...especially since Stabler was not at full strength and Sabrina was still out of town. They had to use this to their advantage...**_


	31. Revisiting the Past

After getting all the information that was available to them Cragen told them to pack it in til Monday. Olivia said to Elliott,

"Coming to my place?"

He nodded for everyone in the squadroom's benefit, once in the car he said,

"Let's go to my place."

She looked at him surprised. He said,

"Of all the pictures we saw today none were of my apartment. I figure we can go there and have privacy, we can pick up some takeout before we get there."

She said,

"Let me stop at my place first and put together a bag that I can leave at your place."

He nodded and parked at the back of her building where he knew his stalker would not see him. She entered the front door alone and moved around the apartment as normal as she could. She knew from the pictures that only the top half of her apartment was seen and not the lower half of her door so she could move her bag with her feet out the door and the person taking her picture would not notice. She left the apartment and headed to the back door to give Elliott her bag, she then exited the front door in plain sight of the telescope and headed in the direction of the neighbourhood bodega, once inside she got 2 coffee and a quart of orange juice and left through the back door of the store. Elliott was waiting in the car, she got in, he said,

"I hope you don't mind, I ordered Chinese food while I was waiting for you. We can pick it up on our way."

She nodded,

"That sounds good."

She watched in her visor mirror to see if anyone was tailing them, she saw no one. They stopped for the Chinese take out and continued their journey to his place.

_**'What the hell?' the caller had said that both Stabler and Benson would be spending the night at her place. Now 1/2 hr after leaving her building with only her purse there was no sign of either one of them. Stabler lived in a building they could not do surveillance on without being seen or getting caught. His building was too out in the open. There was no way of knowing if that is where they went if they did not come back to Benson's.**_

Olivia had not been to his place, she had been to his family home and it was definitely decorated by a woman so she was looking forward to seeing what his taste was. He opened the door and after turning on the light by that door he stepped aside to let her enter first, he was nervous it was her first time to his place and he was not sure what she would think. She looked around and took in all the bold colours, burgundy, navy, and taupe, she looked at the walls, he had some nice art work and naturally he had a section of wall dedicated to his kids, there were individual pictures and a really nice group shot – she quietly admitted she was impressed. It was so neat and clean, but it had his smell, his comforting smell. Elliott watched her and was quite taken with how she really seemed surprised, it made him smile. He said,

"I take it this is not what you expected?"

She shook her head,

"No I expected empty walls and used furniture."

He laughed as he locked the door and put his keys in his pocket,

"Sorry to disappoint although I do have a bold style, the decorating is courtesy of my 3 girls, they did it while I was finishing up at Greenwood Clinic and when I got home I realized it really was me and kept it. I added a couple of paintings but for the most part it was their interpretation of me, and they nailed it."

Olivia nodded,

"I love it. It is really you though, bold and to the point."

He laughed,

"That is what my kids said too."

He then headed to the fridge as he put the bags of takeout on his counter, and asked,

"Are you hungry? I know I am..."

She nodded and said,

"Actually yes I am. We haven't eaten since breakfast."

She went up behind him as he took some plates out of the cupboard, she gently put her arms around his chest and whispered in his ear,

"I love you, you know."

He smiled, so happy that she was finally saying it. He said,

"I do know."

She asked as he turned to face her,

"How do you know?"

He smiled as he kissed her,

"Because I love you."

He put the plates down beside the bags and took her hand and led her to the couch, they sat facing each other as he reached over and pushed a lock of hair behind her ear, at the same time he ran his finger lightly over the outer edge of her ear causing her to let go of a small moan. She said as he leaned in to kiss her,

"What about the food?"

He moved to her neck,

"We can heat it up if it gets cold."

She pulled away with a look of concern,

"What about your ribs?"

He kissed the small of her neck and whispered,

"My ribs will be fine."

She put her head back to give him greater access to her neck and said,

"Let me do the work, in case I forgot to tell you, in part of my dream I control what happens and do the work."

He put away a little surprised, but not really,

"Control away Beautiful."

He started to breath heavy, as she opened his shirt she gently ran her fingers over this chest causing him to gasp and her fingers went to work on his most sensitive areas. He felt his pants getting tight and moved to get more comfortable, she noticed and moved her hand over his zipper and smiled when she felt his growing bulge. She in the 12 years as his partner never would have imagined how easily he could get aroused, or how quickly he could be aroused. She continued to gently stroke his chest with one hand as the other opened his pants, she knew he had gone commando because it was easier with the cast. She looked into his eyes which were getting dark and very sexy, he was moaning very lightly, she started to stroke him causing his moans to get deeper and move towards a groan. His breathing started to get faster and deeper, sending sensations through her own body, she felt her core getting wet, the more she stroked him the thicker he got and as her finger ran over his tip she felt its wetness. The one thing she had learnt about him in their one time together that he could hold off if he had too, she did not want him too. She stood up and removed her clothes, she helped him up and as she did his pants fell off his hips and landed in a pool at his feet she helped him remove his shirt as he stepped out of this pants. She pulled up a kitchen chair and had him sit down she straddled his hips and covered him with her wet warmth, she put her arms around his neck and as she kissed him she ran her tongue over his lips and he willing let her enter, as their tongues connected and fought for control, she started to move up and down on him. He felt her wetness cover his member and before he took her tongue he said hoarsely,

"I have condoms in the bedroom."

She answered,

"No need remember I am on the pill."

He sat back and let her ride out part of her dream, by the time they were done he had felt her orgasm at least 3 times along with his own. Once she pulled off him she said,

"Well the earth moved..."

Remembering when he had first heard her make this comment years earlier in their partnership. He added his part with a smile,

"And I saw stars."

When she was done, she put on her bathroom, and handed him his, as he slipped it on he said,

"Now let's eat."

_**Voice on the phone,**_

_**"**__**What do you mean they did not come back to her place?"  
Sarah Anne Morgan,**_

_**"**__**You heard me, she came back went to her bedroom and then headed out, he never entered the apartment and I didn't see him out front. She left to go to the bodega and that is the last time I saw her."**_

_**Voice,**_

_**"**__**Dr. Ross is back tomorrow and if we do not do this tonight once she sees all the photos they have and your collages she will not leave him alone til we are caught."**_

_**Sarah,**_

_**"**__**I don't even know what tipped them off that I was across the street."**_

_**Voice,**_

_**"**__**The night of the backfiring car Benson saw a flash of light on metal when they both were looking out the window to see where the noise came from. When she mentioned it to Stabler he looked over and saw it too."**_

_**Sarah,**_

_**"**__**I promise I really thought I was being careful. I mean even after you told me where he was getting treatment and how to get there, I was able to take pictures from my canoe in the middle of the lake and not be caught."**_

_**Voice,**_

_**"**__**But he was not expecting anyone to be looking for him. Besides for the revenge you want and the revenge I need, you have done an excellent job."**_

_**Sarah,**_

_**"**__**You think they went to his place?"**_

_**Voice,**_

_**"**__**That does seem the most likely scenario."**_

_**There was silence for a moment, Sarah said,**_

_**"**__**You never told me why you want revenge so bad on Stabler?"**_

_**Voice,**_

_**"**__**Does not matter why, it just matters that I do."**_

_**Sarah,**_

_**"**__**When I first got into trouble with Brooklyn SVU and ended up in Bellevue I never did understand why they referred me to you, but I never questioned it. All I knew was that you were different than any other person I had talked to you didn't make me feel like my obsession with getting even was unnatural. But I now am realizing I might have been naive."**_

_**Voice,**_

_**"**__**Do I hear doubt and second guessing? You know I could tell your brother the truth?"**_

_**Sarah,**_

_**"**__**No don't. My brother thinks you are helping me get better."**_

_**Voice,**_

_**"**__**I am helping you get better."**_

_**Sarah,**_

_**"**__**But the way Nathan thinks. He is going to be devastated when he finds out what is really going on, when he finds out you aren't helping me get over my obsession but in reality are helping me live it out. He knows we are heading for the same endgame, he just doesn't know his endgame and yours are different."**_

_**Just as she was hanging up the voice on the other end of the phone heard, just as a door burst open, "NYPD, you are under arrest for stalking."**_


	32. Monday morning

The weekend did not turn out to be peaceful for any of them. Elliott was in the shower when Olivia woke up to her phone ringing, she answered it, once done upon hearing him she joined him. He had his back to her but he felt her, when he was done lathering his chest he handed her the soap just as her arms gently circled his waist. She took it and said,

"Good morning, did you sleep well?"

He turned, nodded and kissed her,

"I did, how about you?"

She nodded,

"Excellent, until the phone rang..."

He looked questioningly at her, she had always loved that about their relationship they knew what each other was thinking,

"It was Fin, he and Munch have Sarah in custody. Apparently she was on the phone with her accomplice, when Munch grabbed the phone he heard breathing on the other end and then a quick disconnect. Fin has been trying to get her to give up her accomplice but so far no go, she is saying she will talk to no one but you."

He had a look like she had never seen before. She asked,

"El what are you thinking?"

He shook his head, like he was clearing his thoughts. He put his head back under the running water to wash the soap out of his hair once done he said,

"I really did what I could for her and her brother. I just don't get it. Why go to such extrremes? I really thought she was okay?"

Olivia put her arms around his neck making him focus on her,

"El we did what we could. You have to remember it was Nathan who asked you to back off. You only did what he asked."

Elliott shook his head, looking like he wanted to cry,

"Sarah didn't seem ready for me to walk away. I should have listened to my gut. Liv, what happened to her to cause this whole situation?"

Olivia could not answer the question, all she could do was help him deal with his pain. They got out of the shower and after getting dressed before they left his apartment, Elliott turned to her and said,

"Beautiful, I love you."

She took his hand and squeezed it,

"I love you."

On the drive to the squadroom, they stopped at the local coffee shop for coffee and bagels. They ate on the way there, once in the squadroom Elliott saw all the information up on the computer screen. He saw the new pictures of Olivia from the night before in her apartment, and then down on the street. Fin came up behind him and said,

"We brought her in a couple of hours ago and she still is not talking."

Olivia asked,

"Do we know where the brother is?"

John handed Olivia a piece of paper, she looked at it and then around the room. She handed it to Elliott who asked,

"John which interrogation room is empty?"

John said,

"Interrogation room 2."

Elliott,

"Thank you."

He then pointed his finger at the person whose name was on the paper and said,

"You come with me. NOW."

The name on the paper followed. As he did the voice on the phone entered the squadroom upon seeing the voice he just shrugged as Elliott lead him away.

Dr. Sabrina Ross walked into the squadroom, and went directly to Cragen's office, once inside she saw George, they shook hands and she asked,

"So please tell me you all had an uneventful weekend."

Cragen said,

"Well Doc you picked one helluva weekend to get away."

She looked back and forth between both men surprised,

"Why what do you mean?"

Cragen said getting up from behind his desk,

"Come with me and we will catch you up..."

The 3 of them headed into the squadroom. Sabrina saw the 5 recruits, Munch, Fin and Olivia, she did not see Elliott and she noticed one recruit was missing. Cragen said to Fin, Munch and Olivia,

"Since Doc Ross is back lets fill her in on our quiet weekend."

The next 15 minutes were spent filling her in on the the information they had up till now. She looked at the pictures and as she looked at the ones of her and Elliott at the Clinic, alarm bells went off in her mind. Once they were finished, Sabrina asked,

"Are there any time stamps or other user identifiers on the pictures to tell us anymore about them?"

John shook his head,

"No. Most of the time stamping as been done based on when the picture was taken. So far we know when each one was taken. Why?"

She said as she pointed to the one of Babs, Elliott, Olivia and the recruits,

"For example, there are a couple of shops across from Babs building that have cameras did anyone check with them to see if they caught any footage of the photographer?"

Fin shook his head,

"No, because of the id on the sketch we got the photographer and we got the ID on the brother. The photographer is in Interrogation 1 and Elliott took the brother to Interrogation 2 to question him. So we just need to have them tell us the motive behind it, and why the brother raped Babs."

_**The voice was getting nervous watching Sabrina, she was now in FBI mode and it would not be long before the whole plan was discovered. She was highly respected in the FBI and it was a respect that was well earned. The voice was now realizing the stories did not make the legend the legend made the stories.**_

Cragen seeing her concern asked Sabrina,

"What are you seeing Doc that we don't?"

She shook her head,

"It is not what I am seeing that has me concerned."

She walked up to the screen and pointed to the picture of Elliott with his daughters at the clinic and said,

"Where they are sitting is not a highly visible area. Sure someone could still take pictures but they would have to know where to stand to get it this unobstructed."

Cragen said,

"What are you saying?"

She said,

"You are looking for someone with intimate knowledge of my clinic."

Olivia said,

"I am the only one who is lost here. What are you saying?"

John and Fin nodded as Fin asked,

"Ok Doc can you take us through your thought process?"

She turned to face them and sat on one of the stool by the screen. She started,

"Okay. First of all, only a handful of people knew that Elliott had booked himself into my clinic and that I had agreed to help him heal. Those would, naturally be, you George, you Captain, Elliott's exwife and kids, and the Chief of Ds. Now of all of them, Elliott went to you George for help and you got me involved. Captain from what I gather you think of Elliott like a son.."

Both men nodded,

"Although Kathy was divorcing him she did not hate him, she just wanted a different life and for him to be happy. His kids, they love him unconditionally and they were his biggest cheerleaders as he went through recovery. The Chief of Ds only knew because he found out through you Captain because of the job offer. As for my staff they loved him while he was there, I am surprised he did not gain 50 lbs while being there, the cooks spoiled him rotten once they found out he had a secret sweet tooth."

Olivia laughed,

"Really?"

John said,

"Liv do you remember when Cassidy was my partner and we met up with these girl guides, who we had to question, and they were selling cookies. We bought them out and brought them back for the squad, did you not notice that Elliott grabbed the bag of Maple cookies?"

She nodded,

"I thought he took them for his kids."

John shook his head,

"He put them in his desk drawer and grabbed a couple every day. He told me, he was trying to encourage healthy eating for his kids but it was hard since he loved sweets. He said he told people he didn't eat them because it was easier than having to explain."

Sabrina laughed,

"Believe me at the clinic the brownies never went stale."

Fin said,

"Does that mean we need to do a background check on all your staff at the Clinic?"

Sabrina shook her head,

"My staff is so well checked that nothing gets by us. But someone told your photographer that Elliott was there and honestly you need a security pass to get through the gates and the fencing around the property is too high and built to be unclimbable. The only place that has no fencing is a 50 foot opening where the dock is."

Fin said,

"What do you mean?"

Sabrina asked,

"Do you have Google Earth on this computer?"

John said,

"We have satellite maps..."

Sabrina said,

"Okay, put it up and I will show you the clinic."

John pulled up the program. Sabrina brought up the clinic. She said as she showed them,

"This is the main building it is under camera surveillance for the safety of our patients. Now this is the main road in and you need security clearance to get in, there is a guard posted and if you do not have a tag then you need to be on a list and your name is checked once you enter and once you leave. If we ever had an emergency we need to know who is actually in the building or on the the grounds. Once you are in the building you go through metal detector to make sure no guns or knives are brought in, once you leave it is the same process. Now around the property, you see just behind the visible tree line there is the fence, it is a complete circle, in that it attaches and starts at the building and goes around the property ending at the other side of the building. The only way in off the water is through the patio doors on the deck, so you see, unless the person knew all of this there is no way it was a stranger."

Cragen said,

"Since you and Elliott know roughly when these photos at the clinic were taken do you still have the visitors log and the key swipes for those days?"

She nodded,

"Absolutely. I will be glad to give them to you."

Alex had just walked in and said,

"Doctor are you sure we are not going to need a warrant?"

Sabrina shook her head,

"Look Ms Cabot the reputation of my clinic is on the line. We do a lot of good work and important work, I want to know who did this and put a stop to it. Besides even if your suspects tell us who their accomplice is I want you to have all the proper evidence so that he or she can not get off on some he said, she said defence. I know the justice system, it works with definites and not suggestions."

Sabrina looked at the recruits and asked,

"Since Detective Stabler is busy do any of you recruits have any questions?"

Officer Sanchez asked,

"So what you are all saying is that the evidence points to the fact that the photographer who is stalking Teach is working with 2 other people, her own brother and a third yet unidentified person. And that Ms Duffy was raped because the suspects knew she would call Teach?"

John nodded,

"That is exactly what the evidence says, but as Dr. Ross has pointed out but not said, is that is looks like the 3rd person is trying to frame the clinic and make it look like someone there is in on this."

_**The voice knew that time was running out. What were the siblings saying in the interrogation rooms were they giving up the mastermind?**_


	33. Interrogation Room 1

Elliott lead his suspect into interrogation room 2 and said,

"Have a seat I will be right back."

**Interrogation Room 1**

He then headed to the room beside and looked through the two way glass at Sarah Anne Morgan, he wondered how did she go from such a nice naive young girl to a stalker and what is her endgame. He opened the door and walked in, as he did she lifted her head,

"So you came. It certainly took you long enough."

He said,

"What happened to you?"

She looked at him, with an anger he had never seen before,

"Well my father raped my mother then married her pretending to be the man of her dreams. My mother killed my father and is serving 25 to life for murder. My brother and I end up in foster care where my brother protected me until he aged out. You promised to look out for us but when Nathan said it would be easier on us if you stopped coming around, you seemed relieved to not have us as a burden anymore. Once my brother was out of foster care, I got a new older foster brother who could not keep his hands off me, he raped me every night and threatened to kill Nathan if I said anything to anyone. I ended up pregnant and had an abortion that ended up leaving me sterile so I could never have kids, I also ended up with HIV and will be on the protocol for the rest of my life. Maybe if you had not walked away none of this would have happened, you would have seen it and helped me, but I had no one I was all alone."

Elliott felt himself getting emotional, he was only following Nathan's wishes what was he suppose to do. He knew he should have gone with his gut and still kept in touch. He knew nothing he said would make this right. He had to try,

"Sarah I am so sorry, I was following what Nathan asked of me. I never meant to have you get hurt, you had already been through so much."

She said,

"Do you have any idea what it is like having to take the HIV protocol and waiting for that test result?"

He did and nodded,

"Yes I do. A few years ago, I had cut my hand and when my partner and I went to question a suspect, she had slit her wrists and was lying in a tub full of blood and water. I took her out of the tub and processed to administer first aid, wrapping towels around her bleeding wrists. When we got her to the hospital the doctor told us that she was HIV positive and because of the cut on my hand I needed to be tested. She thought the bandage might have shielded the cut but we had to err on the side of caution, I had to take the protocol for 1 month. I had never been so sick, could not eat, threw up everything, scared my wife and kids. Truth be known I was scared out of my mind, thinking about everything in the worst case scenario."

Cragen, Olivia, Fin, John, Sabrina, George and the recruits were all outside the window listening. John said,

"I remember when he was trying to get the test results over the phone, but was told he had to see the doctor."

Olivia said,

"I remember the look on his face when the Doctor told us about the HIV. Up til then I had never seen him so scared or so vulnerable."

Fin nodded as they all looked at him, as he explained,

"I walked in on him in the bathroom getting sick, he was pale and I said, "You will be fine." He said, "I hope so but right now I am too scared and worried to think positive." He also said he would deny admitting this if I ever repeated it."

Olivia looked at him as Fin shrugged,

"You all just heard him admit it so he can't deny what I just said."

Cragen just looked at them both, he too remembering how scared he was for his best detective. They all went quiet and continued to listen.

Sarah looked down at the table, she said quietly,

"I was so scared. Nathan was there for me but not really, he was too busy with college, working and trying to make enough money to get us an apartment. And when he finally did, ACS and my foster family would not let me go with him, because he wasn't around enough because of school and work."

Elliott said,

"Sarah I really am sorry. But we saw your photos and you have some of me from quite a while back."

Sarah nodded,

"I started following you 5 years ago, I wanted to see what had keep you so busy that you were glad not to have me as an added responsibility."

He started to say something but she stopped him,

"Nathan told me he thought it would be better for both of us to get over what happened to our parents if you were not around being a constant reminder of what we lost. I told him I did not agree because I needed to be in touch with that part of my life. Nathan bought me a camera since he knew I liked photography and I guess he figured it would give me something else to think about. I started taking pictures, my first one was of you and Detective Benson with Ms Duffy, then I got hooked. I followed you through the papers and news, but then after you shot that young girl here there was nothing. I was going nuts, I figured as long as I could see you every day I was okay, once you walked away I followed Detective Benson for the first couple of months and nothing. I aged out of the foster system and went to live with Nathan he found out about my obsession with you, as he called it, and said I needed Psychiatric help. I refused and tried to kill myself by slitting my wrists, Nathan found me and took me to the hospital where I was saved and found out I was HIV positive. Because the doctors considered me a risk to myself I was sent to Bellevue and put on suicide watch, I saw Detective Benson there with another male Detective who I did not know – I listened to them talk and the Doctor they were talking to asked her how she was doing since you retired and if she had heard from you. She said no."

Olivia thought about that conversation and a light went on for her, but she said nothing as she felt people would think she was crazy...

Sarah continued,

"Next thing I know that same Doctor is treating me, over the next couple of months with Nathan's encouragement I open up about my life and everything about my obsession with you. I am encouraged to go under hypnosis, as the doctor said, 'to help fill in the blanks' all the time Nathan is agreeing because all he wants is for me to get better."

Elliott asked,

"Who is paying for the treatment considering you were not a ward of the state?"

Sarah said,

"Our lawyer paid for it with the trust money."

Elliott said,

"What happened after the hypnosis?"

Sarah said,

"I got better and was able to go home."

Elliott said,

"But the pictures did not stop. And why did Babs get raped what does she have to do with this?"

Sarah said,

"What do you mean?"

Elliott looked at her strangely,

"What do you mean, by that? You still followed me you have collages of me at different times during the last 5 years. Including photos of Babs before and after her rape, "

Sarah said,

"Seriously what are you talking about?"

Elliott said,

"Babs Duffy was raped, all the evidence in her case is inconclusive and does not point to who did it. Yet she has been victimized during this."

Sarah said,

"Honestly I do not know what you are talking about?"

Elliott didn't want to get mad but he was losing patience, he started to do his deep breathing that Sabrina had taught him when he felt like he was getting out of control. Sabrina watched through the window, she watched Elliott do the breathing the way she had shown him, but as she listened to Sarah she keep thinking about the hypnosis she had mentioned. She wondered if the doctor who had put her under had put in a suggestion that would be triggered by a word to get her to do what she was doing, if that was the case she would never remember it.

Sabrina sent Elliott a text. Elliott felt his phone vibrate he took it out of his pocket and read it. He then put it back in his pocket and looking at Sabrina asked,

"Were you following me to get revenge?"

She nodded, he then asked the texted question,

"What were you going to do to me as your final revenge?"

She looked sheepishly but straight at him,

"In my reality you walking away from me was the reason I got raped and ended up with HIV, and I wanted you to know how much I suffered and blamed you. In my mind, my plan was to get you alone, drug you, tie you to the bed and rape you unprotected to give you HIV. Figuring you would never be able to forget about me again."

Elliott asked, a little shaken,

"And you told your doctor this?"

He asked,

"What is your Doctor's name?"

Sarah said,

"His name is Dr. Chang."

He asked,

"Do you still see him?"

She nodded. Elliott got up and said,

"Sarah I am going to talk to your brother right now and I will be back shortly."

She asked,

"I am hungry and thirsty, any chance of getting something to eat and drink?"

Elliott nodded,

"Officer Ramarez will get you whatever you want."

He had to get out of that room, he was beginning to feel closed in and unable to breath, he had never felt so much hate and sadness in one room before. He walked out the door and came face to face with his co workers. Cragen asked,

"You okay?"

He looked at Sabrina and then at Cragen and shook his head,

"No I am not. I have never had anyone hate me this much. But now I need to talk to her brother."

Olivia wanted to grab him and just hold him but she knew he needed his space right now, but she would be there for him when he did need her. She watched as he headed into Interrogation Room 2...


	34. Interrogation 2

Elliott took a deep breath and walked into Interrogation 2, he looked at the young man who was standing staring out the caged window, he turned and looked at Elliott. Elliott closed the door and sat down saying,

"Have a seat we need to talk."

The young man sat and asked,

"Is Sarah okay?"

Elliott said nodding,

"Well I just finished talking to her and she told me her side of the story. Now I need to hear yours."

The young man said,

"I didn't do anything, I only wanted Sarah to be okay after all she went through."

Elliott rubbed his face with his one good hand and said,

"First of all, why the name change?"

He laughed,

"I went into Criminology and Crime Scene Investigation, I am the son of a rapist how would that look getting background checks and that being discovered. I know the statistics that people think that DNA determines who we become, I have no intention of carrying on my father's legacy. I once read a comment where a child of abuse said, 'I have two choices, one I can become an abuser or two I can become a person who stops abusers'. I chose to be number two."

Elliott asked,

"When you asked me not to come around anymore because I constantly reminded you of the past, did Sarah agree with you?"

He shook his head,

"No she did not. But after explaining to her why it was necessary, she said she agreed it wasn't until later that I found out she was not okay with it."

Elliott asked,

"When did you notice there was problem?"

He looked away,

"After I bought her a camera and all the pictures she took seemed to be of you, some of you alone, some with your partner either having lunch or at a crime scene. I asked my professor about stalking how to know when a person is doing it and when they need help, and he asked me to explain so I did and he told me Sarah needed help and that you should be warned in case she got violent or went after your family. But by that time, you had retired after shooting Jenna, so I thought you would be fine since none of the pictures were of your family or house."

Elliott nodded,

"So how did you end up in my class?"

He continued,

"Well Sarah had just been admitted to Bellevue and had a new doctor, we talked and agreed that she needed to get well and get rid of her obsession. I was named her legal guardian since she was not well enough to take care of herself and when I was assured she was alright I agreed to her release. She seemed fine for a long time, getting on with school and her life, I was happy. Then two years ago these calls started coming for her and I thought nothing of the first couple of calls. Until I went into her room and saw pictures of you at the Greenwood Clinic, I tapped my phone, so even if I wasn't home the call would be recorded. That is how I found out that she really wasn't better."

Elliott knew he was avoiding the question and temporarily let it go. Sabrina listened to the conversation and texted Elliott again. He felt his pocket vibrate and took out the phone, he read the text and put it back. He asked,

"Did you ever sign or agree to allow the Doctor to hypnosis Sarah?"

He shook his head,

"Absolutely not. I've seen shows about what can happen to people who have been hypnotized...wait are you telling me those phone calls were trigger calls?'

Elliott shrugged,

"It kind of looks that way. Who is her Doctor?"

He answered,

"While in the hospital it was Dr. Emil Skoda. He was really nice. Do you think..."

Elliott shook his head,

"Last time I heard Doc Skoda does not hypnotize but it has been a while since I have seen him."

Sabrina texted Elliott again, he pulled his phone out again. This time he just put it down on the table. He asked the text question,

"Is Dr. Skoda still her doctor?"

He shook his head,

"No once she left the hospital he gave her an open door invitation to see him whenever she needed. But I don't think she ever went back."

Elliott asked,

"Do you still have the calls you recorded?"

He nodded,

"Yes. I kept them with the intention of finding out who it was because they were so cryptic that I did not understand them, I asked Sarah about them but she acted like she had no idea what I was talking about. After that the calls always seemed to come after I left the apartment."

Elliott asked,

"Did you ever recognize the voice?"

He shook his head. Elliott nodded and then asked,

"So why did you change your name from Nathan Michael Morgan? I understand the last name but why the whole thing?"

He got up and looked out the window and answered,

"I got rid of Morgan because it was a constant reminder of my rapist father. I took Jones because that was my mother's maiden name and just switched my first and middle names. I then legalized it to Michael Nathan Jones. It made me feel like I was getting a do over."

Elliott nodded, he understood second chances. He asked,

"Why my class? Why SVU?"

Still looking out the window, he answered,

"I didn't know why Sarah was taking all the pictures, so I took your class to make sure she did not get near you and because I remembered how relentless you and Detective Benson were about getting to the truth, I took it as a opportunity to learn from the best. The other thing, I was hoping to catch the voice on the phone with Sarah, and when this case came up and you were asked to come back by the victim it got me thinking, that maybe this was my opportunity. But the one thing that did surprise me was that you never recognized me."

Elliott said,

"Well I am not surprised about that, the last time I saw you, you were at that awkward stage we all have between being a boy and a man. You were 4'10" and 100 lbs, you are now 6'3'' and 200lbs, the way you filled out and have been working out has changed the way you look."

Jones said,

"You haven't changed much though, just a whole lot more muscular."

Elliott laughed,

"The last two years has changed me more than I will ever admit too."

_**Well at least my cover is still in tact...but for how much longer...time to take my leave...**_


	35. After the Interviews

Once Elliott was done the interviews, Jones asked him if he could see his sister, Elliott agreed. After they were in Interrogation 1 Elliott stood outside the door and said to Sabrina,

"What do you think?"

She said,

"I know Emil he has nothing to do with this, he is against hypnosis in some cases and this would be one of them. If you want to confirm it, he is on staff at Bellevue."

Elliott said,

"I know Skoda, he has helped me in the past and I agree with you. For now, my next move is to get the recorded calls down to TARU and have them decipher them. We need a voice match. But this still does not tell us how Babs was raped and why?"

Sabrina looked around and seeing only Cragen, John, Fin and Olivia left, along with the recruits she said,

"Get the tapes and let me listen to them I will decipher the code and get the trigger word."

He nodded as he watched his co workers head back to the squadroom along with the recruits. Sabrina looked at Elliott and asked,

"Since you had quite the weekend, with flying off buildings and all, I think we need to catch up. Is there anywhere we can talk privately?"

Elliott said,

"I'm hungry I only had a bagel for breakfast, can I buy you an early lunch?"

She nodded,

"You want to ask Detective Benson to come too."

He looked surprised,

"Really?"

Sabrina said,

"I assume she had the same breakfast you did and since she is your endgame and this case is almost closed, I think we all need to talk."

He nodded and they headed into the squadroom. Olivia was talking to John and Fin. Nick and Amanda had been paired off and were gone dealing with another case, they had taken their recruits with them. Elliott cleared his voice and said,

"Okay my recruits, take an early lunch, let's meet back here in a hour and continue with our game plan."

Elliott saw Officer Jones make his way into the squadroom and he said,

"Officer Jones, I need you to get the recorded messages to TARU, ASAP. So for now we are at a stand still til they are done with voice recognition."

Sabrina added,

"Since the guy on the tapes is still out there and we do not know who it is maybe a couple of your classmates want to go with you Officer Jones just to be on the safe side."

The class all looked at each other and then at Jones who looked at Elliott who said,

"I agree with Dr. Ross. Now that it is out there that you have the calls recorded I would rather have you safe than sorry."

He then looked at the class. John said sensing the hesitation and uncertainty,

"Since your follow officer does not live far only 10 mins return trip, I will order pizza for you all so you can eat when you get back. But you all have to go."

Elliott nodded at John and mouthed, Thank you. John nodded back as Chester said,

"Ok fellow recruits our first real alone assignment."

Elliott added,

"And just for an incentive, once you all get back here safe and sound and the tapes are in the hands of TARU, I will give you all an A on today's pop quiz."

They all did high fives and left.

Elliott then looked at Olivia, and asked,

"Sabrina and I are going for lunch and we want you to join us. Are you..."

He hadn't even finished his question when she got up from her desk grabbed her coat and said,

"Let's go."

Sabrina chuckled. Elliott said,

"I know the perfect place."

The three of them headed out to a nearby diner that served excellent food.

_**So Jones had told Sarah that he had recorded her calls, at first she was upset but then he explained and she went quiet no longer protesting. The plan was well thought out, no stone left unturned, although TARU was good, even they would have trouble distinguishing the voice on those tapes. **_

_**Well done Stabler, not sending Jones alone. An intercept could be tried but Stabler was also into hand to hand and if he trained the recruits there would be more questions than answers. The voice watched as they all entered Jones building and 2 minutes later they exited, heading right back to the squadroom. All chances were lost, the tapes would be heard...**_

Bennett said looking around the street,

"I feel like we are being watched."

Brown said,

"Me too."

Wentworth chimed in,

"No we aren't, you guys are just being paranoid."

_**Bennett and Brown are right, you are being watched and that is why they will be excellent officers and you Chester will not be. But with Bennett and Brown voicing their opinions it clarified the realization that all hopes of getting the tapes right now were gone. Maybe after closing, a break in at TARU might be an option.**_


	36. Closing the Gap

**A/N: Thank you for all the great reviews, they are very much appreciated.. Sorry about taking so long to post, I ended up taking an unscheduled hiatus. Over the next day or so I will be posting the final chapters of this journey. And so begins the final push to the end 4 chapters to go. Enjoy...**

Once they hit the diner, Sabrina sat in the booth facing Olivia and Elliott. The place was a little slow since they were there just before lunch rush, so the waitress was at their table with menus before they had their jackets off. Sabrina ordered a TBLTC on Rye; Elliott ordered a cheeseburger and fry; Olivia ordered a julienne salad. Their coffees came first and Sabrina asked,

"How are your ribs, Elliott?"

He looked at Olivia and then sighed. He pondered his answer because he could not lie to Sabrina but he didn't want Olivia to know the truth, before he could answer Olivia said,

"They are hurting him like hell..."

She looked at him, as Sabrina watched their interactions, Olivia continued,

"El, I know you better than you know yourself sometimes, you don't think I see the way you winch when you move and try to hide it? Seriously you are not that great an actor."

Sabrina smiled as he looked at Olivia dumbfounded. He said trying to do Cagney,

"Who are you saying is not a great actor."

Sabrina laughed. He then said just shaking his head,

"Liv is right, I do hurt like hell but I am taking it easy so I don't hurt more."

Sabrina said,

"They will hurt more before they heal. Give them another day or two and they will feel like just an annoyance. Besides you have had broken ribs before, so you know the drill."

He nodded. Sabrina continued looking at Olivia,

"Now Olivia you are probably wondering why I wanted you to be here also."

Olivia nodded and said,

"Yes considering I would think you would want this to be a private debrief with Elliott to make sure he is okay."

Sabrina nodded and said,

"I wanted to talk to both of you together to get a feel for where you both are in terms of each other. I know you have been spending a lot of time together and I want to make sure you are both okay and to answer any questions you might have Olivia."

Elliott said,

"If you two are going to talk about me should I even be here?"

Olivia put her hand on his arm and said,

"I have nothing to hide from you, I've always been able to tell you things that I could never tell anyone else. You were the one who never talked..."

As she looked at Sabrina then back at Elliott she continued,

"Since you went to see Sabrina and got help you are Mr. Honesty, I ask you answer."

Elliott said,

"Is that a problem?"

Olivia shook her head,

"Absolutely not. It is refreshing. This you, is a good combination of the you I knew for 12 years and the you I knew you really were but saw very little of."

Sabrina asked,

"No pent up anger?"

Olivia looked at him and shook her head,

"No. And a couple of times I was expecting it to happen and nothing."

Sabrina looked at Elliott and asked,

"I know it has not been long Elliott, but many times when people are put back into familiar situations they resort back to the feelings they previously had. You do not feel any of that?"

Elliott shook his head,

"No. It's funny, I feel different this time around, I don't have anyone to answer too and I don't feel the same pressure I would if I was getting paid as a detective, like before. I know I have to set a good example for my students but at the same time it just does not feel very hard to do. Is that normal?"

Sabrina nodded,

"Actually, it is and I am happy to hear you say this, because it shows me you really are going to be okay. You will have a few days like the rest of us where things might not go so well, but I am more than thrilled with where you are right now? And as a couple, how are you two?"

Elliott looked at Olivia as she rested her hand on his,

"I like where we are at as a couple. I like..."

He hesitated as he continued to look at Olivia. She saw his searching look and nodded, knowing where he wanted to go.

"I like waking up with her in the morning and falling asleep with her at night."

Sabrina asked,

"I bet the ribs have not helped the going to bed at night much."

They both laughed, Elliott said,

"Where there is a will, there truly is a way."

Sabrina nodded and laughed as their food arrived. She then asked Elliott, as Olivia started to eat and listen,

"On a serious note, how are you handling things with this case? We all know how fast a case can burst open and this one blew at the seams over the weekend."

Elliott dipped a fry into the ketchup he had put on his plate and said as he put it in his mouth and chewed it,

"Honestly, it bugs me that Sarah went for help and was used and manipulated. Now she is in trouble for something she had no control over."

Sabrina asked,

"What about her admittance about what she had planned for you as revenge?"

Elliott shrugged and sighed,

"Honestly that bothers me. Even though I know hand to hand, I could have handled myself, and she would never have been able to over power me..."

Sabrina shook her head and interrupted him saying,

"Never underestimate the power and strength of an angry woman, besides we do not know what triggers were used during hypnosis. Remember she is not working alone."

Elliott looked at Sabrina,

"Do you know Dr. Chang?"

Sabrina shook her head,

"He does not sound familiar to me, and considering the way Sarah was talking timeline wise he is not new to the business. I did ask John to look him up and get us all the information he could find. Hypnosis is not something to be used lightly or fool around with, it is amazing if used properly but devastating if used wrong"

Olivia asked,

"You sound like you speak from experience. Do you?"

Sabrina finished the mouthful of food she had just taken and then said,

"You know all those stories you hear about me. Well you do not know the story about why there are stories."

Olivia looked at Elliott, who looked surprised, and then back at Sabrina. Olivia asked,

"What do you mean?"

Elliott nodded,

"Please explain."

Sabrina had taken a bite of her sandwich and once she swallowed she said as they ate,

"Before the bureau I had gone to University and got my PH.d and Masters and a Bachelors degree in Teaching, my parents thought I was going to be come a professional student but I always knew I wanted to be with the FBI. My parents tried to discourage me because they did not want their daughter working in a man's world, they figured life was going to be hard enough in my chosen profession they did not want me making it harder than it had to be. In their journey to push me down a different path they tricked me into seeing a Psychiatrist friend of theirs who suggested hypnosis, I did not believe I could be put under so I humoured them and went along with it. I had read up enough on it to know what they would consider being in a trance and I did it, through meditation but I was fully aware of everything around me. He tried a reprogramming technique that is used to help people with addictions, he used the trigger touch of squeezing my elbow lightly and told my parents it would work for them. The point of it was that anytime I talked about joining the FBI they could squeeze my elbow and I was suppose to talk about going into private practise. When he counted to three and snapped his fingers I was suppose to come out of the trance, when he questioned me about what I remembered I told him I remembered a office I was going to be looking at for my private practise. He was thrilled he thought he was successful and my parents were thrilled, as I left them I turned to my parents and said, 'I want to thank you both for helping me realize that the bureau is really where I need to be.' My father grabbed my arm and squeezed my elbow and I laughed, 'You have to be kidding right? I was never under I only told you want you wanted to hear.' So all their stunt did was give me the determination I needed to make it in the FBI, I took gun lessons and range training, I learnt self defence and hand-to-hand combat, I even became a black belt in karate. I mastered all the skills needed to keep myself safe and to become as good as any man at the job, not unlike you Elliott, and that is how the stories began."

Olivia asked,

"What do you mean, not unlike Elliott?"

Elliott said,

"I got this one. What she means is I worked my tail off to be better at the job than my father. He was a good cop but not the best, he took to the bottle and nurses to get through his day he basically gave up. I didn't, as you know I took every FBI course I was offered, I did everything in my power to open doors that were closed to a cop like my dad. Yeah he played it safe and I didn't, maybe I let my anger openly show instead of suppressing it with boozes and chasing skirts did it get me in trouble, we both know it did but it only cost me a reprimand instead of losing my job and family. Do I regret some of my choices? Maybe. If I could go back would I change anything? Again maybe. But going forward I do know that what has happened to me in the past and my experience from the past year I will not be regretting or changing anything going forward. I won't be doing anything that I regret or that will need to be changed. As for this case and Sarah, you are right Sabrina, with someone helping her I could be overpowered, I mean I remember Dale Starkey, he was not a big man but he had a blunt object and syringe on his side and he over powered me. So if suddenly I woke up tied to a bed nude with the threat of being infected against my will with HIV..."

He couldn't finish his sentence, Olivia pulled him close as he got somewhat emotional. Sabrina watched as the two connected she smiled to herself as Olivia noticed and asked,

"What?"

She shook her head,

"It just makes me happy when I see my biggest success story continue to evolve."

They finished their lunch and Elliott asked once the waitress took their dishes and refilled their cups,

"Sabrina, do you think you can figure out what the triggers are?"

She said,

"Well if TARU can not do a voice match I was thinking I would talk to Dr. Skoda and have him listen to the tape and see if he figure out if the on trigger is the same as the off trigger. I mean the last thing I want to do is have Sarah listen to the tape line by line to see which one triggers the trance not knowing what it will take to reverse it. I mean we do not know if the third person meets her and does a touch trigger to reverse it or phones her to reverse it. We are in unfamiliar territory."

She then looked at Olivia and said,

"Olivia when Sarah was telling her story I noticed the look on your face when she said the Doctor you and Nick had been talking with at Bellevue became her Doctor, who were you talking to?"

Olivia said,

"There is no way it could be him, he knows us and I think we know him. He is incapable of doing this, although he does have the means and knowledge. I don't want to say until we get a positive voice match from TARU. I would feel so guilty if I was wrong and caused a man to lose his career."

Elliott looked at her and said,

"Liv, we are not just talking about one career or life here, we are talking about 4 lives which include you and me."

Olivia looked at him with pleading eyes,

"Please just trust me. I need to be sure."

Elliott looked into her eyes and saw the confusion,

"You have always trusted me and now I will trust you."

Sabrina paid the bill and said,

"Let us go and find our third person."


	37. The Triggers

The three of them walked into the squadroom, the recruits had just finished eating and Elliott saw Officer Jones,

"Jones, did TARU get the recordings?"

He nodded,

"Yes they said they would let us know when they found a voice match."

Elliott nodded. Sabrina went to John and asked,

"Did you come up with anything about Dr. Chang?"

John shook his head,

"Nothing. It is like he does not exist. The medical board has not heard of him before so maybe that means Sarah is his only patient."

Sabrina said,

"I hope so. Where is Sarah?"

Fin said,

"She was with her brother, he hasn't let her out of his sight. Then Doc Huang wanted to talk to them so they went to Interrogation 1, Jones is talking to Elliott but I don't see Huang or Sarah I guess they are still in there."

Olivia overheard the exchange and looked at Sabrina, who caught the look, they both headed to interrogation 1. Once there they listened through the window they were having a normal conversation, and almost on que George got up and headed out of the room. He stepped into the viewing area and closed the door, seeing Sabrina he said,

"As you know I do hypnosis and I was asking Sarah questions about it."

Sabrina knew George well and watched his reaction looking for his tells as she asked,

"And what did you find out?"

George looked at both women and said,

"Nothing. She does not remember anything."

Sabrina nodding but knew full well he was lying. She watched him try to hide it, but she knew him to well but she did not push, she just wanted to help this young victim. In her mind, Sarah was as much a victim as Elliott was. The 3 of them headed back into the squadroom, as TARU was coming back with the results. They had cleaned the recording up and got through the voice changing program and there was the voice one they were all familiar with. Upon hearing his own voice and seeing the eyes look at him he pulled out his gun and put it to Elliott's neck. Every officer with a gun pulled theirs out and pointed at the two of them, Sarah entered from the interrogation room and seemed to be in automatic pilot, she pulled out a syringe and without warning jabbed Elliott's leg and he went down. Olivia walked towards the three of them, Sarah said,

"Stand down all of you. He has to get what is coming to him."

Jones screamed,

"Sarah don't. This is wrong."

And then at the gunman,

"You promised me you would help her and give her back her normal life. You lied to me and her, I can't let you get away with this."

Jones ran towards the gunman, who open fired on him, hitting Jones in the leg. Jones started to beg Sarah to stop trying to get through, Sabrina looked at John and the TARU tech and whispered,

"We need to know the trigger."

Sarah, under the trance, seemed to have an abundance of strength as she helped the gunman drag Elliott out of the squadroom and up to the roof on the elevator. Rollins called the EMS for Jones as Fin said to Nick, Bennett and Brown,

"Let's go we will take the stairs up to the roof."

Sabrina had already called Dr. Skoda on their way back from the diner and since he was close by he entered the squadroom as Elliott was being dragged out. He saw Sabrina and said,

"Dr. Ross I got your message. How can I help?"

She quickly explained and he listened to the tape. He was not known for his speed but he was good at his job within minutes he figured out the trigger that started the trance but was not sure it was the same to bring her out of it.

He said,

"This trance trigger is used only by the FBI, and they have 3 triggers to combat it, the first being using the same phrase which induced it, and the other two are touch triggers, a squeeze of the shoulder or a double tap on the back."

Sabrina said,

"Are you sure?"

He nodded,

"Positive. How are you not aware of these?"

She said,

"I do not use hypnosis, so I never learnt it. But this explains alot because I heard that phrase being used more than once today."

Cragen entered from his office where he had seen the whole situation, and instead of playing his hand he waited to see where they were headed, once he saw it was the roof, he called for a chopper to be sent. He ordered TARU to put a trace on Elliott's phone so they could follow the GPS, he also ordered Olivia and Sabrina to follow by vehicle. They took the portable GPS device and followed the car. Olivia said,

"What about the chopper?"

Cragen said,

"When it gets here Fin and I will follow in the chopper, we will need our own GPS device and John you will stay here with the rest of the recruits."

John, who had always had Elliott's back even during the worst of times, said,

"With all due respect Captain these recruits are here to learn and pulling them out now defeats the purpose of what Elliott is trying to show them."

Cragen said,

"You know what they want to do to Elliott, right?"

John nodded. Cragen said,

"Do you think he wants his students to see him like that if they get their way?"

John said,

"Again, with all due respect, as you said to Elliott the night he was lying in the hospital and you called all the recruits in, this is a teachable moment..."

Cragen put up his hands in surrender mode,

"Fine. Fin and Elliott's recruits will be with me. Wentworth stay with John and you two will be coordinating from here. Everyone is on radio. Let's go people, we know their end game and we need to stop it."

_**He looked down at Elliott who was still out lying in the back of the chopper. He looked at the pilot and said, "Let's take this back to the beginning." The pilot nodded. He then looked at Sarah who sat staring out the window, she then looked down at Elliott who had started to move, he inadvertently touched her elbow, she looked around the chopper, and asked, "Why are we in this chopper?" and when she looked down and saw Elliott, she got scared and asked panicked, "Why is he here?". The voice pointed the gun at her and said, "We are completing the circle." Her look got glazed over and she went robotic. **_


	38. It's a Matter of Timing

_**Once the chopper had landed on the building, he put the gun in his pocket and directed Sarah and the pilot to help carry Elliott into the building. As the three of them struggled under Elliott's weight, the pilot who was a well built muscular man put Elliott over his shoulder and carried him into the building lumberjack style as if Elliott were a rag doll. Once inside he was directed through an open space into a room that he knew was an interrogation room, he put Elliott on the table as instructed, once Elliott was stripped down to his boxers his ankles were bound to the table legs. They had not counted on the cast but they tied the rope around it anyway and bound both his wrists to the table. **_

Olivia said to Sabrina as they followed the GPS,

"I wonder how long we will have this signal?"

Sabrina said,

"Hopefully til we know where they took him."

_**Elliott started to wake up, he tried to move but found he was tied down. He was relieved that when he opened his eyes he was not blindfolded or gagged. He looked around and realized the room was familiar, but he was confused. He heard a voice clear and lifted his head to look towards it and saw the familiar faces. He then felt a breeze and looked down and realized he was nude expect for his boxers, he looked at Sarah who was starting to undress, he tried to calm his panic and said,**_

_**"**__**Sarah you don't have to do this. I thought we were past it."**_

_**She smiled at him as the male voice which he now recognized said,**_

_**"**__**Sarah remember we are completing the circle."**_

_**She looked towards him and nodded. She finished undressed and climbed up on the table, and straddled Elliott. Elliott tried to fight to get untied but the binds were too tight, he screamed,**_

_**"**__**Stop. Don't do this."**_

_**He heard the male voice laugh and say,**_

_**"**__**Finally the legend that is Elliott Stabler is not in control. How does it feel to not be the one calling the shots or controlling the situation?"**_

_**Elliott fought back his emotion. Knowing he was very possibly going to get raped was one thing but knowing the person who is going to do it has AIDS and has every intention of passing it on terrified him to no end. He said trying to stay calm,**_

_**"**__**I understand Sarah's issue with me, and I also know she would not go through with this on her own. But you, of all people, what did I ever do to you?"**_

_**The voice said,**_

_**"**__**You dismissed me at every moment, you used me when you needed to, but you never took me seriously. I saw the way you were with Skoda, you respected him. I heard how you were with Cap Jackson, you respected him too, even requested his help. And Dr. Hendrix, the only one of us you ever opened up too. How do you think that made me feel or look?"**_

_**Elliott shrugged, the level of anger he saw and heard unnerved him. Elliott said nothing. Sarah started to rubbed herself up and down over his boxers she ran her hands over his chest and nipples. Tears started to form in his eyes and he said with a cracking voice,**_

_**"**__**What can I do to make this right?"**_

_**He said,**_

_**"**__**Explain what I did to make it so easy for you to dismiss me like I did not matter, like I was a bug you were squashing?"**_

_**Sarah continued to rub him and he felt his body responding, it reminded him of the first time he had a case of male rape and he doubted it could happen. How he was arrogant and dismissive of the victim, who just because he made his living as a stripper at the time did not make his attitude right. He prayed and hoped he would be found before it was too late. He said in answer to the question,**_

_**"**__**I am sorry, I never meant to dismiss you. I did what I thought was right at the time."**_

_**The voice said,**_

_**"**__**But if given the chance you would do it again..."**_

_**Elliott shook his head,**_

_**"**__**No I would not."**_

_**He pushed,**_

_**"**__**Then why, was it because I am gay?"**_

_**Elliott shook his head hard,**_

_**"**__**Hell no. It has nothing to do with that. Besides I never even knew you were..."**_

_**"**__**Bull. You put out this cocky as hell, look at me attitude not only affecting the women around you but some of us men and you tell me you don't know I am gay? Right?"**_

_**Sarah continued to rub and he felt a full erection coming on. He had no way of stopping the tears, or swallowing his fear...**_

Cragen saw the GPS stop, as they continued to fly. He showed Fin who said,

"Captain..."

Cragen nodded,

"I know."

Cragen then pulled out the radio and said,

"Liv do you see where the dot has stopped?"

She said,

"Yes. At the old precinct."

Cragen asked,

"How far are you from it?"

Sabrina said,

"3 minutes away."

Cragen said,

"We are just landing on the roof beside the other chopper. Get here as quick as possible. Fin and I are going in with the recruits. Fin has already called EMS to the meet us there, we don't know what we will find."

The 4 of them got out of the chopper and headed to the roof door, seeing the broken lock they went in, Fin said to the recruits,

"One of you getting shot today is one too many. Stay behind us and make sure your vests are on properly. Stabler might not be in a position to help us but we need to be ready to help him."

They nodded.

Out front of the building, Liv and Sabrina pulled up, Liv grabbed her vest out of the trunk as Sabrina took her FBI one out of the backseat where she had thrown it earlier in the investigation, never thinking she would need it but just to be on the safe side. Once they were ready, Liv radioed Cragen and Fin,

"Captain, we are out front and are breaking the lock to get in. EMS is behind us along with a few unnies."

Cragen,

"Okay good, we are just entering from the roof. We think they are going to our old squadroom."

Liv said,

"We will meet you there."

Sabrina said to the EMS,

"We will let you know when it is save to come in."

They nodded. To the Unit cops she said as she noticed people stopping to watch,

"Keep the area clear. We are starting to draw attention and a crowd."

Liv had broken the lock on the door as Sabrina caught up with her. They headed up the stairs as the team on the roof headed down the stairs. They both met in the old squadroom at the same time and before they could head to the squadroom, Cragen said,

"Liv you take Sarah, tap her shoulder first if nothing, tap her elbow. Still nothing than say, "We are Completing the Circle. Fin you grab the pilot since he was not up top. I will take Elliott and Sabrina ..."

She finished the sentence,

"I got you."

They all took a deep breath and headed for the interrogation room. They looked into the window and gasped at what they saw...

_**Sarah said,**_

_**"**__**Those boxers must be getting quite tight, considering how big you are getting under me."**_

_**Elliott said as tears ran down his face,**_

_**"**__**It is not too late to stop this."**_

_**From the corner he heard,**_

_**"**__**You do not get it."**_

_**Elliott seeing an opening,**_

_**"**__**Than explain it to me."**_

_**Sarah moved down his legs and started to lower his boxers exposing his full erection. Liv started to go for the door, when Sabrina stopped her, Liv tried to pull away. Sabrina said,**_

_**"**__**Elliott's safety is our number one priority we need to do this right, follow the plan."**_

_**As she let go of Liv's arm, Fin watched as Sarah took hold of Elliott's full length in her hands and stroked it, she put her thumb on his tip and said,**_

_**"**__**Time to slide you inside me..."**_

_**She lifted her self up and just as she was positioning him under her the door flew open...**_


	39. The Whole Truth and Nothing But

They burst through the door Liv grabbed Sarah off of Elliott and tapped her shoulder, nothing happened, she tapped her elbow and Sarah shook herself out of her trance. She looked around bewildered, upon seeing Elliott tied to the table nude with a full erection she looked at herself and seeing her own nakedness said to Liv as she started to cry,

"Oh my god, what happened? What is going on?"

Liv did not answer and took her out of the room. Fin had the pilot in cuffs and Cragen went to Elliott, as Fin directed the pilot out the door he picked up Elliott's shirt off the floor and put it over his erection as Cragen untied the binds. Sabrina grabbed the voice in the corner and said,

"You have so much explaining to do."

The recruits looked on, not only at the efficiency of these men and women but at the vulnerability that they saw in their teacher. Cragen handed Elliott his clothes as he sat up on the table, Cragen whispered,

"Some recruits are outside."

Cragen stood in front of Elliott as he got dropped his shirt and pulled up his boxers. Cragen then said,

"You need to get checked out, no arguments."

Elliott knew he had to. Just the thought of her hands on him and where she had put them flashed in his mind as he grabbed the garbage can in the corner of the room and heaved into it. Sabrina watched him as Cragen turned and said to her,

"You take Elliott to get checked out and tested. I'll take him down to the precinct."

Sabrina nodded, as she looked at Elliott as he straightened himself out and got dressed. She asked,

"Did he say why he felt the need to go this far?"

Elliott shook his head,

"No."

After he was dressed, Cragen poked his head into the room,

"I just got off the phone with Doc Warner, she said to bypass the hospital and go see her. She will do the tests and kit."

Bennett and Brown went back to the squad room with everyone else while Elliott and Sabrina flew in the chopper back to the ME's office. When they got there Doc Warner looked at Elliott and said,

"I figured you would be more comfortable doing this here than at the hospital, after the night you have had."

He nodded and then said,

"You know Melinda, I always figured the only way you would see this much of me was on your slab considering how many times I have been shot and stabbed."

Sabrina watched him, she knew he was trying to deflect the whole situation with humour but she also knew he was riding high on adrenaline. Melinda handed his some hospital scrubs and said,

"For after the exam. I am going to keep your clothes to make sure they have none of her fluids on them."

He nodded. She then said,

"You can strip behind that divider."

He shook his head,

"You are my friend and I trust you. I can do this in front of you."

She nodded. Sabrina had not questioned him during their ride, she knew he had a lot to process. He was a man who had been through a lot but this was different, she knew he would talk but she would not push. She watched as he stood naked in front of Melinda as she took swaps and pictures, she did a complete examination and found fluids where Sarah had handled his erection including the tip. As soon as he felt her swap him, his tears started to flow, Melinda had seen him brooding and angry but never with tears. She looked at Sabrina who stood saying nothing, Elliott finally said,

"I have never been so scared in all my life."

Sabrina nodded and finally said,

"I would worry if you weren't. Do you want to talk?"

He shook his head,

"I will talk to you about it but not now. You know when Olivia went undercover at Sealview I opened the door for her to talk to me about it but she never did, I now understand why. I just want to be done with this and get to the truth about why it happened."

Melinda said as she took off her gloves,

"Elliott you can put the scrubs on now. I am done and you are free to shower. I am going to give you 1 month supply of the protocol and antiviral to be on the safe side and I will get your blood work to the lab tonight so we can get the test results back as soon as possible."

He nodded and said,

"Thank you. I appreciate your friendship more than you know."

She nodded,

"You and I have a long history that goes beyond our friendship."

He smiled and then looked at Sabrina, who said,

"Ready to get to the truth?"

"Yes."

_**Back at the squadroom, he felt all their eyes on him, he looked at them all – some had confusion, some had hatred, some had pity but none of them were friendly.**_

Upon seeing Cragen John asked,

"How is Elliott?"

Cragen,

"A mix of emotions, everything from emotionally upset to confused to angry. Sabrina is with him at Doc Warner's getting his bloodwork and kits done."

Chester asked,

"What happened?"

Olivia said,

"We are going to put this guy in an interrogation room and wait for Elliott. He won't be long and we will tell the whole story at once."

Fin said,

"Are you sure Stabler should be in a room with him? Elliott will kill him..."

John said,

"I would not go that far..."

Fin said,

"You did not see what we walked in on."

As Olivia brought him to the interrogation room, she asked,

"No matter how hard I try I can't figure out why you would do this to Elliott? Especially after everything this past year."

There was no response. She walked out of the room and headed back to the squad room shaking her head. As she entered Elliott and Sabrina did too, she ran to hug Elliott and he did not hug her back. She pulled away and said,

"El, tonight doesn't change anything for me."

He looked at her as he pulled away,

"But it does for me."

Olivia watched as he walked towards the interrogation room and she looked at Sabrina who followed him,

"Olivia give him time. Just remember he loves you and you love him."

Olivia,

"Has he talked to you?"

Sabrina shook her head,

"He says he is not ready. But trust me, I am not going anywhere til I know he is okay."

Olivia nodded as the squadroom followed Elliott to interrogation.

Elliott and Sabrina walked into the room and closed the door, everyone else watched from outside. Elliott said,

"You have my uninterrupted attention, George, why did you do this to me?"

He said,

"Were you not listening to me while you were tied up or were your tears blocking your ears?"

Elliott said,

"I've known you for 10 years. I've had lunch with you, got beat up in prison with you, asked for your help during the Gitano case, I went to you after I shot Jenna and you got me to Sabrina. I don't understand what I did to piss you off so much you would use a young girl to seek revenge on me. She trusted you to help her and you used her."

George sat looking from Elliott to Sabrina. He said to her,

"You do not have any questions?"

Sabrina answered,

"I have the same questions as Elliott. I do not understand this, I trained you and even I did not see this coming."

George laughed, he leaned back in his chair and followed his arms over his chest and said,

"Sit back and get comfortable and I will tell why. Sabrina you have nothing to do with this, but Elliott this is about unanswered love."

Elliott looked at him questioningly,

"Unanswered love. What are you talking about?"

George closed his eyes and said,

"10 years ago when I walked into this squad room of the all the people in here you were the one that caught my eye. Your cockiness, self confidence and arrogance was downright sexy. Sure I knew you had kids and were married at the time, but that did not stop my feelings. For me it was love at first sight, and for a time I thought you felt the same way but were playing hard to get. I'd see you look over at me and then look away just as quickly. I remember the first time I saw part of your chest, when you got stabbed with the pen and Captain Cragen asked me to look at it, I could see you trying hard not to stare at me. I knew you felt the same way I did. Then you got divorced and I saw my chance, I followed you and you would be out for a drink or something with Olivia, or when you took a couple of other ladies out. Every time I thought I had the nerve to ask you out, Cragen would keep you all here on some case, I always stuck around to just to be near. I remember when Dani Beck was your partner and you started wearing the tight tshirts and jeans, it was like a dream come true, the tshirts were so tight you might as well not have been wearing one. Then you got back together with Kathy but I never lost hope."

Elliott said,

"But I am not homosexual and honestly I never knew you were."

George hit the table and raising his voice he said,

"That is just it, I knew so much about you and you acted like I did not exist at times. You came around when Cragen forced you to or threatened to suspend you and you needed a psych eval to stay on the job. I passed those evals because I loved you and I thought you loved me."

Elliott asked,

"What did I do to make you think I loved you?"

George,

"Do not act like you do not know. All those hidden smiles, that not everyone got to see. All those flirtatious moments when you thought we were alone."

Elliott was stunned,

"If you felt that way why not come at me head on?"

George,

"I saw the way you looked at Olivia. But you know when the changing factor for me was?"

Elliott shook his head,

"No. When?"

George smiled,

"When I saw you with Babs Duffy. The way she hit on you in the squad room, when she gave you that kiss and you pulled away, looking shyly at me. Then I knew that if you were not homosexual you were bisexual, you had such a softer way of approaching that gender, you seemed to understand more than with straight victims."

Outside the room everyone was watching and Fin said,

"Elliott is as bisexual as I am."

Olivia said,

"I agree."

Cragen said,

"In the words of the old Detective Stabler, this shrink needs to be shrunk."

Back in the room, Elliott looked at Sabrina and then back at George and asked,

"Why Sarah?"

George said,

"Because when you came to me after shooting Jenna you were a complete basket case and I knew that Sabrina was the only one who could help you. I also saw it as a way to show you how much I loved you and maybe you would finally be able to admit you loved me. But on the ride up to Greenwood, I do not know if you remember this but, you asked me why I was doing this for you. I told you I loved you and needed you to be healthy so we could be together. You laughed and said, that you were flattered that I loved you but you would never return the feelings because you were not gay. You were into women not men. I told you that once you got better that would change, you guaranteed me your feelings would not change, that the only woman you truly loved was Olivia and that she was your soulmate. I wanted to ditch and wreck the car right there but I knew you were not yourself. While you were in Greenwood, I talked to Sabrina everyday and she told me that you getting better but very slowly. I met Sarah while that Bellevue, I told her I was Dr. Chang because it was my undercover persona with the FBI."

Sabrina said,

"It was never activated."

George,

"Because I was never sent undercover. Anyway when I talked to Sarah and found out you were her obsession and how angry she was with you I decided to use that to my advantage. I knew no matter what she did I could get her off on an insanity defence. So I hypnotized her and set triggers for her to follow you and take pictures, she was my eyes, you knew me but not her, hell her brother got into your class and you did not recognize him so I knew she was the right person."

Sabrina asked,

"How did you get her onto the Clinic property?"

George,

"That was easy, in the trunk of my car. All your security knew me and you gave me an all access pass that it was a piece of cake."

Elliott said,

"Why rape Babs?"

George said,

"Well when Sarah found out she had AIDS, a friend of hers recommended Babs group for support so she went. While there Babs told a story about befriending you and Olivia and how you two became Allies of her group and that if she called you two would come. I got Sarah to ask her how she would get you to come since you retired, and Babs said that it would not be hard to get you to come back if she needed you. When you took the job at the Academy and fell out of touch with everyone including Olivia I knew that you would never come back to SVU or me. I was pissed at you, I wanted revenge and I set my plan in motion to get it, I had a mask made to look like the sketch and put it on. I then went to a genetics friend of my and had him make me some genetically altered sperm free male fluids so that I could fake raping her but everything would look like the real thing. She would not know the difference, but I knew she would call you and it worked she did call you and you came running. Then I had Sarah follow you and take pictures so I would know where you were at all times so I could arrange to have you grabbed so that Sarah could exact her revenge."  
Elliott wanted to be sick, but he asked,

"But how does that give you revenge?"

George rubbed his hands and smiled,

"I was going to hold you hostage and make you fall in love with me, and if that did not work I was going to bend you over a table and show you what you were missing."

Elliott stood up and clinched his fists tightly, he looked at Sabrina and took a deep breath, he turned to George and said trying to keep his emotions in check,

"Why did you not come to me when I was in my regular frame of mind and talk to me? Instead you chose to destroy lives here."

George stood up as Elliott walked out the door,

"Wait. You mean I really had a chance with you?"

Elliott said,

"I guess you will never know. But you will have plenty of time in jail to think about it."

All the eyes watching through the window, watched as he walked away...


	40. Epilogue

**UPDATED AUTHOR'S NOTE : JULY 20, 2013**

**This is what I love about writing, everyone who reads this story has a different interpretation of it and I love that, it means I did my job. I ended where I did because that journey was over and it seemed appropriate for Elliott's character, but it has blown the door open for a sequel to take them on their own journey to rediscovery and reinventing their relationship. To be honest I am an avid reader and if a story is too long I seem to lose interest, and for me, Elliott and Olivia have too big a story to tell in one journey - for me the length would have taken away the important of their relationship. To give justice to them, as a couple, and you, as a reader and reviewer, it needs to be broken into two stories. I will be doing the sequel shortly...  
**

**A/N: This is the final chapter of this story. If anyone is interested I will write the sequel. As for this journey, Thank you to all of you who read and reviewed – I really appreciated the time you took to do this. **

It had been a month since Elliott's attempted rape, and Sarah had been committed to Bellevue for psychiatric treatment. Dr. Skoda had agreed to take her on as a patient when Sabrina asked him. Dr. George Huang, had lost his medical license for life and Babs, although happy to know that no real penis had entered her still pressed rape and assault charges against George.

Elliott's test results came back and he had no STDs or AIDS he could stop taking the meds, which he was glad about since they made him sick as hell just like the last time. He was wanted so much to talk to Olivia about what had happened and he couldn't. Not yet. He went back to teaching at the Academy as a changed man.

Olivia stood by Elliott, he would not sleep alone at night, she held him. They would kiss but he would not let her touch his in any way sexual because he said he felt dirty. He asked her for time, she knew how he felt she had been there.

John and Fin kept in touch with Elliott, they asked him out for a beer but he wasn't ready, but promised he would when he was ready.

**THE END**


End file.
